Lesson Learned #3 - Over stuffed?

  I've spent many precious life hours over the last 10 years moving stuff out of my house.  

In the last year, the highway of departing clutter has become an absolute speedway.  

Here is a lesson I have learned in the process.

Lesson Learned #3:

Live with less stuff than your house can hold.

I have never been a big proponent of Rental Storage Units. This lesson has not been learned from actual experience - just common sense.

Yes, these rental storage units serve a short list of purposes.  Temporary storage of household goods between moves or inventory storage for small businesses are two examples that quickly come to mind.  I bet you could suggest a few other good uses as well.

But too often families use these units for years to store household items they cannot contain in their home.  Apparently the need for external storage is a growing trend because the sprouting of "You Store It" buildings continues to grow.  If there wasn't a demand for this kind of storage, the buildings of this type wouldn't be built.

It boggles my mind that folks pay money for these units every month for years to store personal stuff - stuff they don't use and probably don't remember they have.  It is an over-stuffed life for sure.

I also scratch my head when I drive by a house with cars that are always parked outside of full garages. Now I am not talking about garages that function extensions of living space - like a place for large exercise equipment or an expansive tool collection with workbenches ... those changes make sense.  People actually use this space.   But folks who leave vehicles ($$$) outside and use their garage as storage for old bikes, boxes of broken and/or discarded toys, old unused refrigerators, old unused kitchen cabinets, party decorations from last New Years, an old kitchen chair with the broken leg, trash, and the like ...  so that there is no room for their cars - well, the garage is protecting the wrong stuff.

We have never had a garage or a storage unit.  But about 5 years ago we were floating in a sea of our stuff, my mom's stuff, other inherited stuff and there wasn't one space that was open.  My husband causally suggested that maybe we should rent a storage unit for a while - just to give us some breathing room.

Imagine ... paying for breathing room.

We did not get that storage unit.  What I did do was reorganize stuff and buy more things like containers to snuggly store our stuff into our current space, giving us the sense of breathing room.  Not actual breathing room, you understand!  Just the appearance of breathing room.

Ha!

Lesson Learned #2 - Stuff and your heart

  I've spent many precious life hours over the last 10 years moving stuff out of my house.  

In the last year, the highway of departing clutter has become an absolute speedway.  

Here is a lesson I have learned in the process.

Lesson Learned #2

Keep the stuff that speak to your heart.

My mother was raised in a family where a Hope Chest was part of her preparation for marriage.  Knowing some of my mom's history, that hope chest probably represents a happy time for her - a time when she was preparing for marriage to my father.

 Little could she guess that happiness with my father would be in short supply.  Although my dad was a charming, handsome and loving man, he was also sick with alcoholism, and when under its influence, he was none of those things.  He died in 1970 and I have many bad memories of him, but I also have many wonderful ones.  The fact that this balance still exists so clearly in my mind ... and I still love him ... is tribute to the wonderful man he was while sober.


But mom's cedar hope chest was "born" at a time prior to that marriage.  In my mind and heart her chest represents the beautiful and smart young woman she was then - with dreams of happiness and family

 

During my clean out, I unearthed mom's cedar chest in her former bedroom closet.  It had been buried  under all her stuff while she lived in my home, and under all my yarn after she moved into Assisted Living.  I knew this chest needed to be out where I could enjoy it and use it.

As you can see, it has wear - and some damage - but plenty of beauty.  I feel in my heart this chest mirrors how my mom's life turned out.  Much wear, some damage, total beauty.

Because I miss my mom every single day, I want her chest to be part of my everyday life - to help me remember what a wonderfully strong and caring woman she was, how her life started out with hope, and the tarnish of her marriage didn't destroy the underlying strength of who she was.

Her chest is now open to the air and loved again but this time by her daughter.

In this marathon event of seeking to have less but enjoy what remains more ... questions remain.

• Do I need a chest?  No.
• Is need and function the only qualities to consider when de-cluttering your life?  No.
• Will I use and love this piece of furniture all the days of my life?  Yes.

It stays.

Lesson Learned #1 - Good Stuff Bad Stuff

  I've spent many precious life hours over the last 10 years moving stuff out of my house.  

In the last year, the highway of departing clutter has become an absolute speedway.  

Here is a lesson I have learned in the process.

Lesson Learned #1

Not all stuff is bad stuff!

While reading about minimal life styles and the joys of "less is more," you can get swept up by the hype.  Some self identified simplification gurus put a high premium on getting your possessions down to the bare minimum ... being able to contain all your belongings is your car ... or the joys of brushing your teeth with soap ... or having empty surfaces and shelves throughout your living space.

I have a much more middle-of-the-road picture of minimalism..

I have had a decent life where disposable income was the norm.  My husband and I had a broad range of interests and hobbies.  We enjoyed collecting stuff around those pursuits.  In some regards, we still do.

But over time we packed away many of our passions.  Sometimes we no longer enjoyed the ownership of an item, but it wasn't junk so we just boxed it up and forgot about it.  Usually we didn't have space to display everything that 45 years of marriage could produce.  Or our tastes changed and our interests evolved.  On we moved to the next endeavor.  Do you recognize yourself anywhere in that description?

One remarkable side benefit of diving deep into your stored belongings is a discovery of a long forgotten treasure that you forgot you owned.

This chess set is one such item.

My husband collected chess sets.  We must have 15 of them.  This was not a cheap hobby.  Most of the sets we purchased were several hundred dollars.  But over time we packed them away.

This beautiful hand carved and painted Camelot Chess set was created by a wood carver called Whittle Works.  Holy Cow!  These figures haven't seen the light of day in probably 15 years.

Gosh!  I still love these!!  Why the heck aren't they out where I can enjoy them? Well, they are now out.  I will tell you why they weren't out.  The set was "out of sight out of mind" in a box buried deeply behind a bunch of bad stuff I didn't care one twit about and now does not live here anymore.

Some minimalist minded folks would question keeping this chess set.  They would ask:

• Have you touched this item in the last year?  No.  Not touched or seen in the last 15 years.
• Do you enjoy playing chess?  No.  I am an embarrassingly bad player.
• Will you play chess with it in the future?  No.  Not my game.  I prefer Checkers.
• Do you find beauty or get enjoyment out of this set?  Yes!  End of Story.

So, there you go.  

The chess set stays.  

The bad stuff goes.

Miss Minimalist

As a blogger, it should be no surprise that I follow a few other bloggers.  And lately I have reduced my blog list considerably.  In fact, I have stopped using my on line blog catcher and just subscribe to blogs using the email option.

Keeping the lists of subscribed blogs small has been part of my "smaller is better," "less is more" change of heart over the last few years.  One blog has been helpful in inspiring me in this direction.

Miss Minimalist

Living a beautiful life with less stuff

This blogger and the book she wrote on this subject have been featured in many well known news vehicles such as CNN, BBC, NBC Today, Forbes ... just to name a few.  Certainly there are a large number of excellent web resources on simplifying and minimalism, but Miss Minimalist seems closest to my own middle-of-the-road mindset on the subject.

There is one feature I really enjoy.  Each Monday she posts a piece contributed by various followers about their journey to reducing stuff and adopting minimalism.  I love reading about others and the paths they chose for their lives - even if I wouldn't necessarily follow in all their foot steps.  It is amazing how many ways you can approach the minimalist life style.

Today I noticed her post was about moving from one residence to another with a minimalist mindset.  How timely!  We have been contemplating the wisdom of making a move to a smaller more senior friendly place the last few months.  That decision is still a big question mark for us.

However, as I am cleaning out my own abode - I kept these thoughts in the back of my mind ...

• Have I used this item in the last year?
• Would I keep this item if I were moving next week?
• Would I pay money to pack, transport, and unpack this item?  
• Would this item be worth the time to wrap and box up ... and unbox and use in a new home?  

If the answer was "no" to any of these questions ... why would I bother keeping it now?  I have my hands on this item right now.  Does it make sense to keep it and face this decision again at a time when I am actually moving?  Why table this action to discard an item to a time when the stress of an actual move would weigh me down with all the stuff I kept today? And even if I don't move ever again, is it fair to leave this task to the loved ones I leave behind?

I will say that going through this downsizing process has been exhausting.  I typically spend about 3 or 4 hours a day working through our possessions, touching and deciding the fate of each item, and then I am just too tired to continue.  I don't make good decisions when I am too tired.  After about 4 weeks of working through this, I am glad I have the luxury to spread it out over time and do it right.  I am very glad I am not facing a pending move with the deadline of a mover's truck at the end of the line.  Now there is a nightmare in the making.

If you are going through a similar stage in life - desiring "less is more" - then check out the blog Miss Minimalism.  Take the time to window shop through her site.  Pick and choose the topics that interest you.  See if it doesn't crystalize your thoughts about stuff ... and how you want to live with yours.

I am currently reading her book, The Joy of Less.  I have found that books on simplification and  minimalism run "hit or miss."  Sometimes it is just a rehash of what you logically already know or what you have read a bunch of times elsewhere.  And to be fair, learning to live more minimally only happens if you can consistently take the actions to make it so.  There is no substitute for changing behavior.  Just reading about it - isn't enough.  These are hard lessons I struggle with regularly.  I will say, however, this book is highly rated on Amazon and so far I would agree with those ratings.  I will report back when I finish the book.

Dust of Ages ... and ages ... and ages ...

Dear Blog Friends,

Just when I think I'm done with blogging, I get another push to write and bore you to death with all my life "adventures."  Hopefully you aren't bored to actual death, as that reduces the number of readers significantly.  And I will admit that "adventures" is a stretch for my life right now.

Since visiting with you last I have not been idle.  In fact, I have been busy to the point of exhaustion as of late.

Over the last 8 years, my caregiver focus has been almost totally aimed at my mom.  After her passing in December, it took awhile to get my "sea legs" back.  As the list of mom related to-dos dwindled, I had trouble focusing that "caregiver laser-beam" on anything else.  I was adrift.  I felt like a gang leader without a gang!

(Can you tell I have been watching the violent TV series Sons of Anarchy?

  ... which by the way is pretty great!  Sort of like The God Father, but not.)

In the last month a major shift of energies and focus blossomed out of me.   Hmm ...  I guess it was more of an volcanic eruption, than the blossoming.

I finally focused my "laser-beam" around my own house and decided  -

Not . Good . Enough .

• Too much stuff.
• Too much furniture.
• Some areas not painted in over 20 years.
• Some possessions not touched about 10 years.
• Some possessions overdue a transition to the dump, or Good Will, or to another home.
• Some repairs and renovations ignored or lived around for way to long.
• Some items not even mine, for gosh sake.  
• It is stifling.
• It weighs me down.

Not . How . I . Want . To . Live!!

We did some stuff last summer - hardwood flooring and some painting ... but real issues still remained.  So I pulled up my big girl panties and put on rubber gloves - and attacked the real issues of my home head on.  

The Goal

I want to live lighter ... with less stuff ... with only the things that I love. 

I want space around me and around the things that I love.

Like a ball and chain,
I don't want to drag along possessions on the assumption that maybe, possibly,
 I might need them at some indefinable point in the future.

I want to adopt the life style attitude now of "less is more."  

When it is time to move to a smaller more senior friendly environment,
I want to be ready.

  And when my time on this earth is done, 

I don't want my kids to left with a house full of dusty junk to manage and/or discard.

Now I am on a first name basis with the dump guy, a healthy contributor to our local Good Will organization, and many worthy former belongings are now loved by others in their houses.   Summed up at least 40% of our stuff-occupants no longer reside in this house.  

We . Have . Breathing . Room!!

And the odyssey is not over yet.  In the near-future ...

• Some cocky "stuff-occupants" that made the first cut this go-round, won't be living here come the New Year.  As my husband noted just this morning ... "It is amazing but despite the mountain of stuff we have moved out of the house, we STILL have a lot of stuff."    Not for long, Kemosabe. Not for long!
• Our kitchen will get a major face lift this summer.

Oh ... and there is less dust as well.

My Boys

Here is a picture of my boys, the cats that share our house with my husband and I.

As you can see, they are brothers.  In fact, in the dark sometimes it is hard to tell them apart.  Wally is in the front, and he is pretty much my cat.  Max is behind and he has bonded with my husband.  Max is also the cat who has had degenerative kidney disease (since the age of 3) and we have been giving him subq fluids to combat that condition for 6 years - every other day - and will continue to do so for the rest of his life.  It is what keeps him alive.  

What is remarkable about this picture is the following:

• They are both sitting on the couch with me.  They seldom do that - mostly because our house is usually occupied with 1 to 3 dogs.  When the guest dogs are in residence, our cat-boys pretty much stick to the upstairs.  They do make occasional appearances on the first floor, but never so relaxed.
• They are sitting side-by-side - almost touching.  When we got this pair, we were looking for a bonded pair.  Our last set of cats had decided to dislike each other and it was an armed camp for several years.  Once burned, we did not want to live like that again.  We wanted the next set of cats to already get along.  We figured brothers who were already friends would work.  And it does, usually.  They play together, they don't fight with each other, but they don't sleep together or groom each other as truly bonded animals sometimes do.  No matter, sometime they "accidentally" find themselves sitting together ... making it worth the picture!!

I love these two gentle souls.  They are pretty adaptable having lived around dogs all their lives.  

It is nice spending time with them alone - without the competition of the 3 grand dogs who think they own the place!!  It is because of my desire to honor their rights to our bed and our bedroom, that when the dogs come to visit, I do not sleep in my bed.  I sleep on the pull out couch or in the guest room in the basement with the canines.   

Sometimes I miss my bed, but for these sweet feline faces, I am happy to sleep elsewhere so they can rest comfortably on the second floor when the canine invasion is raging!! 

After all, these boys are mine and this is their home, and the grand dogs are visitors and are borrowed! 

Insanity is ...

"Insanity: 

doing the same thing over and over again

 and expecting different results."

  Albert Einstein

Oh, Albert, how true this statement is.

I do some of my best thinking on my walks.  I wonder if Mr. Einstein was a walker.

It occurred to me today as I walked that I am moving away from previous insanities.  That is not to say that my old habits were wrong or defective in some way.  No, it just means that methods I used previously never seemed to endure or make lasting improvements for me.  And yet I always fell back on using them when I was "starting over" in my quest to improve my health.  

It was a kind of insanity.

For example: In the past, I diligently recorded exercise statistics:  activities, frequency, repetitions, durations, etc.  It fit my nature to do this, and I assumed it kept me engaged in exercise.  Funny, but the "engaged" part never seemed to last as long as I wanted. 

Today while walking I reflected that I felt pretty good.  The distance, time and speed didn't really matter to me.  What counted was the feedback I was getting from my body that said:  "enjoying the walk, keep doing this till you are ready to stop, and then repeat again soon."  Right then I decided to stop record keeping on my calendar (my history of what I had done) and consider the activity as "money in the bank" for the future - improving my freedom of movement for longer into my aging with every step I took.  

The change of focus was the difference between looking behind at the past and seeing ahead into the future.

I realized the same was true for my stretching/yoga moves.  My body had some stiffness from yesterday's practice that I knew would be relieved by more practice.  In fact, I was eager to get those tiny improvements in flexibility later today ... "banking" those improvements so that my future flexibility would keep me moving and nibble. 

So I am leaving behind an insanity and hopefully finding a lifestyle.  

Only time will tell.

The only objective indicator I am using now is the step count on my FitBit.  The step count proves I am moving enough each day to avoid some of the bad things in life.  My goal is still 10,000 steps average per day.  Sometimes I get 10,000 steps through my walks, and sometimes I reach the goal through activities in the house.  No matter how I get them, it is movement!  And movement is one of those "magic pills of health" that everyone looks for but many refuse to recognize.  The FitBit and me are Buds!! 

Hope you approve, Mr. Einstein.