Thursday, May 26, 2016
Meeting With The Agent
We like our agent! It was a good decision to change agents. The first gentleman was nice, but I couldn't help feeling he was focused on a different element of the market than we were.
Our third meeting with the new agent went well this week. The walk-through of our property was simplified by the fact we will not be residing in the house when it is shown. So our "punch list" should be short.
But during our talk I was caught unexpectedly by an emotion that I have kept under control.
He said our house would show very well in the pictures and in person. Our care and improvements will make for an easy showing. Then he said that the brochure they would create would also look great.
Something about having our house shown in a brochure made the emotion of leaving this place suddenly rise to the surface. I responded, that I would try not to cry when he created that brochure. He glanced at me and paused for a moment. He then gracefully shifted his gaze and commented that a move like this after 30 years is hard - so much life has occurred here - and your obvious care of the property shows just how hard it will be.
I could feel my eyes tearing up and my throat tighten. I couldn't speak.
He quickly went on to describe the house he and his wife had lived in and had 6 kids in - 1100 square foot rancher. He talked about how it felt to keep that house, but rent it to strangers. That his son still cuts the grass for that property. That he only rented to those he trusted, but still had attachments. And so on and so on.
While he talked I had a chance to get control of my emotions. I was grateful.
We moved on.
Our third meeting with the new agent went well this week. The walk-through of our property was simplified by the fact we will not be residing in the house when it is shown. So our "punch list" should be short.
But during our talk I was caught unexpectedly by an emotion that I have kept under control.
He said our house would show very well in the pictures and in person. Our care and improvements will make for an easy showing. Then he said that the brochure they would create would also look great.
Brochure!!
Something about having our house shown in a brochure made the emotion of leaving this place suddenly rise to the surface. I responded, that I would try not to cry when he created that brochure. He glanced at me and paused for a moment. He then gracefully shifted his gaze and commented that a move like this after 30 years is hard - so much life has occurred here - and your obvious care of the property shows just how hard it will be.
I could feel my eyes tearing up and my throat tighten. I couldn't speak.
He quickly went on to describe the house he and his wife had lived in and had 6 kids in - 1100 square foot rancher. He talked about how it felt to keep that house, but rent it to strangers. That his son still cuts the grass for that property. That he only rented to those he trusted, but still had attachments. And so on and so on.
While he talked I had a chance to get control of my emotions. I was grateful.
We moved on.
Oh my God.
This won't be easy.
How will I ever get through the settlement process!
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Sliding towards less
While I am not qualified to speak on the topic of minimalism, it does feel like I am slipping towards a "less" style of living. Setting aside the downsizing efforts needed to move, getting less stuff off my radar always makes me feel better. I've done this many times, but not so drastically as this time.
For the most part, I can't remember the bulk of what I have carried out the door. Obviously if I can't remember that mountain of stuff, it was not important. It was taking up space in my world and robbing my attention and energy.
But the remembered list of discarded things is considerable AND remarkable for many reasons. It totally astounds me how much we held onto - long beyond our interest in them. Passions from 20 or 30 years ago that we lost interest in and just boxed away. Hobbies and past times my husband could no longer enjoy because he could not see. Sentimental items that lingered because we could not let go of the emotion attached to them. Valuable items we never touched much less saw for years and years.
Here is a brain dump of the remembered stuff that is living with new owners.
For the most part, I can't remember the bulk of what I have carried out the door. Obviously if I can't remember that mountain of stuff, it was not important. It was taking up space in my world and robbing my attention and energy.
But the remembered list of discarded things is considerable AND remarkable for many reasons. It totally astounds me how much we held onto - long beyond our interest in them. Passions from 20 or 30 years ago that we lost interest in and just boxed away. Hobbies and past times my husband could no longer enjoy because he could not see. Sentimental items that lingered because we could not let go of the emotion attached to them. Valuable items we never touched much less saw for years and years.
Here is a brain dump of the remembered stuff that is living with new owners.
- Doll house and all the doll house furniture - this all went back to the original owner, my daughter and pictures of that lovely hobby were featured here. It is the one thing if she simply didn't want it any more, I would take back.
- Stamp Collection - valued at over $80,000 at one time.
- Huge board game collection
- Vast library of books - near a thousand at one point when my husband could read
- Miniature hand painted soldiers - over 300 miniatures, many were museum quality
- Themed chess sets - 10 or 11 in all
- German imported nut crackers - 22 in all
- Furniture - 2 chests of drawers, 2 benches, a full size freezer, 2 desks, a head board - that was just in the last 3 months - many more pieces in the last year.
- Kitchen stuff - mugs, good china, Kitchen aide food processor, about 40 cookbooks (a ridiculous number for a person who doesn't want or like to cook)
- Crafts - spinning wheel, yarn, about 25 books, yarn
- My work clothes are gone, boxes and boxes of shoes are gone - mostly because my sad old feet can wear only about 3 pairs without pain.
That list makes me a little breathless. The money we spent. Yes, we did get enjoyment at the time but really ... the space and energy it subtracted from our lives over years exceeds the balance of enjoyment we got for a short time. Too bad I can't send a message back to my younger self and say "STOP! You won't really care about this stuff for most of your life!"
Well ... I still care about that doll house and my yarn, but everything else, not so much.
And still stuff remains .... photo albums and pictures I will keep because they spark precious memories. I still have a lot of clothes. Guess I will need to check out condition and size. Our pantry is shrinking ... the thought crossed my mind more than once over the years that I may be a food hoarder. At least all the expired foods are gone :-) and I check the pantry before I shop. Ha! There is a roughed in closet with storage items (Christmas, lamps, picture frames, ladder, shovels, etc) that has yet to be explored. I bet I have weed killer from 1999. And my yarn room. *sigh* I have given away some yarn to various folks and about half my pattern books. I could still knit until I was 97 without buying even one skein of yarn and never run out. Here there is no doubt ... I am a card carrying hoarder of yarn. I think I will happily hold on to that title until I take my last breath.
Interestingly enough, ongoing stuff reduction seems to have unintentionally spilled over into other areas of my life.
For example:
Interestingly enough, ongoing stuff reduction seems to have unintentionally spilled over into other areas of my life.
For example:
I have long since given up a wide array of cosmetics, perfumes and lotions. My approach to personal appearance is simple - this is me, the way God made me and life changed me. My gray hair and wrinkles have been well earned. I wouldn't think of hiding them. I am happy with myself the way I am. All I really need is a blow drier and hair brush, moisturizer, lip gloss, a splash of blush, enough sleep to keep the circles from my eyes and a smile! I hope all that counts as graceful aging instead of laziness. Ha.
I have never been a big jewelry person but I did have a few pieces that were special. I gave away some to family, kept a few, but only wear my wedding ring now. I don't even wear earings in my pierced ear lobes. My, how times have changed.
My personal schedule is much reduced. I used to enjoy many social obligations and organized groups that used my talents. I don't get the energy or enjoyment I used to from that busy schedule. Now I limit myself to fewer external ongoing commitments and look forward them more because they are not squeezed into an over committed calendar. I am happy with my own company, my family and close friends. I don't seek out more just because I have time for more.
I have never been a big jewelry person but I did have a few pieces that were special. I gave away some to family, kept a few, but only wear my wedding ring now. I don't even wear earings in my pierced ear lobes. My, how times have changed.
My personal schedule is much reduced. I used to enjoy many social obligations and organized groups that used my talents. I don't get the energy or enjoyment I used to from that busy schedule. Now I limit myself to fewer external ongoing commitments and look forward them more because they are not squeezed into an over committed calendar. I am happy with my own company, my family and close friends. I don't seek out more just because I have time for more.
Sliding towards less ...
a good thing.
Monday, May 23, 2016
My Life List
I follow the blog Smidgens, Snippets and Bits. I found Paula when she was a caregiver for her husband who has since passed away. I was caring for my mom at the same time and my mom passed away several months after her husband. She and I had a lot in common.
She has a fun blog, and you should check her out. One post she offers with regularity is a "My Life List." As I read through her recent list, I realized that my own responses to her prompts jump out of my mind too. Although she started this practice as a link to A Simple Woman's Daybook blog, she decided to break away from that format. Her own format is relaxed - no strict rules about entries or prompts, no linking to other blogs, just a way to share short bursts of your own life as it suits you. I loved the idea of it and have decided to "steal" (translation - join) her idea. Knowing Paula, it will make her smile.
I am thankful ...
... for the continued thread of connectivity and friendship I have with blog friends who have traveled with me since this blog was created in 2009. So much has changed, so many hurdles leaped. And yet, here we still are together.
Looking out my window ...
... I see green. I am so fortunate to have a green back drop to my townhouse. Yes, I have neighbors attached to me on either side, but when I look out my back windows it is like looking into a small forest of green. Deer frequently visit that hill of green and you don't need binoculars to see them ... I am that close. Sometimes they sit on that hill (they think they are hidden) and I can watch them. Mom used to love that. I will miss this view when I move.
As I ponder ....
... the next 15 years. Yes, in only 15 years I will be 84. Seems almost impossible, that so much time of my life is behind me and that I will be an old woman by anyone's definition in 15 short years. I am not sure I would think about this next stage of life it I hadn't watched an elderly person walk through it while living in my home. That realization is less a theory and more a reality once you have had the experience. It is much like the young person at 25 who knows if they live long enough they will be a very very old person at 50, (ha), but really doesn't believe it so it is more theoretical - and yet as you get closer to 50 you start to believe it as reality (except 50 doesn't feel "very very old.")
What I am learning ...
.... patience! Patience, patience and more patience. I thought I had learned all there was about patience in taking care of my mom, but I find the well of patience I still need to learn continues to grow in taking care of my husband with his increasing visual impairment. Being his eyes is a daily - sometimes hourly - task. I push back frequently in many small ways to encourage independence, but it is like pushing a boulder up hill. And he is a person with little patience - has been all his life, so the frustration he feels is so great with this limitation - and the sorrow I feel knowing this sometimes brings tears to my eyes. In writing this, I realize that maybe what I need to be doing is teaching him patience. Hmmm ....
What I am reading ...
I am almost always "reading" two books.
I am listening to The Sound of Glass by Karen White.
I am reading on my Kindle Treasure of Darkness by S. W. Hubbard
What I am creating ....
I am working on two shawls. Pictures to follow in another post. All my other fiber projects are packed away so that the house looks tidy and uncluttered for a potential sale.
What I am watching ...
Season four of House of Cards - Oh, my God, these people are so despicable. And I wonder at myself that I can't stop watching that show. Ha!
What's on my camera phone ...
I have been helping my husband to set up a new iMac computer. In doing that I took two pictures of our personal wall paper from the old iMac. The first picture is my wall paper of a flower filled with color and shades of pink. The second picture is my husbands wall paper. Color has no meaning for him. He needs contrast and bold lines - and with these changes he can see only parts. We can't look through his eyes, but these images sort of demonstrates the scope of what he dealing with. These pictures make me sad.
A quote I want to share ...
One day she finally grasped that unexpected things were always going to happen in her life. And with that she realized the only control she had was how she chose to handle them. So she made a decision to survive using courage, humor and grace. She was the Queen of her own life and the choice was hers! Luputha Hermin
I have a ways to go before I am using courage, humor and grace.
A peek into my week ...
This week we meet with our new real-estate agent for a final walk through of our property, to get a final punch list of changes needed so we are ready to sell this property if something shows up on the market for us to buy. We will also sign the contract with him. And my regular schedule of dogs visits starts up again mostly because the puppy needs a break mid-day to peep and have his lunch.
Word of the year update ... Move!
Well, my word for the year is "move" and I guess it still fits. I planned it to mean keep my body moving. Turns out it is more like "move" all your worldly possessions somewhere else! Yikes. How did that happen. My "move" exercise efforts are still struggling. By the time I get done with my "move" all your worldly possessions efforts, I am bushed. I guess moving is moving regardless of how it happens. But now that my downsizing efforts have slowed, my exercise efforts need to pick up.
Well, there you have it! I think it is a fun exercise and it hits the high (and low) points of my life today. Enjoy.
She has a fun blog, and you should check her out. One post she offers with regularity is a "My Life List." As I read through her recent list, I realized that my own responses to her prompts jump out of my mind too. Although she started this practice as a link to A Simple Woman's Daybook blog, she decided to break away from that format. Her own format is relaxed - no strict rules about entries or prompts, no linking to other blogs, just a way to share short bursts of your own life as it suits you. I loved the idea of it and have decided to "steal" (translation - join) her idea. Knowing Paula, it will make her smile.
My Life List Currently:
I am thankful ...
... for the continued thread of connectivity and friendship I have with blog friends who have traveled with me since this blog was created in 2009. So much has changed, so many hurdles leaped. And yet, here we still are together.
Looking out my window ...
... I see green. I am so fortunate to have a green back drop to my townhouse. Yes, I have neighbors attached to me on either side, but when I look out my back windows it is like looking into a small forest of green. Deer frequently visit that hill of green and you don't need binoculars to see them ... I am that close. Sometimes they sit on that hill (they think they are hidden) and I can watch them. Mom used to love that. I will miss this view when I move.
As I ponder ....
... the next 15 years. Yes, in only 15 years I will be 84. Seems almost impossible, that so much time of my life is behind me and that I will be an old woman by anyone's definition in 15 short years. I am not sure I would think about this next stage of life it I hadn't watched an elderly person walk through it while living in my home. That realization is less a theory and more a reality once you have had the experience. It is much like the young person at 25 who knows if they live long enough they will be a very very old person at 50, (ha), but really doesn't believe it so it is more theoretical - and yet as you get closer to 50 you start to believe it as reality (except 50 doesn't feel "very very old.")
What I am learning ...
.... patience! Patience, patience and more patience. I thought I had learned all there was about patience in taking care of my mom, but I find the well of patience I still need to learn continues to grow in taking care of my husband with his increasing visual impairment. Being his eyes is a daily - sometimes hourly - task. I push back frequently in many small ways to encourage independence, but it is like pushing a boulder up hill. And he is a person with little patience - has been all his life, so the frustration he feels is so great with this limitation - and the sorrow I feel knowing this sometimes brings tears to my eyes. In writing this, I realize that maybe what I need to be doing is teaching him patience. Hmmm ....
What I am reading ...
I am almost always "reading" two books.
I am listening to The Sound of Glass by Karen White.
I am reading on my Kindle Treasure of Darkness by S. W. Hubbard
What I am creating ....
I am working on two shawls. Pictures to follow in another post. All my other fiber projects are packed away so that the house looks tidy and uncluttered for a potential sale.
What I am watching ...
Season four of House of Cards - Oh, my God, these people are so despicable. And I wonder at myself that I can't stop watching that show. Ha!
What's on my camera phone ...
I have been helping my husband to set up a new iMac computer. In doing that I took two pictures of our personal wall paper from the old iMac. The first picture is my wall paper of a flower filled with color and shades of pink. The second picture is my husbands wall paper. Color has no meaning for him. He needs contrast and bold lines - and with these changes he can see only parts. We can't look through his eyes, but these images sort of demonstrates the scope of what he dealing with. These pictures make me sad.
A quote I want to share ...
One day she finally grasped that unexpected things were always going to happen in her life. And with that she realized the only control she had was how she chose to handle them. So she made a decision to survive using courage, humor and grace. She was the Queen of her own life and the choice was hers! Luputha Hermin
I have a ways to go before I am using courage, humor and grace.
A peek into my week ...
This week we meet with our new real-estate agent for a final walk through of our property, to get a final punch list of changes needed so we are ready to sell this property if something shows up on the market for us to buy. We will also sign the contract with him. And my regular schedule of dogs visits starts up again mostly because the puppy needs a break mid-day to peep and have his lunch.
Word of the year update ... Move!
Well, my word for the year is "move" and I guess it still fits. I planned it to mean keep my body moving. Turns out it is more like "move" all your worldly possessions somewhere else! Yikes. How did that happen. My "move" exercise efforts are still struggling. By the time I get done with my "move" all your worldly possessions efforts, I am bushed. I guess moving is moving regardless of how it happens. But now that my downsizing efforts have slowed, my exercise efforts need to pick up.
Well, there you have it! I think it is a fun exercise and it hits the high (and low) points of my life today. Enjoy.
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
The Finish Line
I have finally gotten our worldly goods down to the basics for living in our townhouses. Trips to the dump and to Good Will have slowed. Yesterday several pieces of furniture where picked up and hauled away. Oh, there are still some small pockets of stuff I haven't finished getting through. But we are close. If were were to move now, of course, I am sure other things would not come with us because space in a two bedroom condo will be more limited.
But ... where to go. That question still haunts us.
Our search continues to limit us to elevator buildings or first floor units. We are further limited by location and condition. Not all locations are acceptable for a variety of reasons. But the issue of condition (how well maintained, how clean, appliance issues, etc. etc. etc.) still remains a large stumbling block for me. We are looking for a 'move-in-ready' property. My definition of move-in-ready, means that I can move in and not be faced with major condition expenses in the first year. Our house will be move-in-ready by my definition. In fact, it would be several years before someone would need to take action on anything ... unless they simply want to change the paint color, upgrade my new kitchen counters or purchase other appliances in a different color. I personally find those kinds of changes wasteful if the item functions well and is clean. But I understand about differences in taste. Some "move in ready" places, however, the appliances are so old and so dirty (and some have external damage) ... they would need to be replaced before I moved in.
I don't want people to think I am a persnickety housekeeper. My appliances are not always clean, for years I lived with clutter, some of my carpet is original, and many dust bunnys use this place as a postal address. But if I sell this townhouse, those short comings will not be someone else's problem. I'll take care of them before I show this house to perspective buyers.
In the two and a half months of condo searching ... and visiting a few properties that came close to what we were looking for, only two condos hit the market that were perfect and they were right in my neighborhood. Two units out of hundreds. They got snapped up quickly.
So my husband and I have started to qualify every moving conversation with the possibility that we will stay here. It would mean some major expenses to retro-fit this townhouse to be user friendly for seniors. Two stair lifts would be a very expensive addition to a house that is too big for us now. When you live in a 3 level town house and each level has things you use in daily living - it adds up to two stair lifts. But it is an option down the road.
Fall is the 'finish line' for us on moving. We can continue to live with uncertainty for that long. We can continue to expend the energy that is required on multiple levels to make a move happen until we reach the finish line. At the finish line, we will be in another abode ... or not! Either way, we are ok with it (cause I am not doing this again next year.)
We are lucky that either choice is a good one.
But ... where to go. That question still haunts us.
Our search continues to limit us to elevator buildings or first floor units. We are further limited by location and condition. Not all locations are acceptable for a variety of reasons. But the issue of condition (how well maintained, how clean, appliance issues, etc. etc. etc.) still remains a large stumbling block for me. We are looking for a 'move-in-ready' property. My definition of move-in-ready, means that I can move in and not be faced with major condition expenses in the first year. Our house will be move-in-ready by my definition. In fact, it would be several years before someone would need to take action on anything ... unless they simply want to change the paint color, upgrade my new kitchen counters or purchase other appliances in a different color. I personally find those kinds of changes wasteful if the item functions well and is clean. But I understand about differences in taste. Some "move in ready" places, however, the appliances are so old and so dirty (and some have external damage) ... they would need to be replaced before I moved in.
I don't want people to think I am a persnickety housekeeper. My appliances are not always clean, for years I lived with clutter, some of my carpet is original, and many dust bunnys use this place as a postal address. But if I sell this townhouse, those short comings will not be someone else's problem. I'll take care of them before I show this house to perspective buyers.
In the two and a half months of condo searching ... and visiting a few properties that came close to what we were looking for, only two condos hit the market that were perfect and they were right in my neighborhood. Two units out of hundreds. They got snapped up quickly.
So my husband and I have started to qualify every moving conversation with the possibility that we will stay here. It would mean some major expenses to retro-fit this townhouse to be user friendly for seniors. Two stair lifts would be a very expensive addition to a house that is too big for us now. When you live in a 3 level town house and each level has things you use in daily living - it adds up to two stair lifts. But it is an option down the road.
Fall is the 'finish line' for us on moving. We can continue to live with uncertainty for that long. We can continue to expend the energy that is required on multiple levels to make a move happen until we reach the finish line. At the finish line, we will be in another abode ... or not! Either way, we are ok with it (cause I am not doing this again next year.)
We are lucky that either choice is a good one.
Friday, May 6, 2016
One step back ...
We met with another agent from a different real-estate company who was recommended by my son. During our first meeting I felt more at ease about our decision to sell and move than I had during the last 10 months. I can't tell you what made the actual difference between the two agents, except to say that this new agent is focused on the general real-estate market - which we are stepping into with trepidation - and the other guy was focus on the 55+ senior market which we had decided against.
Maybe all the stars just aligned in the sky at the right time. Whatever the reason, we changed agents this week.
I will tell you this ... doing this whole process without an agent would make my head explode! I can't believe all the little twists and turns you go through to make a move like this. It is always making trade offs, deal making, massaging the numbers, exploring different options ... it is exhausting and stress filled stuff.
Why can't selling and buying real-estate be like buy a bathing suit. You go into the store, look at all the bathing suites on the rack, pick a size and color, try one on, you pick a bigger size (nuts), try on another one, you look for something that covers more of you, (decide you really must lose weight sometime soon - or stop using mirrors), you take it to the check out and pay for it. Then you can walk out of the store and put it on right away (ok, you find a private place to put it on right away so you don't get arrested.) Woo hoo! Done!
Ok, buying a bathing suit is almost as hard as buying real-estate.
*Sigh* This is bringing the crazy out in me!
Best to have the right agent so I won't go crazy.
Or should I say ... go more crazy than I already am! :-)
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Life goes on ...
Our family are devoted pet owners.
And "devoted" may be interpreted as obsessed.
We are truly obsessed with loving and sharing our lives with our furry family members.
Recently one family member, my Pug grand dog, Grimace, passed away.
We are still in mourning for that dear soul.
If we could somehow get him back whole and happy,
we would do it.
But life goes on ... each moment moves us in a different direction.
And there are so many sweet little fur faces out there.
Here is my son's next sweet little guy.
Meet my new grand dog baby!
He is an English Bull Dog who is about 8 weeks old. Right now his name is Sampson - the name the breeder gave him, but by Friday, the day my son picks him up, the name will be something else.
This little guy has wrinkles to spare and he has that wrinkly frowny face so typical of English Bull Dogs down pat already. No need to wait until he is 5 or 6 years old to see it evolve! We do love our smoosh face dogs. Ha!
My heart still breaks for my dear Grimace, but there is room for this little guy to find a place there and start setting down roots.
So meet my next heart break - 8 to 10 years out into the future.
They just don't live long enough!
How can you not love that face!
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