Dear Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

I am one of your biggest fans! In fact, I love all your seasons including Winter. Winter is my favorite season so you know I am not exaggerating when I say I am your fan.

Speaking of Winter!

I don't know if you have looked down from your perch lately, but Winter in my little piece of the world has not yet started! And I don't know if you have checked your calendar, but it is February!

Think about that, February!!

I am sitting out on my deck - it is 61 degrees - I don't even have a sweater on.

61 degrees ... February !!!

Doesn't that seem wrong to you?

Although no one else will tell you this ... because they are NOT a lover of all your seasons like I am, you need to "get cracking!" Send some snow. Send a foot of snow. Do it soon, because ....

YOU ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!

Sorry, I wasn't yelling. And I don't want to tell you how to do your job! But this is "sub-quality winter." This is below your normal standards! This situation is

TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE !!!

No, not yelling! Just trying to get your attention! Don't want you to be embarrassed by

SUBSTANDARD WINTER WEATHER!!!!!!!

(Breathe, breathe, breathe ....)

Not yelling, really, not yelling .... but ....

(be calm, be calm, be calm ...)

Dear Mother Nature, I calmly request that you send some snow, and not just a spitting coating of snow on the grass, but something substantial that isn't embarrassing to you. A foot would be nice.

(counting backwards from 100 slowly ... and deliberately ...)

Just do what you do best - send winter! Now.

With Love and Great Affection,

Retired Knitter

PS - There will be comments to this post that request that you keep things warm this winter! They are not your true friends. Do not listen to them. Be true to yourself. Do what is correct. Do what you do best.

Send snow!

Please.

86

Happy 86th Birthday, Mom!

You are much loved!

Everyone Should Wear A Tux

My dear husband will need a tux for our son's wedding.

Measurements were taken, shoes were tried on, a mini view of the selections were displayed. While he was being measured, I took pictures. This kind of thing seems to happen .... oh, maybe only every 40 years or so!! I apologized to the staff for taking pictures, and they graciously recognized that I wasn't the first to take pictures of this infrequent event.

And in a blink of an eye - it was over. We were done. They will let us know a few days before the event when to pick it up. My husband said he couldn't remember the last time he wore a tux.

Silly man, I remembered!

He wore a tux at our wedding 42 years ago.

Now he remembers too!!

LOL

I have decided that EVERYONE should wear a Tux. The women too. Think on it!

I am the only one in the wedding party who DOESN'T have her wedding duds. And I am feeling the pressure of that fact. Where to get a dress, what to get, time going from one store to another, trying on multiple dresses, and ... (*sigh*) ... the wearing of it at the wedding! And then there are the shoes. I need to get shoes for this event. And hair - I need to get all 6 of my hairs done up!!! And I guess my usual solitary lipstick would be lost in the glittery sea of my dress, shoes and hair - so full make up is on the list of things I need to stress about - and not just any make up but the full deal done by a professional.

When all this is done, no one will know who I am.

I will be totally in disguise.

I could probably rob a bank.

No one would know it was me!!

Panic, Panic, Panic.

Men - they just walk in, get measured, pick it up 2 days before, run a comb through their hair, pluck a few nose hairs and maybe shave - or not! And DONE! And to add insult to injury ... they look good, too!

Everyone should wear a Tux!

PS - But for this wonderful woman who will soon be my daughter-in-law, I would do anything, including going in disguise!

:-)

Again ...

Well, I am back to walking again. It always seems like I am starting over ... again.

I had a troublesome start in January with that 2 weeks spell of Shingles. I felt very worn down and could hardly keep any clothing against the skin of my torso. Walking was out of the question ... except maybe walking from the bed to the couch! In fact, just moving was a challenge for a few days. LOL

But that has passed, thankfully.

So I am going forward with my goal of moving that little lady across my blog screen. I probably won't make 1,000 miles in 2012. That total was based on 3 miles per day - every day. It was an ambitious goal when I set it. But no matter. I am happy to just see how close I can get by December 31, 2012.

So for January 2012 - 15.8 miles.

Books in my ears

I love reading books, but now I prefer to listen to them instead. Since joining Audible, the "reading" of books has jumped a lot. I love that I can listen and do other things.

Briefly I want share some of my recent titles/authors with you. I won't share the story but I will provide links to Amazon where there are wonderful summaries and other reviewers. This listing is just my impressions and may point you to other authors you haven't read.

Also, I read a lot of different things. This list trends toward "escape" literature - no deep thinking stuff. Scare me, make me laugh, make me anticipate, make me care - you don't have to educate me. Right now - that is where I am in my life. Next year? Who knows.

Stephen King

Sadly, I am no longer a fan. Carrie, It, Needful Things, Pet Cemetery - just to name a few of his past titles that I thoroughly enjoyed. But now, his new titles ... not so much.

I bought the audio version of The Dome and listened to it completely. If I had borrowed this book from the library I would have stopped about 80 pages in and returned it. I just didn't care enough about the story or the characters. I guess I was just bored! Great idea though - a town that is covered by a clear dome - and what happens. But what happened didn't move me enough.

A recent release of Mr. King's was 11-22-63. This is a time travel book and was hugely hyped by Audible and Amazon. I know that other King fans were also excited by its release. I listened to about 8 hours - and stopped. I think I got bored. I know I didn't care about the characters. That is the death nell for me. After 8 hours of listening, I feel I gave this book a fair shot. I also know that I am in the minority in panning this book. You might enjoy it. I didn't.

I think that my Stephen King days are over. His writing doesn't seem to capture my imagination any more, it is dark in its focus without the icing of the "scare" factor, just depressing rather than interesting. So bye-bye Stephen King. You and I must part company for now. If you ever write something in the style of your earlier novels - I'll come back - eagerly.

(Note: if there is a King novel in the similar vein of his earlier works, please let me know. I miss the old-King.)

Diana Gabaldon - Outlander Series

I have blogged about the author and the series in a previous post (January 4, 2012). So I won't spend much time on it here - except to say I am a huge fan. I love big books, big stories, big characters - I care greatly about this pair - Jamie and Claire - and I will be sorry when this series finally end (hopefully not in my life time. LOL) I am up to the forth book - The Fiery Cross. This is a yummy series. Jamie and Claire are now my "friends." If you like adventure, love story, steamy love scenes, historical bits that slip easily into the history of the time ... this book is for you. I look forward to the next books.

How to Knit a Love Story - Rachael Herron

A Cypress Hollow Yarn

This book, as well as 2 others, was given to me as a Christmas gift by my daughter and this is an actual book rather than an audio book. (Yes, I still do love to read an actual book, to hold it in my hands and feel its weight, to turn the pages, to use a real book mark or to dog ear the page to keep my place ... yes, I love real books, too.) How to Knit a Love Story is the first in the series of 3 books - stories that have only the town of Cypress Hollow as the common denominator. This series is definitely light fun reading, fast, and themed for those who are interested in fiber arts. And when I say themed ... I don't mean that causally - fiber arts is a major part of the story, at least in this first book. It is a love story that reads fast, I care about the characters and how they turn out, and I always look forward to returning to the story.

These are the stories that are filling my days. There are others sitting queued up in my night stand or in my Audible Library. As they rise to the surface, I will share them with you.

A knitter crochets - sort of

A crochet pattern caught my eye!

I loved it!

I had to have it!

Nuts!

I would have to crochet it!

But I have never been short on enthusiasm. I managed to entice a number of knitting friends to join me in making this lovely lacy-cardi-wrap-shawl thingy - featured on the cover of Interweave Crochet, Fall 2011 issue.

The fact that it is an advanced pattern, apparently not well written, and I had only rudimentary crochet skills didn't seem to be such a big mountain to climb! Pish-Tish! It was just a hook and some yarn! I certainly could manage this! How hard could it be?

(no laughing here, please)

So we launch a Crochet-A-long within my knitting group. I provided the pattern and the enthusiasm and everyone provided ... well, they provided everything else. As you would expect, all the crochet-ers, moved forward confidently and productively, many crochet discussions evolved filled with crochet jargon, various yarn comparisons were made, hooks sizes were discussed, gauge samples were shared, a luncheon was scheduled to launch the project and we were off and running!!

Well, most of us were off ... I was staggering way behind the pack - cheering folks on, of course, but displaying no idea whatever of what I was doing!

Yeah Team!!! Go, go, go ...

... ah ...

... excuse me ...

What exactly is a single crochet?

Oh yes, I remember now.

And how do you make a double crochet?

... hmmm ...

I think I can do that.

How do I "read" the stitches I have made in the first row

so I can do the second row?

Thankfully my knitting circle is made up of many generous folks ... talented knitters and crocheters who don't mind me sitting beside them each (and every) time I start another crochet row (questions, questions), who don't mind explaining to me for the umpteenth time were to put that first stitch in the row.

Friends are like that.

Now I am not relying totally on the kindness of my friends.

I have a book!

It has great illustrations.

I have yarn - great yarn!

I have brand new crochet hooks. Dig the fancy case.

And I have a gauge swatch - well it will be a swatch when it gets a little bigger.

And I have a magnificent helper!

He knows alllll about crocheting.

"Smells like good crochet to me, Grandma.

But you really can't tell anything until you lick it."

What I don't have is skill,

knowledge,

understanding,

confidence,

and experience ...

in crochet!

Now I know how it feels to be a beginning knitter.

Now I know how it feels to be in a foreign country,

and everyone speaks crochet

and you speak knitting.

Now I know.

Through My Care Giver Eyes - Survivors

A chapter is closed on my care giving journey and another one is opening.

Mom has successfully moved into Assisted Living. She thinks of her new space as "home." Staff and residents all report that she is a happy and pleasant person. She seems to enjoy her life, her activities, and her visitors.

She is settled.

I am settled as well. Her successful adjustment made my own adjustment so much easier. It is another little gift my mom gave to me - adjusting well so that I could finally let go.

And so I am closing out this thread of care giving blog postings with a reflection on Survivors.

Thinking back over the last 5 1/2 years and even further back, I can see that Mom and I are both survivors.

Mom has survived and recovered from so much over the course of her life. Knowing that she experienced a difficult marriage for about 24 years, sensing her low self esteem and confidence at the time of my father's death, raising 2 daughters as well as she could - those early challenges created the mental fortitude of a survivor even before I became her caregiver.

The last aging years of illness, disabilities and difficult recoveries revealed much about her. Losses continued to slip away - physical mementos of a life actively lived, declining health, reduced independence, and the loss of memories - those losses run very deep.

Loss in Assisted Living can also be seen. Although I visit her about 4 times a week and she is more actively engaged in social experiences, she has less regular contact with her family. The risks in this elder setting are "out of sight - out of mind" for her family.

And let's not forget ... she has survived me! She has survived the reality of having a daughter become a care giver.

For myself, five years of care giving and dealing with the many extraneous stressors that surrounded that role - changed who I am, how I approach life, and, sadly, hardened my soul a bit.

I've learned a lot about myself in this passage. I have learned

• to essentially listen to my own conscious - and shut out the voices of others who would do it different and who saw my path as somehow flawed. To know that my own experiences and decisions have validity and that there is no one right way to do anything.
• to accept the natural losses of the very aged, to not impose my on agenda on the natural aging decline that always wins in the end. Yes, keeping fit and active are important goals for quality of life, but once the path of life is chosen by the very old, accepting that decision is an honorable and respectful choice.
• to personally let go and change direction when all other options are exhausted.
• to go from daughter to caregiver, and then back again to daughter.
• to accept I am not always a kind and considerate person - something I valued in myself for as long as I can remember.
• to accept the losses I have personally experienced - losses that are best left unsaid.

I suspect am not done learning either.

So this chapter closes for me now. The primary care giver has receded. I am once again a daughter. Our relationship has flourished with friendship. I see her regularly and we talk by phone. It is almost like it was before she moved into my house. Almost ... except that the litany of losses still remain for both of us, but so do the survivors!

And, Mom, you may be more "out of sight" than before, but you are seldom "out of mind" for me. You are much loved in my heart!

Retired Knitter

Daughter