Slump, dump, grump - it continues.

Although it might not be entirely evident, I have been in a slump.

Feeling in the dump. Sometimes like a grump!

The slump started at the beginning 2010! (See, I am good at hiding it.)

To begin with, I wasn't knitting hardly at all. (That is always a real bad sign.) Yes, I was still buying yarn (because I wasn't dead.) But the act of actually knitting took a major hit.

And I have had crafting ADD. (I flitted from one hobby to the next.) I kept my knitting-hand in but I started several other crafts - spinning and weaving mostly. Started but stalled. Finished projects??? Not so many. 2009 was my banner year for that. And yet ... when I look at my spinning wheel, and the yarn I created I get a warm fuzzy feeling. I think, I need to make more time for that. And when I look at my new loom and the 2 inches of weaving I created, I smile. But sitting down to do these things still is a major struggle for me right now. If I do anything I work on a vanilla sock, or I make more weave-it squares for the blanket I am working on. Both require no thought, no skill, no engagement. But at least I am doing that. Last year? Nothing.

I wasn't exercising as much. I started Tai Chi in 2009, and I picked up walking at the end of 2010. But both have been a struggle in 2011. Because Tai Chi was at a fixed time, I finally had to drop it. I could not make a fixed time class. I picked up Curves as a replacement, but it is struggle to get there as well. And walking, well, that sort of fell off the radar entirely with the hospitalizations and the rehab for my mom. *sigh*

So today I was sitting on my couch like a lump in a dump ... in a grump!! And I FORCED myself off the couch and out the door for a walk. It was good. Walking never fails me. I need to do the same tomorrow.

But everything seems like an effort right now. I know this is a phase that will pass, and I know that I get tripped up every time mom takes a nose-dive health-wise. But I wish I wasn't always struggling to get "back on the horse"! She is doing better and I am now focusing on me again - pushing myself to do the things that I know are important for me.

As far the rise and fall of life's hights and slumps go, this one has been the longest slump of my whole life. It definitely has pushed the boundaries of my experience.

OK, my self-pity talk is now over. Thanks for sticking around to the very end.

Have you had a similar experience that you would like to share? I would love to know that I am not some sort of an odd-ball in a normal world!

Be back again soon.

Waltzing to Rock Music!

Yarn was made this weekend. And I did it. A beautiful brown, single ply, thick and thin, Merino and Bamboo yarn. And I am now sure the decision I made 7 months ago to purchase a spinning wheel was the right one.

The weekend began with the arrival of my cousin from Pennsylvania. She arrived with her spinning wheel, her new Kromski Harp loom and her knitting. Her weekend was totally productive finishing some spinning, weaving (a gorgeous scarf - my pictures don't do it justice), work on a pair of socks (using 2 circular needles, toe up, doing 2 socks at one time, and her first cable pattern - the woman is invincible!), and she helped me get moving on this spinning thing.

My focus was my spinning wheel only. We started by taking the wheel out of its carrying case and digging around in the archive of my brain to remember how to put it together again. My cousin spent time checking, oiling and testing the wheel to see if it was ready for the rookie spinner. It passed the test.

Then began the inspection of the many fibers I had purchased last year - trying to find a good one for unskilled hands. She prepared and attached a leader to my wheel and connected the unspun fiber. It was then time for me to "sit behind the wheel" so to speak, and do the deed.

So I sat down with my cousins voice echoing in my head, "You only get better by practice." Hmm, ... practice.

And the struggle began: pulling on the fiber too much or not releasing enough, peddling too slow and then too fast, drafting too much or not enough, stopping the wheel to fix all the funky stuff I caused after all the previous stuff I did ... all performed as if trying to dance the waltz to rock music. And the echo kept returning "you only get better if you practice" - so I plowed on.

And then something happened. I wasn't thinking about my feet so much. I guess they figured out what they needed to do finally. That freed up some brain function. And then I noticed that occasionally I was able spin continually for about 5 or 6 seconds before stopping. Yes, that seems short, but it is an improvement over spinning for 2-3 seconds before stopping. I also began to catch my own mistakes: I still made them but I at least I saw them.

And, I, too, worked on a pair of socks - but I was doing it the old fashion way: one at a time, top down, using double pointed needles. My only real claim to fame on these beauties is that I am working on the foot of the second sock - so the end is within sight. Since the start was January 2009 it is about time they were done. I started out making them for me, but they will go to my daughter when they are complete.

Having my cousin here for a visit tops the list of weekend treasures. Spinning a bunch holds second place. Mom really enjoyed the visit - fascinated by the weaving. And then there was the food (the corn bread and bacon vegetable soup were yummy at lunch on Saturday), and the wine (thank you Australia for Yellow Tail) was great, and the sharing (catching up on our lives, planning for future visits) was long overdue ... these weekends always great fun.

Goals - OK, I lied.

*Sigh*

I said I wouldn't do this. But I will. (So will you ever be able to believe anything I say?)

In 2010 I had goals. I worked out what they would be during the whole month of January. That should have been a big red flag right there - who takes a whole month to work out goals!! Indecision? Maybe. Commitment issues? Possibly. A forecast of my mental state for the year? You betcha!

This year I have a few goals. But I am going to keep it simple. If 2011 is anything like 2010 - no point in getting carried away with big plans.

Goal #1 - Get Focused!

Last year was a "craft ADD year" for me. I couldn't focus on one thing if my crafting life depended on it. After Thanksgiving, there was a great wasteland of nothing-ness. I went from doing a gazillion different things and to doing nothing, na-da, zilch. Gotta do better this year.

Goal #2 - Use 5,000 yards of yarn.

I have an embarrassing amount yarn. Last year I decided to count the yards of yarn in my stash (a diversionary tactic to keep from doing actual knitting, you understand). Based on my totals as of May - if I knitted 5,000 yards of yarn a year, I wouldn't run out of yarn until 92 years of age (gads!). I am 63 - you do the math. I went on an immediate yarn diet, but broke it this month when I rewarded myself. http://mynext20yearsofliving.blogspot.com/2011/01/rewards-good-thing.html, Still, 5,000 yards a year is a reasonable goal.

Goal #3 - Spin.

Now you wouldn't think that a person who has as much yarn as I have would need to make more yarn. You would be wrong. I have a great spinning wheel, several lovely spindles and a bag full of beautiful fiber. My spinning cousin is coming for a weekend visit in a few weeks, and my plan is for her to help me get launched using my wheel.

Goal #4 - Weave on my hand looms.

A new craft this year and two projects underway. Yeah ... this needs more of my attention. I love the look of the finished product.

Goal #5 - Complete 2 knitting projects - and maybe more.

I have 2 projects I am working on presently: a pair of socks I started in January 2009 (yes, 2 years ago ... don't go there), and a sweater I started in June of 2010. There are a few other projects that are in my mental list to begin (a sweater for Kris, another sweater for Milo, a shawl for mom, and a sweater, vest or shawl for me), but I am refusing to start them until these 2 are done.

Well, we will see how long that lasts.

Five goals - few enough to be do-able, nonspecific enough to be achievable, inclusive enough to keep me connected to the stuff I want to do.

Keeping my fingers crossed!

Pulling out of a fiber funk!

This year it seems I took a bit of a hiatus from knitting. It wasn't planned. I actually had a very long list of knitting goals back in January 2010 - mostly knitting - because that was what I was into last year.

You see, 2009 was "The Year of Me". Everything I planned to make was going to be for me only. My knitting group friends were also invited to knit things for me (of course, that got a laugh but ... you never know! :-) ) In all my prior knitting years, I made stuff for others, but 2009 was going to be about me. And so I knitted like a mad-woman for the whole year. Big projects. Sweaters mostly, but other stuff as well. I even finished a scarf that I started in 2000 - yes, it took 9 years to complete (don't ask). At the end of 2009 I fell apart on the selfishness vow and knitted a hoodie sweater for my daughter. But other than that, it was me, me, me.

This year the "knitting tsunami" came to a crashing halt. I don't know why but I couldn't get enthused to knit much of anything. I finally made a sweater, that I gave to mom because it was just too warm for me. And I made a hoodie for me, but it is sitting downstairs waiting for buttons. In May signed up for a Knit-a-Long on the web site Ravelry. The sweater was one I have looked forward to making, but I am not very far along (pictured above).

There were a few spikes of new interests this year, however. I bought a spinning wheel, but I am waiting for more time with my cousin to help me get my spinning "legs". I have done some spinning on a spindle but that has been sitting idle recently. I am still very interested in spinning, but I haven't got much time or energy right now for such a big new thing.

A smaller new thing was weaving on hand looms: the Weave-It loom and the Hazel Rose Looms. They have been very easy to learn, and very easy to pick up and put down. They seem to fit very well into the ADD that has been my hobby life this year.

I have begun a new project - a sweater for Milo that will match the matching sweaters my daughter and I have. As far as knitting goes, that is what I am knitting on mostly. It is getting cold outside so that is my main focus.

BUT ... for November 2

Despite my distractions this year, I am very, very thankful for these hobbies, for my large stash of yarn and fiber, for the tools I use to support these hobbies, for the friends and family who join me in these wonderful past times, for my knitting group filled with friends who encourage each other weekly. I am so very lucky.

My interest in these hobbies is still strong. The funk that has been 2010 is fading. I am eager to pick up my needles, my looms, my spinning wheel and spindles ... and I am so grateful for them.

# 8 Be passionate about your passions

I am enthusiastic about my pasttimes. Passionate is a good word for it. Passionate about my passions. Something catches my eye and I just need to do it. I think having hobbies and/or interests keeps you young in spirit, engaged with life and people, mentally sharp - all the things we start out life doing without thinking.

But hobbies are not part of all lives. Some are so focused on their careers that there isn't time for anything else. I did that crazy behavior for 5 years before I realized that I didn't like the person I had become. I quit making the job the focus of my life and took up knitting. Knitting will never be far from my side because it made me sane when I needed help. For some, interests slip away as they age. That has happened to my mother. Other than reading, she shows little interest in filling her time with anything besides TV game shows and tracking the weather.

Until this year I can say that knitting and my beloved grand-dogs have filled my life. But this year I got restless. I needed something new. So, in keeping with my passionate response to things, in the last 6 months I added 5 new interests to my life (keeping the first two, of course). The pictures reflect activities that I haven't pictured in this blog yet.

• iPad and game addiction. There are adventure games with characters that you play and stats that you improve, dragons that you kill, treasures that you find, goals that you achieve. Come on ... you haven't lived until you have killed at level 30 Demon Seed with massive fangs dripping with blood and one burning eye that sees into your soul, and stands 20 feet tall with massive armour ... beat him single handedly in an awsome battle of wits and skill and lots of healing potions!! Of course, if that is not your style, some games are strange but satisfying - like We Rule and We Farm. In both you create your own little world, buy buildings and farm land, plant and harvest crops, collect rents, increase fortunes, and expand your dwelling, your lands, your businesses. There are no Demon Seeds there! Really, if anyone had told me a year ago that I would be playing this kind of game I would have asked you what you were smoking. IPad apps should come with a warning label as being hazardous to the rest of your life. Steve Jobs - shame on you!

Weave-Its: I was introduced to this little loom by my friend HappyOne and I blogged about it a few days ago. I have a fascination with weaving ever since I saw a full size loom in use on a visit to Maine several years ago. The loom filled a small bedroom-size space. I decided that I couldn't house such a large hobby, but when I saw this hand held loom and the beautiful fabric it produced, I was hooked. And I have this failing - if the item is rare or hard to get, the challenge to get one becomes part of the appeal. They stopped making these looms in the 1950s. I was not detered. I am happily making these little squares and look forward to having my own blanket made out of left over yarn - of which I have a ton (another failing).

• Walking: I have a long history of walking, but stopped 2 years ago because of my stupid feet. They are better now, but gettng back to walking seemed like a chore. Thanks to HappyOne, I was able to see my walks through different eyes and have returned to the enjoyment of this simple activity.

Spinning: My cousin introduced me to spinning. Seeing her beautiful yarn creations finally roped me into buying a spinning wheel. Although I haven't been active doing this now, the desire is still there. I have the wheel, I have the desire and I have the roving - now I need the time.

Blogging. OK, it's HappyOne again!! Yes, I discovered her blog and decided that I should try that too. I love writing and was paid to write in the past. Now I do it for the pure joy of writing. HappyOne, if you do any other activites that I don't know about yet, please keep them a secret until 2011. I am full up right now. :-)

And I am still knitting. I can't stop that because I have the equivalent of a small yarn store in my yarn stash. I may even need to add that stash into my will. And besides, knitting is my soul mate. When I can manage it, I read. That and my granddogs who when they are here demand my full attention!

It is a busy, busy life. I love it.

Now, when I can get God to take me seriously about extending the day from 24 to 36 hours, I would like to add 2 more things to my list. As a young person, I discovered that I have a talent for drawing. Certainly the artist in me is not anywhere near as strong or as developed as it is for my cousins. But it is gift that I never developed (which I am sure I will hear about when I reach the Pearly Gates). I just might be able to squeeze this activity into my next 20 years, but NOT in 2010.

And a friend suggested that I might like Genealogy. That idea does intrigue me, but I also know it is a "hobby" that can suck all the oxygen and hours out of your day and then some. But my son did start the process going several years ago on an on-line family tree site. We'll see.

So, those are my passions - and it is a major 20 year goal to keep them all juggled without dropping one!

You know, I didn't "work" this hard when I had a job!! ;-)

A Saturday at the Mannings

Poised to begin!

It was a beautiful day for an outdoor event at The Mannings and a perfect combination of family, fiber activities, food, and learning. All the anticipation and planning of the previous weeks leading up to this one day - a day that seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. Wouldn't it be grand if someone invented something that could slow down time just for one wonderful day.

I had 2 goals for that day (beyond spending time with family): begin spinning on my new spinning wheel and avoid purchasing yarn in the shop. Check and check!! I made a major discovery with spinning on a wheel - although it looks restful when done by skilled hands, it is anything but restful when done by a newbee like me. There have got to be 6 things going on all at the same time, using both hands, and both feet

and your brain - AND there is a small cycle of activity that gets applied over all that - drafting, allowing the twist to into the drafted fiber and then allowing the wheel to take up the spun fiber and then repeat, and repeat and repeat in order. *sigh*. I had to take a break to work on a complicated lace knitting pattern - at least while I was doing that my feet were resting. And no fiber purchases in the shop ... that probably was a first in the 13 years I have been knitting that I left empty handed. Actually I am trying to avoid buying yarn from anywhere for awhile. Over the winter I inventoried of my yarn stash - based on knitting 5,000 yards of yarn a year ... I would need to live to 92 or 93 before I ran out! That calculation just continues to fester in my brain. I am not opposed to having a decent stash of yarn, but I think a small yarn shop worth is pushing the envelope on acceptable.

The main challenge of the day was keeping our chairs in the shade. We started the morning perfectly situated under a tree, facing out past a grapevine to a rural setting unmarred by development. As the sun moved, so did we unfortunately. Each re-location was supposed to be our final move. We move 4 times - but in the end we won the battle with the sun.

And for the second year in a row, my sister won one of the many door prizes they announced. I think my sister should play the lottery!

First Efforts - alittle thick and chuncky but a start! I have already decided I need to buy a Wooley Winder so that I don't need to keep moving the yarn over the hooks! Have to save up for that.

One beautiful person is missing from this shot. Our other cousin LC from PA. She had to work in a new job. She was missed!

Total Steps: 3728 (that is what you get when you sit in the car to go, sit at the knit-in, and sit in the car to return - and, of course standing - like we did for this picture - not too many steps there either!)

Aggie (Agatha) has been born!!

So here she is! Agatha was born this morning. That "spring-y thing-y" (known to spinners as a tension spring - pictured below) that was giving me so much trouble just finally fell into place and then everything else seemed to follow logically.

And the wheel actually spins!! Too funny saying that, but I just was surprised when I had all the pieces in place and I pushed on the pedals and it moved the wheel and the wheel moved the thing-y with all the hooks (OK, I am still learning the terminology). It made me smile.

The green bag beside the wheel is specially designed to hold the spinning wheel when it is folded down. It has various pockets designed to hold pieces of the wheel when it is folded. It is padded and molded inside to hold the wheel snugly.

So I am still oiling and adjusting and reading up on what I need to have a "happy and healthy" Aggie. I am please so far with this spinning wheel.

Total steps: 4421 (pathetic - need to do better)

My spinning wheel has a "birth-mark"!

Well the assembly of the spinning wheel has hit a snag. There is a spring-y thing-y that I can't seem to get attached properly.

The wheel comes partially assembled and with assembly instructions and tools. But the instructions come with a cover sheet that says in BOLDED, ITALICIZED AND UNDERLINED, and over-sized print, that the distributor wants to help you if you have questions, they give a phone number and the whole sheet is filled with assurances that they want your spinning wheel experience to positive - so please call if you have questions with assembly!! hmmm .....

I am always suspicious of overly-formatted text. I can't help but wonder if the writer thinks you can't read it unless it is big, or pick out the important parts without help, or maybe added emphasis is the goal - but it always looks like yelling to me, or ... (and here is what I really think is going on with the spinning wheel instructions) ... the assembly instructions are a bit convoluted and are not easily understood by a non-spinner.

Thankfully I am seeing my cousin on Saturday who is handy at tinkering and experienced in spinning. If I am unsuccessful this week, she will rescue me! On the up-side. The walnut stain is beautiful and the wheel is beautiful. I did notice a small ding on one of the wood pedals. I am treating it as 'birth-mark" ... I think I will love this wheel when it is put together. I will let you know when it is "born".

Total Steps:

The Spinning Wheel just appeared!

It came last night!! Just appeared on my door step around dinner time. Fast delivery from The Woolery. But decided not to open it until today. Yesterday had been non-stop stuff and I had 3 dogs in the house, dinner to put on the table and just plain tired.

Of course, today I struggled with priorities: walk first or put the wheel together. I chose to walk. But I did open the box and unpack the pieces before I went for a walk.

Pictures and update to follow.

total steps - 9510

#3 Keep learning - Dancing with the Stars??? Probably not!

It has been a peaceful morning. Meathead and Grimace went home yesterday - eager to spend a quiet night sleeping in their own bed without Milo's insistence on playing. I think Milo missed the canine company but we all really did need a break ... ALL of us!! Meathead and Grimace will be back today and my daughter will return tonight (Milo will be very very happy) and so we will have a big sleep over tonight - and it will be alittle easier with an extra set of hands.

Keep learning: I have given alot thought to how to reach this goal. Once you leave professional life, you have to seek out learning opportunities independently. I think it is one of the biggest transitions you have when you retire - keeping your brain active and engaged. I can honestly say that I haven't done a good job of that over the first few years of my retirement. I have played around with the possibility of learning a foreign language. But somehow it doesn't fit with where I am in my life right now ... it would be alot like putting sliced pickels on a peanut butter sandwich. I like both but together it doesn't seem to make sense.

I have considered auditing college classes, but additional time away from home right now is not a viable option. Of course, when it is possible, I might take some formal art training. It would be fun and I have some unexplored and novice abilities in art. I think learning Tai Chi over the last year was a kind of learning opportunity. On the up side - I am reaping more of the physical and mental benefits of Tai Chi. But it took me almost a year to get to this point in Tai Chi, so I should not put on my list of goals - Dancing with the Stars!!! HA

This year I have decided to learn to spin fiber into yarn. This goal fits in perfectly with my interest in knitting. I have resisted learning to spin for some time ... concerned about the costly purchase of a spinning wheel, unsure if it was something I really wanted to do, alittle intimidated by the prospect of learning new jargon, new skills, new equipment ... maybe I was intimidated by the prospect of learning again. After much thought, and looking at various spinning wheels, I am sure that this is my next learning opportunity.

I will buy a new wheel rather than purchasing one second hand. Knowing next to nothing about wheels - it seemed to make sense to spend alittle more and get a new wheel - one that doesn't have hidden issues that an experienced spinner might spot and know how to deal with. I am also going to get a portable wheel - one that folds and can be put into a carrying case - and I want one that has some style - old style - and is made out of named woods - not ply board, plastic or pressed/processed wood material (as I have noticed in some well known wheel brands). The Kromski Sonata is a full size wheel that come is 3 finish choices. It seems to have a decent reputation and is a wheel that is not easily outgrown. It is a polish manufacturer - and I have polish ancestors - TA DA! Seems like a match to me! But seriously, all things considered, it seems to have all the elements I am looking for (the polish thingy was just a plus LOL). So the investigative issues are complete. Just need to order the item. I'll wait another week ...

And then, major learning begins - still alittle scary!