J - Juggling

J is for Juggling

If you are older, try to remember the many tasks your 25 year old self juggled in one day.   If you are still young - take a moment in your busy day to check out your future.  

Let see ... I pick a typical Friday when I was 25 years old, married, a grade school teacher and pregnant.  

Friday looked like this:

• Pop out of bed before 6 am
• Dress while sipping coffee (thankfully set up the night before.)
• Feed the cats before breakfast - Clean the litter.
• Feed myself breakfast standing at the counter making a bag lunch
• Make a quick grocery list for food shopping (budget for the week was $20, ha!)
• Quick review of Friday lesson plans 
• Commute to work
• Stop for weekly gas fill up on the way
• (We will skip the school day where I juggle the hundreds of things grade school teachers do in 8 hours.)
• Gather up next week's lesson plan materials and papers to grade. 
• Commute to grocery store - Fridays were food shopping day right after work - and stop by the liquor store to pick up some cheap wine fizzy something.  Liquor wasn't a no-no for a pregnant woman 45 years ago.
• Do a fast unpack of groceries, a quick clean up of the apartment upon getting home
• Fix dinner, eat quick, and clean up
• Prepare a few dips for chips and veggies for visiting Friday night friends.
• Slap out board games and snacks
• Grade a few papers while waiting for guests to arrive
• Entertain until say midnight
• Spot pick up after company leaves
• Set up the coffee for Saturday morning
• Hit the sack at 1:00-ish am.
• Inserts bunches and bunches of bathroom breaks in-between other things (remember - pregnant!)

Saturday

• Off and running again for weekend fun activities and school work prep.

This is the 72 year old me - trying to remember what the 25 year old me juggled 45 years ago.   Exhausting to my eye now - but I don't remember being all that tired then.

That was then!

Today!

Some demands are gone, of course, and some are changed - no job, no commute, not pregnant for sure.  Still married - however, husband is disabled (legally blind), and needs more assistance.  Today a 72 year old me might prepare for a Friday - with company like this.  

Wednesday (Yes, Wednesday!!  Give me a break - I am older.)

• First off, there is absolutely NO POPPING OUT OF BED on any day of the week!! 
• Make a list of everything I need to do - without the list I would just sit and knit or read.
• Vacuum and dust.
• rest
• Prepare the menu and grocery list for the next week and for Friday company.  This prep is exhaustive - checking cookbooks for recipes and reviewing grocery store sales.
• rest
• Cook Wednesdays dinner, eat and clean up.
• Assist husband with finding an item he has lost, or searching Amazon for something he wants to purchase, or sending an email on his behalf, or problem solving a computer issues he cannot find on the screen, or picking up prescriptions on his behalf. 

Thursday

• Food shop - this takes all morning now - no fast spin through the grocery store.  There is more checking for cheapest prices, reading food labels to insure a choice is healthy, doubling back to previous aisles to get things I missed the first time through. (Lots of doubling back.  Sigh.)
• Unpacking groceries and repacking certain items - freezing, labeling, reorganizing - making sure things are where my legally blind husband can find them independently.
• rest
• Begin to prepare food for Friday night company dinner.
• Order take out dinner - which I pick up because my husband doesn't drive.  Reality check:  No standing and cooking tonight's dinner after food shopping and cooking for the next day.  
• Assist husband again with something.

Friday

• Compete food prep for company
• rest
• Do a pick-up sweep through the house
• Do a liquor store run - for company and for us  - Yes, we have a nice cocktail once a day - one of the benefits of aging and not giving a sh*t.  (See?  It isn't all gloom and doom.)
• Clean the guest bathroom so it isn't a health risk, ha! (I don't think I ever worried about health risks at 25 - remember, young ... I was going to live forever!)
• rest
• Set out appetizers (now I call them appetizers instead of snacks 😝)
• Serve dinner and entertain until about 10:30 - fading out occurs about that time after company prep.
• Pick up after guests
• Collapse in bed around 11:00 pm

Saturday

• Recover!  Schedule nothing! 

So what lessons have I learned about juggling all the balls of life with this exercise?  

• Thank God I am not trying to juggle a job as well.  Yea!!! For Retirement!
• Lists were never part of my 25 year old life - my brain retained everything.  Everything I tell you!!   Today?  My brain still retains stuff like before, but the retrieval window is extremely short.
• I can't abuse my body by eating crap appetizers only!  We serve dinner.  (Sigh, those were the good old days, when dips and chips were good enough!!) 
• The cost of living is crazy more than almost 50 years ago.  Weekly food budget has increased from $20 to $120!!
• Question of the Day:  When do I get to retire from cooking dinner!!!  My next life: Marry a chef, who wants me out of "his kitchen.".
• Still taking lots of bathroom breaks - 72 years old, you know! 
• I remember laughing at my mom who would schedule exactly one thing a day on her event calendar!  One thing!!!  I couldn't imagine why!   

I get it now, mom. 

Sorry. 

I - Incentives

I is for Incentives

In our society where becoming a senior citizen is not a 'badge of honor,' how can businesses, vendors, governments and others demonstrate through action (rather than just words) a desire to respect the citizens who are now in their older years? I believe Incentives to make life easier for our seniors is one way to correct the current conception of seniors as some how - less - than everyone else.

Here are a few incentives that could be or have been made available to seniors.

• Shopping discounts - grocery stores, gym memberships, movie tickets, vacation travel, vehicle purchases.  These are good and probably available in some areas of the country already, but the efforts should not be limited to encouragements to spend money - which these are.

• More walking paths and side walks in communities.  I moved from a planned city into a local suburb - that isn't well planned.  I never ran out of side walks in my former neighborhood - I always run out in my current neighborhood.  This suggestion is good for all citizens.

• Book Mobiles to make regular visits to senior living facilities. When I was a kid, the Book Mobiles from local libraries visited our apartment development.  What a wonderful way of keeping the written word in communities where seniors frequent - thereby reaching some citizens who don't drive and don't have access to good public transportation.

• Hospitals could provide senior wings for the elderly. One hospital in a neighboring county has a senior wing!  I understand from others that it isn't well managed, but what a great idea.  

• Big Brother-like programs for seniors now in nursing homes - something like Adopt-a-Senior  or Adopt-a-Grandparent for local young families - expose children and seniors to each other.  Seniors often outlive many of their family support members and are isolated.  Children can be taught from a young age to enjoy and respect the elderly.  Both benefit from the effort.

• There are some rare nursing home and child care combinations in my state.  Expand that program.   The facilities are divided but connected for easy of visiting.  Managed well, this could be a boon to both age groups.

• Build more neighborhoods that allow for cross-generational residential structures.  More mother-in-law suites, more relaxed coding of land to allow for senior structures on family owned property.  Why not encourage the development of extended families!

• More volunteer and job opportunities for seniors - let those who want to work have an equal chance in the candidate selection process - age discrimination is against the law but humans are inventive creatures and can easily find ways around that law. 

We protect minorities, against sex discrimination and the disabled with laws. We encourage special incentives for active service members and veterans.  Why aren't seniors - who have lived and contributed for a life time - encourage and protected?

H - Hobbies

H is for Hobbies

 The most beautiful word in all of the English Language.

Knitting

So much of our lives are spent in doing stuff to make a living - a roof over our head, food on the table, heat, water, food, cell phones, TV, education for a child.  This list is exhaustive if carried to completion.  We are often tied to jobs/professions by our need to provide the basics and a few of the nice-to-haves.  A responsibility of sorts, an expectation of society that we are self-supportive ... not relying on the charity of others.

All of that eats up decades of our lives.

Weaving

How wonderful to FINALLY be in a position to do something for ourselves that feeds our souls, that doesn't have to be squeezed in between doing laundry or driving to work.

Maybe it is something that provides no practical outcome other than

• to make us or others smile like painting a picture or setting up miniature train layouts,
• to relax us with the repetition of the movement of our hands like knitting and crocheting, 
• to distract us by watching sporting events or reading a book, 
• to inspire us with music and theater and travel, 
• to give us joy and satisfaction through volunteering and mentoring.  

Crochet

How wonderful is the world with such non-essential activities in it!

How amazing it is to reach the time of life when you have the opportunity

to do those things full time!!!

I feel sadness for folks who express a serious concern about filling their time as retired individuals.  They typically are people who are defined by their professions.  They have allowed their lives to be jailed within the box of 'work' only.  Once retired by stepping out of that box, they are at a true loss at what to do with their own precious hours - hours now that have a more visible expiration date somewhere in the future.

A lace shawl I knitted for my daughter.

Is it possible that in their professional lives they never once day-dreamed about doing fun stuff - stuff that has no real useful purpose other than to give us joy?

I believe Habit (another H word) plays a big role in how we conduct our selves in later years.  Habit is a non-thinking, non-decision making behavior.  If you are in individual who habitually thought 'outside the box of work' and squeezed Hobbies into your precious non-work hours - you can slip into retirement more easily.  If you segmented your life into work-and-more work ... for years ... retirement will be an effort, an actual stressor, and a time of confusion or total inactivity.

A knitted shawl for myself.

Make room in your life for Hobbies now - whatever your age!
You are worth it!

If you have long retirement

you will be glad you made the effort.

Note: Yes, all the pictures of my work - knitting, crochet and weaving!

G - Grand Child

G is for Grand Child

ok, ok, ok

I know!!

Being a grand parent isn't a universal experience in life like aging!

You don't even need to be retired to become a grand parent!

But if you had a grand child like this one ...

Seriously ... 

wouldn't you take any excuse to show her off if she was your 

grand baby?

In addition, it shows off my knitting and crocheting projects - a hobby in retirement!!

Any excuse to show off this beautiful little person!

As long as I am a little bit off topic, let me share with you just how much of a miracle this little girl is to me.

I am the mother of two enormously wonderful and successful people: a son and a daughter.  I have always said - raising children is like walking through a mine field - some of us make it successfully and some of us don't.  I think I made it successfully.  

Through my kids adult years - having children of their own never seemed to be on their radar - at least not that they shared with me.  Both of them now are in their 40s.  The paths of their lives seem set - and I was content. They are happy, successful and responsible people.  What more could a mother want for her children. I accepted the fact that I would not be a grandmother.

When my son announced that he and wife were expecting a child - I remember initial feelings of disbelief, needing to take deep breaths, covering my face with my hands to absorb this new bit of unbelievable information in private - while tears began to form.  My God .. could this be happening!!

When this beautiful little person was born (and she was beautiful and very alert at birth) - all I could think of was ... There is a God and I guess I did something right in my 70 years on this earth!

Just learning to sit.  She was pleased with herself!

Eskarina is always fascinated with her granddad's glasses.
He is legally blind and wears them to control bright light situations.

Grand children are the icing on the cake of life!  

I was happy with just the cake.

I am thrilled beyond measure with the icing. 

Sunday Brain Dump: Walk, Tears, Comments

Sunday Brain Dump: Peeping Tom, Tears, Comments

W

I promised to swing back to the blog on Sundays (even though the A-2-Z Challenge skips Sundays),  to give a walking update!  I will give that update.  BUT ... I discovered that my fingers began itching to write about some non-Challenge topics.   I felt stifled ... like mouth gagged and hands tied because I already wrote and scheduled all these other posts!!!  

So it is Sunday and now that the gag is off - here is what came bubbling out:

W

Walking in My Neighborhood and the Peeping Tom

Think - hamster in a wheel.  

Think - treadmill without TV.
Think - circular track camouflaged as a neighborhood. 

Think - mental torture masquerading as a healthy activity.  

That is what walking in my immediate neighborhood is to me.  When I am desperate and time is short - I am left with no choice.

So here is what is good about my neighborhood walk:

• Safe - in a boring kind of way: no traffic, no scary people, no crime.
• No uneven surfaces.  I am not new to falling on public sidewalks.  Not a graceful fall either.  Pretty much a 'fall-flat-on-your-face" fall.  Not once unfortunately.  I can count 3 times.   On the up side - falling is never boring.
• Always available - even at night when it is dark - the boring areas is well lighted.
• Gently hilly.
• Neighbors/friends ... we visit.
• Can be interesting in a "peeping tom kind of way" - not that I walk up to windows and look in.    But if you have your blinds up, lights on, and it is night, guess what.  I can see in!  Really ... the walk is boring - nothing to see outside.  Inside views ... who knows.  Of course, there really is nothing to see inside either.  I live in a 55+ community, and we are not partying nude with loud music and mixed drinks!  But if there is something to see from the side walk, I will look. 

Here is what is bad about it:

• Boring.
• Very boring.
• Intensely boring (unless someone has their shades up, then it is only 'very boring.')

This unintentional walking track, however, is used by a lot of the residents.  One morning as I was getting into my car, I stopped a couple who regularly walks this route around the development.  I smiled and offered a casual greeting, "Nice morning for a walk!"  They agreed.  So I continued, "So how many times around do you go," thinking they probably didn't go this route for distance - just a few times around till their exercise time was up.  They quickly responded, "Nine times around is a mile."  Oh my.  They worked out the distance.  They knew exactly.  Okay, then!  And how boring - it was morning ... so peeping in windows for them!

I decided to skip my walking stats - except to say I have not yet reach 10,000 steps in one day.  That is actually my first goal.  There are other goals waiting in the wings - if I don't die before that.

I am adding some incentive to my steps by tracking them on the Walking4Fun website.  This site has a number of well known walking trails - one is the Appalachian Trail.  It tracks your step count against a number of well known walking trails - one being the Appalachian Trail.  Below is the map of the trail with the start marked with an S.  My marker is pretty much hidden by the start marker.  Guess I have just a few more steps to take before I even show up on the map!  Ha.

Walking4Fun - AP Trail

"Make the Babies Cry" Wednesday

Oh, so you didn't know there was such a day?  There is!

I visit my grand daughter in day care almost every Wednesday.

In the beginning she looked at me with that unblinking stare ... like she had never set eyes on me before.  Ok, I get it.  She isn't going to just give away smiley greetings (like some babies do) without you earning that smile.  I respect that!  She has standards.  I agree - you can't smile at every Tom, Dick or Harry that crosses your path!   Yea for a female who knows her own mind!!

Time passes, I see her most weekends.  I see her most Wednesdays.  She warms up after the initial visual assessment of my worth (like always), and we play and she smiles and laughs, and life is good.

About a month ago, I walked into day care - she took one look at me and her face resolved into red blotches, tears, and crying!   uh ... Okay ... so not exactly the welcome I was going for.  But after she pulled out of it, the visit was fabulous.  When I visit her house, or she visits my house - we have no tears. But ok. Maybe having a bad day in day care.

The next time I came - same reaction - only this time she gets her good friend, a little boy in her group, crying too. Now they both are crying.  And not just little whimpers - No, these are dramatic heart felt sobs, with head down to the floor in total despair.

Oh.My.God!  What ever could the care givers be thinking!!!

Seriously, folks.  I am not making this stuff up.

But, I am not an easy person to deter!  This is my grand baby - probably my only grand baby!!! I will persevere.  (Actually - stubborn and persistent is a good description.)

So last Wednesday I visited again.  By now I have labeled this day of the week, "Make the Babies Cry" Wednesday!!

I arrive at the day care and peek from the hallway into the infants room.  I see Eskarina standing in the middle of the room.  She is fine.  She spots me.  Nothing.  I enter.  Nothing.  I move closer - the face gets red, tears form, crying starts.  (In my brain: damn, damn, damn.).  I whip out my phone and take this picture:

 

*Sigh*

Thankfully it didn't last long and the caregiver didn't need to pick her up to comfort her.   She got control of herself and then I snapped this picture.

A slight improvement I guess.  I'll take thumb over tears.

We shortly got to this.  Much better.  The visit was successful.  

So mark your calendars folks, and remember me on "Make the Babies Cry Wednesdays" around 11:00 am - when I am out in day care making babies cry.  (See?  Retirement can be interesting.)


Commenting Drama

Finally, as regular readers know, I had problems with commenting on some blogs and some readers had problems commenting on my blog.  I made an adjustment to my browser and the problems are fixed - at least from my perspective.

The details of that problem and the fix - can be found at this location on my blog.  If you have similar problems, please check out my post and the link located within my post that instructs you on a possible correction.

The past week I changed my commenting feature back to Embedded Comments and Comment Moderation.  Responding to comment on my blog is easier with Embedded Comments and I really enjoy the 'conversation' with readers.  And I have noticed some other annoying problems as well (caused by trouble makers - with no life of their own except to cause problems for others)  - and I need to put back Comment Moderation.

Please send me an email if you are having problems leaving a comment on this blog.

Thanks all.