And still I am thankful. I have learned a lot about who I am. And I have learned to change my view of life.
- I managed to keep mom in my home for the most difficult year of both our lives.
- I lost a very close family relationship ... one that I thought would be with me until the day I died ... and discovered I could manage without her.
- I grew to realize I could not be "all" for my mom, that I had to let go, and give up her care to others more able to manage the challenge of her declining abilities.
- I said a quiet goodbye to a dear uncle and celebrated the wonderful life he lead and the family he left behind.
- I found unanticipated support and strength in friends who walked this path before me.
- I rediscovered the fact that I have the best kids in the entire world. I know this for a fact. Don't bother to argue with me.
It hasn't been the best year of my life and it may not be the worst - but it will probably count in the top 3 of worst years for sure.
You never really know how strong you are until you are tested. This year was nothing but a litany of tests. I passed a few, I bent under a few, and I probably failed a few. But I am glad to discover that I am still the same person, maybe stronger than I thought - someone who is surrounded by a loving family, who is living by her own judgements, and who despite the worst this life has dealt out to me thus far ... is still standing.