Observations of Living in a 55+ Community

Do you ever look back at a major life decision and wonder if you would have made the same decision if you had known then what you know now?

After 2 years of living in a 55+ community, I have made some interesting observations about this style of living and our decision to move here.

When this community was being built in 2007, it was a very popular option for interested seniors.  I understand from some original owners that there was a waiting list for units.  New owners initially fell between ages 55-65 ... younger seniors.  All moved in within a year or two of each other as the development was built.  All had similar motivations and were inspired to make this new style of living successful for themselves.  Newsletters, committees, social activities, and active board of directors (some report an over active board that ruled with an iron fist) were the norm.  Naturally there was an excitement in wanting to make your "new home" perfect.

That is what I briefly know about this communities early years!

I have impressions of how this community has changed over time and what it is now.

We moved into this condo when it was about 14 years old.  When we were searching for a condo we looked for specific things: an evaluator, less living space to manage, lower living costs, a reasonable condo fee, pet friendly, geographically close to our kids, and a property that was cared for and financially viable.  We weren't looking for some of the more typical considerations - amenities like organized social activities, business center services, or exercise equipment.  In fact, we were initially not even looking for a senior community and we were looking for places without those typical amenities.  The fact there is no newsletter or committees or social calendar is just fine with us.
we did not want to pay for things we would not use - those amenities comes with a high dollar price tag in the form of elevated condo fees.  Nothing is free.

Some of you were readers of my blog as I struggled with the decision to move and to find the right place.  You might remember just how emotionally draining and exhausting the whole process was.  I have some observations on the pluses and minuses of the decision I made two years ago.  

• Plus: Ease of interior maintenance - since I am the one doing all the maintaining - this is important.  
• Minus: Vanilla is not my favorite flavor - I like variety.  I miss the mix of residents that we used to have - families with young children, singles, Halloween Trick or Treaters.
• Plus:  Definitly cheaper - a big plus.  We have an adequate retirement, but time and inflation can eat into that nest egg.  Expenses are stable here with no large jumps in the condo fee.  No external issues to manage like when the roof leaks or the snow falls.  
• Minus:  Less control over making sure the exterior is repaired and maintained.  Property ages.  Halls need painting, hall carpet needs replacing ... now at 16 years old, this property needs on going maintenance. 
• Plus:  Quieter - neighbors are more considerate of how they live their lives and how it might impact others than in more vibrant younger communities. 
• Minus:  Moving after 55 - at least for me - means leaving behind a place called home of 30 years.  That same feeling will be unlikely here. 
• Plus:  More time for me and my personal pursuits.  
• Minus:  Some folks who live here are aged past the point of being independent safely.  That is an issue everywhere, but when you live in a senior community, it is more evident.
• Plus:  You can build new friendships among your peers when you are surrounded by your peers!  I have been very lucky to make several friends in this community.  

Nothing is perfect - every style of living after a certain age carries some concerns.  We certainly could not have anticipated some of my minuses and pluses when making this decision two years ago.  But despite the minuses - I am still content with our choice.

It is nice to know that!

Glad that looking back didn't result in regrets!

Right sizing

I recently read the term "right sizing" in a blog post on Miss Minimalist.

Miss Minimalist hosts a weekly post featuring readers who are pursuing a minimalist life style.   Those posts very interesting as they allow you to peak into the lives of folks making big changes.    This Monday she hosted "Heather in Texas" who used the term "right sizing."

Yes!

That is what I am doing.  Getting things to a size that fits me!  What a great term.  It does not dictate a one-size-fits all style of living.

And in truth, I think it is what we all do in our lives.  Size it to fit our desires.

It got me thinking.  Why did it take so long to seek out my own personal right size?  Some of the writers on Miss Minimalist are in their 20s.  Amazing that they should be so independent of thought at such an early age to know what size life is right for them.

Not so with me.  I was very impressionable as a young adult.  Looking back my desires and goals were often formed from those around me.  I believe the biggest influence in my early 20s came from my future mother-in-law.

They say first impressions are the most lasting.  Certainly it was so with her.  Her small two bedroom apartment looked like a gift shop. Decorative objects filled every flat surface and wall.  Weekends were spent keeping artful displays dusted, polished and organized. Yearly, she would hand wash all the walls and ceilings, and every year she would get down on her knees and scrape off all the weekly layers of "Wash and Glow" (one step wash and wax solution) from all the floors with a paint scraper.  She would then apply a new layer of "Wash and Glow" to her floors and the cycle would begin again.    During this time she would rearrange all her furniture and decorations.  Her drawers and closets were perfection.  Nothing gave her greater joy than having someone comment on what a lovely home she had.  In hindsight, sadly, it is evident that her home reflected her worth in her eyes.

In those first years, I admired all that.  Coming from a lower middle class family that did not have any disposable income, her apartment and style of living made a big impression on me.  My dysfunctional family was the opposite of everything she was.  I didn't see the negative life experiences and disappointments that lead her to such a controlled way of living.  I wanted to "right size" my life to reflect what I saw in her.  And in many ways I did.

I came to understand, however, that her obsessive focus was on objects - not people.  Objects didn't disappoint - and people did.  As she aged her social contacts became limited.  Her "friends" were her hairdresser, the grocery store checker, the taxi cab driver.  Now I know that those folks could easily be discarded if they disappointed.   She had right sized her life to one narrow little path to minimize disappointment.

Those early influences lingered on in me for years and years.  Eventually I learned to love and accept this woman for who she was while growing to understand that her "right size" was not right for me.  She was a wonderful grandmother to my children.  She died almost 20 years ago and I miss her to this day.  But her life style influence has almost totally faded from my radar.  It took about 40 years, but my own style is evolving in an entirely different direction.

Right sizing my life kicked into high gear when mom died.  I am reaching what is good for me.  The size of our house may continue to be too big, but the contents are reaching a level that is manageable and comfortable.

One wish ...

If you could have one material wish

 (no wishing for world peace here ... )

 what would you wish for?

That was the question posed by a blogging friend called Paula at Smidgens, Snippets and Bits.  That question seemed to resonate like a huge gong in my brain.

And it made me instantly sad and pensive about life.

My one wish is as impossible as world peace.  My husband has a degenerative eye condition that over the last 10 years has robbed him of his vision.  Today he is legally blind and at some point in the future, he will be totally blind.  His condition has no cure!

My wish would be sight for my husband.

In fact, if it was medically possible (it isn't) - I would happily give him one of my eyes.

While this statement sounds self sacrificing on my part - it is not!  It is the fatiguing result of watching too much loss around me.

I spent the last 8 years watching my mom slowly lose all parts of a life she had independently built up  ... lost through age and dementia ... until finally she was left with only her daughters standing by her beside waiting for the end.  She did not even have the comfort of knowing we were there.  Total and complete loss.

Now I watch my husband slowly shed a life time of cherished hobbies.  First to go was some of his independence - no driving.  Then his substantial library of books, followed by his enormous  American Stamp Collection,  and now on the chopping block is his beautiful and valuable toy soldier collection.  TV is now mostly a radio show for him.   Even pouring a cup of coffee without spilling it has become a challenge.

The gift of one of my eyes would be a small sacrifice to make to improve his life.

But wishing is a waste of time.

How easy it is to focus on all the troublesome problems in life.  If problems go on for years and years, it becomes a habit to view life through the lens of loss.

This year - the first year of my mom's passing and the first year of increasing disability in my husband - I have allowed my emotions and point of view to settle on what is missing - what is lacking - on loss!  It has sapped my energies.  Fatigue best describes my internal mental state.

I need to change the lens I am looking through!

So I am pushing myself right now instead of wishing.

• Organization.  The Bullet Journal has been helpful in putting some control back in my hands.  
• Gratitude.  I need to write down all the positives - they are many.  Bullet Journal - make room.
• Adult Coloring!  Yes, coloring for grown ups - and I am not talking about porn coloring books!  I didn't need a new hobby but apparently I have one.  Coloring is apparently a new (old?) hobby - one most likely relegated to children in the minds of many.  But now it has become quite the adult past time to help reduce stress and increase relaxation.  Who knew?  I have new coloring books, new color pencils and I am off and running - well, off and coloring at least. Maybe I will post a picture or two.
• Legos - opps!  See a theme here?  I will blog more on that later.
• Knitting - nothing replaces the satisfaction I get from knitting.
• Walking ... enough said.

If I have one strength  ... it is my ability to adapt and change.  Lately, however, it is harder than normal.  Fatigue is a powerful enemy.  But I have little patience for people who sit and say "poor me" and do nothing about it.

I have lost patience with poor fatigued me!  Working on a different description.

How about you?  

Any wishes?

Your shopping DNA!

It is funny how touching every single thing you own in the world can change your behavior  ...  at least a bit.

While recovering from back spasms, I took the time to look at my local town newspaper.  I seldom do this anymore - I am just not a newspaper kind of person.  But the paper is free and shows up on  my door step every week, so I settled down to see what I had been missing.

Nothing!  I doubt I will be looking again any time soon.

But I did notice a few advertised sales and it did prompt a reflection or two.

The act of shopping logically results in something that comes into the house.  Recently I have been focused on things going out of the house.

As I was checking out these sales I realized that my perspective has changed.  In fact, I was so changed that I stopped looking and just discarded the paper.

I got to thinking ...

• There is nothing that I want/need at present - but - looking at the sales I saw some interesting "this or that" at a great price.  Hmm ...
• I generally hate shopping in brick and mortar stores.  It takes up too much time.  You have to get in the car, drive, park, walk into the store, look around, maybe stand on line, or maybe discover they don't have "this or that," then get back in the car, and repeat the process at another store.  
• Trips to the store or reading sales literature often results in extraneous purchases not on my current need list -  totally impulse buys - and are potential clutter once brought into the house.

I used to LOVE to go shopping!  Not so much now.  I much prefer to order on line and let someone deliver the item to my door.  

Yikes, when did this disconnect happen?

For example:  A few years back I was very focused on reducing our grocery spending.  In my typical fashion I read up on ways to save on this expenditure.  I clipped and sorted coupons.  I periodically purged for expiration dates.  I had a big box for coupons!!  I looked for double and triple coupon days at our local stores and I visited many stores seeking the best price using sales and coupons.  I even kept a price book listing our staples by name, size, and best price.  The book helped me identify if a sale was really the best price based on history.  The whole process was so time consuming it became almost a part time job.   I was never able to buy $125 worth of groceries for $30 like you sometimes saw as examples to aspire to.  And here is how crazy it was ... I don't even like to cook and yet here I was deeply engrossed in a cooking related activity.  During that time our food expenditure mostly went up.  We purchased more food than we needed because it was a "great price" and we would use it in the future.  Ironically those rock-bottom priced items sometimes got tossed after a time because we had more than we could use and they would go passed their expiration date.  It was a total fiasco for me.  Looking back I can see it was a nutty use of energy.

Now we grocery shop at one store only each week, I seldom use coupons, I will shop sales, but I don't buy ahead and I seldom check the ads for sales.  Our bills have gone down.  But even with those changes, we still seem to have too much food in the house.  I am working to correct that.

Sadly that grocery example has played out in other purchases as well.   I am hoping this is all in the past.

Apparently decluttering has done more than just injuring my lower back.   My "want/need" level regarding items has been significantly lowered.   

It is like my shopping DNA has been chemically altered.  Nuts!  I wish this had happened many years ago.  Just think of how rich I would be now if I hadn't spent all that money shopping.

So how do you shop?

Is it for need or want?

Is it for amusement?

Are you an internet shopper

 or do you prefer "brick and mortar stores?" 

Personal Disclaimers (or the devil is in the details):  :-)

• My hobby stuff is exempt from this whole discussion.  :-) My old shopping self is still very much alive in my hobbies.  Baby steps, baby steps  ...
• I value the brick and mortar store as a necessary part of our economy - I do support several despite my aversion to shopping in them.
• Clothing and food for me are best made in a brick and mortar store. 

A breather

I think I am ready for a brief breather.

It has been interesting discovering, touching, re-purposing, deciding, repacking, moving, discarding, displaying, and/or gifting all our belongings.  Small untouched pockets of stuff still remain - a small storage closet in the basement, the linen closet, my kitchen cabinets.  But the lion's share is done for now.

A Good Will bag stands at the ready in the kitchen - already full again - but the stuff-movement has reduced to a trickle.

The painting is done - and the rooms are mostly back to normal.  The kitchen renovation is contracted  probably for August.

The yard guy arrived this week.  Our front and back yard should be brought under control soon.

However ...

After all is said and done ... and the house looks the best it has looked in many years - we decided to stay - and not sell - at least for this year.  Part of me is very relieved.  To sell this house I love ... and to face further upheaval - it is not a pleasant prospect after everything we have done.  And my husband, while he supported the idea and the need for a move, he seems relieved too.  But the reason for a change of residence is still a reality.  Each day I wonder how long we have until a fall by my husband makes our choice to stay a foolish one.  So the topic is not closed - just deferred.

On the joyful side of this discussion ... the main de-clutter goal has been achieved.  Minor improvements towards downsizing will continue.  It has finally become manageable.

Now the real work remains - maintaining!

But first ... a breather!

Lesson Learned #5 - Attachments

  I've spent many precious life hours over the last 10 years moving stuff out of my house.  

In the last year, the highway of departing clutter has become an absolute speedway.  

Here is a lesson I have learned in the process.

Lesson Learned #5

Lastly
Attachments to stuff - does it love you back?

I get attached to things.

I attach to people and animals as well, but I have a history of loving things ... attaching to them like they have feelings.  Once you start attaching to things, there is a slippery slope you must manage.

Here is my slippery slope.

Like most people,  I save bits and pieces of things that hold memories for me.  Children's art work, old school papers, a first communion veil, the small worry-stone my son gave me on entering the military, a beautiful greeting card from my daughter with cherished sentiments - just to name a few.  I am fairly successful at managing stuff in this category.  For example, I finally discarded my 56 year old girl scout sash with achievement badges last week.  I wasn't a scout for long, and it wasn't a special time. To this day, "camping" or roughing it for me is staying at a Days Inn.  :-)  The sash went out the door las week.  The stuff I own in this category is down to a reasonable quantity.

Managing attachments in other areas of my life result in limited success.

I give cars names.  My last car was a Maxima.  Her name was Maxie.  I was in tears when I traded her in.  Maxie and I were buds for 10 years.  We got through a lot of bad weather together, but her high-heeled attitude made her designed for speed.   She had a passion for it (notice I didn't say I had a passion for speed - just Maxie!)  At her 10th birthday when she started to burn oil, our trusted mechanic of 35 years could not find the problem.  A fix would have been hard and very expensive. My new car is a Subaru. It (not she, not he) handles the road great in all weather.  It is reliable.  It is transportation.  It does not have a name.  I learned my lesson with Maxie.  And more importantly, I believe the Subaru doesn't care one little bit.  :-)

I have a tough time I throwing away pictures.  I am sad when I see old family albums abandoned in thrift or antique shops.  I have many old family albums myself and boxes of pictures, many are duplicates. I also have old family documents - birth and death certificates, military papers, baptismal documents, certificates of achievement, an old driver's license from the 1930s. Not sure what I will do with all of that - right now they are all in one closet.  But these images are staring at me from the end of the long de-cluttering road.  They know I have a soft spot for family history.  They are keeping their collective fingers crossed that they will make the next de-clutter cut in a few weeks.  We shall see.

The attachment to my townhouse is strong.  Although I yearn for a smaller place - one with less steps, less extra costs, less upkeep, this home holds all my memories of the last 30 years.  I have lived here longer than anywhere else.  I raised children here.  My mother-in-law died of cancer in my living room.  I remember my son stepping out my front door to enter the military and coming in that same door when he returned.  My daughter recovered here from one of life's black clouds.  My husband stood in the kitchen and told me he would one day go blind.  The house has seen parties for birthdays, anniversaries, weddings.  My mother lived here for 5 years and I watched her decline here. I cried at my kitchen sink the day I knew she would need to move to assisted living.  There were joy filled Christmases - and a few sad ones too, like last Christmas when mom died.   This house is tattooed with my life.  I can't imagine letting another family put their marks on it.  And yet ...

How do you avoid attachments to an inanimate building when it feels like more than that?  I will continue to live in and nurture this house for now - and deal with the fall out that will inevitably come later.

The topic of minimalism is cluttered with the principles of letting go and living small.    But minimalism discussions sometimes miss the point that stuff can make your life "more."  Yes, less is more, but sometimes things are also more.

I think the trick is to pick and choose carefully!  And if you pick and choose everything, then that is when problems start.

Keep only what you love ... and what loves you back.

I believe my house loves me back!  

Lesson Learned #3 - Over stuffed?

  I've spent many precious life hours over the last 10 years moving stuff out of my house.  

In the last year, the highway of departing clutter has become an absolute speedway.  

Here is a lesson I have learned in the process.

Lesson Learned #3:

Live with less stuff than your house can hold.

I have never been a big proponent of Rental Storage Units. This lesson has not been learned from actual experience - just common sense.

Yes, these rental storage units serve a short list of purposes.  Temporary storage of household goods between moves or inventory storage for small businesses are two examples that quickly come to mind.  I bet you could suggest a few other good uses as well.

But too often families use these units for years to store household items they cannot contain in their home.  Apparently the need for external storage is a growing trend because the sprouting of "You Store It" buildings continues to grow.  If there wasn't a demand for this kind of storage, the buildings of this type wouldn't be built.

It boggles my mind that folks pay money for these units every month for years to store personal stuff - stuff they don't use and probably don't remember they have.  It is an over-stuffed life for sure.

I also scratch my head when I drive by a house with cars that are always parked outside of full garages. Now I am not talking about garages that function extensions of living space - like a place for large exercise equipment or an expansive tool collection with workbenches ... those changes make sense.  People actually use this space.   But folks who leave vehicles ($$$) outside and use their garage as storage for old bikes, boxes of broken and/or discarded toys, old unused refrigerators, old unused kitchen cabinets, party decorations from last New Years, an old kitchen chair with the broken leg, trash, and the like ...  so that there is no room for their cars - well, the garage is protecting the wrong stuff.

We have never had a garage or a storage unit.  But about 5 years ago we were floating in a sea of our stuff, my mom's stuff, other inherited stuff and there wasn't one space that was open.  My husband causally suggested that maybe we should rent a storage unit for a while - just to give us some breathing room.

Imagine ... paying for breathing room.

We did not get that storage unit.  What I did do was reorganize stuff and buy more things like containers to snuggly store our stuff into our current space, giving us the sense of breathing room.  Not actual breathing room, you understand!  Just the appearance of breathing room.

Ha!

Lesson Learned #2 - Stuff and your heart

  I've spent many precious life hours over the last 10 years moving stuff out of my house.  

In the last year, the highway of departing clutter has become an absolute speedway.  

Here is a lesson I have learned in the process.

Lesson Learned #2

Keep the stuff that speak to your heart.

My mother was raised in a family where a Hope Chest was part of her preparation for marriage.  Knowing some of my mom's history, that hope chest probably represents a happy time for her - a time when she was preparing for marriage to my father.

 Little could she guess that happiness with my father would be in short supply.  Although my dad was a charming, handsome and loving man, he was also sick with alcoholism, and when under its influence, he was none of those things.  He died in 1970 and I have many bad memories of him, but I also have many wonderful ones.  The fact that this balance still exists so clearly in my mind ... and I still love him ... is tribute to the wonderful man he was while sober.


But mom's cedar hope chest was "born" at a time prior to that marriage.  In my mind and heart her chest represents the beautiful and smart young woman she was then - with dreams of happiness and family

 

During my clean out, I unearthed mom's cedar chest in her former bedroom closet.  It had been buried  under all her stuff while she lived in my home, and under all my yarn after she moved into Assisted Living.  I knew this chest needed to be out where I could enjoy it and use it.

As you can see, it has wear - and some damage - but plenty of beauty.  I feel in my heart this chest mirrors how my mom's life turned out.  Much wear, some damage, total beauty.

Because I miss my mom every single day, I want her chest to be part of my everyday life - to help me remember what a wonderfully strong and caring woman she was, how her life started out with hope, and the tarnish of her marriage didn't destroy the underlying strength of who she was.

Her chest is now open to the air and loved again but this time by her daughter.

In this marathon event of seeking to have less but enjoy what remains more ... questions remain.

• Do I need a chest?  No.
• Is need and function the only qualities to consider when de-cluttering your life?  No.
• Will I use and love this piece of furniture all the days of my life?  Yes.

It stays.

Lesson Learned #1 - Good Stuff Bad Stuff

  I've spent many precious life hours over the last 10 years moving stuff out of my house.  

In the last year, the highway of departing clutter has become an absolute speedway.  

Here is a lesson I have learned in the process.

Lesson Learned #1

Not all stuff is bad stuff!

While reading about minimal life styles and the joys of "less is more," you can get swept up by the hype.  Some self identified simplification gurus put a high premium on getting your possessions down to the bare minimum ... being able to contain all your belongings is your car ... or the joys of brushing your teeth with soap ... or having empty surfaces and shelves throughout your living space.

I have a much more middle-of-the-road picture of minimalism..

I have had a decent life where disposable income was the norm.  My husband and I had a broad range of interests and hobbies.  We enjoyed collecting stuff around those pursuits.  In some regards, we still do.

But over time we packed away many of our passions.  Sometimes we no longer enjoyed the ownership of an item, but it wasn't junk so we just boxed it up and forgot about it.  Usually we didn't have space to display everything that 45 years of marriage could produce.  Or our tastes changed and our interests evolved.  On we moved to the next endeavor.  Do you recognize yourself anywhere in that description?

One remarkable side benefit of diving deep into your stored belongings is a discovery of a long forgotten treasure that you forgot you owned.

This chess set is one such item.

My husband collected chess sets.  We must have 15 of them.  This was not a cheap hobby.  Most of the sets we purchased were several hundred dollars.  But over time we packed them away.

This beautiful hand carved and painted Camelot Chess set was created by a wood carver called Whittle Works.  Holy Cow!  These figures haven't seen the light of day in probably 15 years.

Gosh!  I still love these!!  Why the heck aren't they out where I can enjoy them? Well, they are now out.  I will tell you why they weren't out.  The set was "out of sight out of mind" in a box buried deeply behind a bunch of bad stuff I didn't care one twit about and now does not live here anymore.

Some minimalist minded folks would question keeping this chess set.  They would ask:

• Have you touched this item in the last year?  No.  Not touched or seen in the last 15 years.
• Do you enjoy playing chess?  No.  I am an embarrassingly bad player.
• Will you play chess with it in the future?  No.  Not my game.  I prefer Checkers.
• Do you find beauty or get enjoyment out of this set?  Yes!  End of Story.

So, there you go.  

The chess set stays.  

The bad stuff goes.

Miss Minimalist

As a blogger, it should be no surprise that I follow a few other bloggers.  And lately I have reduced my blog list considerably.  In fact, I have stopped using my on line blog catcher and just subscribe to blogs using the email option.

Keeping the lists of subscribed blogs small has been part of my "smaller is better," "less is more" change of heart over the last few years.  One blog has been helpful in inspiring me in this direction.

Miss Minimalist

Living a beautiful life with less stuff

This blogger and the book she wrote on this subject have been featured in many well known news vehicles such as CNN, BBC, NBC Today, Forbes ... just to name a few.  Certainly there are a large number of excellent web resources on simplifying and minimalism, but Miss Minimalist seems closest to my own middle-of-the-road mindset on the subject.

There is one feature I really enjoy.  Each Monday she posts a piece contributed by various followers about their journey to reducing stuff and adopting minimalism.  I love reading about others and the paths they chose for their lives - even if I wouldn't necessarily follow in all their foot steps.  It is amazing how many ways you can approach the minimalist life style.

Today I noticed her post was about moving from one residence to another with a minimalist mindset.  How timely!  We have been contemplating the wisdom of making a move to a smaller more senior friendly place the last few months.  That decision is still a big question mark for us.

However, as I am cleaning out my own abode - I kept these thoughts in the back of my mind ...

• Have I used this item in the last year?
• Would I keep this item if I were moving next week?
• Would I pay money to pack, transport, and unpack this item?  
• Would this item be worth the time to wrap and box up ... and unbox and use in a new home?  

If the answer was "no" to any of these questions ... why would I bother keeping it now?  I have my hands on this item right now.  Does it make sense to keep it and face this decision again at a time when I am actually moving?  Why table this action to discard an item to a time when the stress of an actual move would weigh me down with all the stuff I kept today? And even if I don't move ever again, is it fair to leave this task to the loved ones I leave behind?

I will say that going through this downsizing process has been exhausting.  I typically spend about 3 or 4 hours a day working through our possessions, touching and deciding the fate of each item, and then I am just too tired to continue.  I don't make good decisions when I am too tired.  After about 4 weeks of working through this, I am glad I have the luxury to spread it out over time and do it right.  I am very glad I am not facing a pending move with the deadline of a mover's truck at the end of the line.  Now there is a nightmare in the making.

If you are going through a similar stage in life - desiring "less is more" - then check out the blog Miss Minimalism.  Take the time to window shop through her site.  Pick and choose the topics that interest you.  See if it doesn't crystalize your thoughts about stuff ... and how you want to live with yours.

I am currently reading her book, The Joy of Less.  I have found that books on simplification and  minimalism run "hit or miss."  Sometimes it is just a rehash of what you logically already know or what you have read a bunch of times elsewhere.  And to be fair, learning to live more minimally only happens if you can consistently take the actions to make it so.  There is no substitute for changing behavior.  Just reading about it - isn't enough.  These are hard lessons I struggle with regularly.  I will say, however, this book is highly rated on Amazon and so far I would agree with those ratings.  I will report back when I finish the book.

Dust of Ages ... and ages ... and ages ...

Dear Blog Friends,

Just when I think I'm done with blogging, I get another push to write and bore you to death with all my life "adventures."  Hopefully you aren't bored to actual death, as that reduces the number of readers significantly.  And I will admit that "adventures" is a stretch for my life right now.

Since visiting with you last I have not been idle.  In fact, I have been busy to the point of exhaustion as of late.

Over the last 8 years, my caregiver focus has been almost totally aimed at my mom.  After her passing in December, it took awhile to get my "sea legs" back.  As the list of mom related to-dos dwindled, I had trouble focusing that "caregiver laser-beam" on anything else.  I was adrift.  I felt like a gang leader without a gang!

(Can you tell I have been watching the violent TV series Sons of Anarchy?

  ... which by the way is pretty great!  Sort of like The God Father, but not.)

In the last month a major shift of energies and focus blossomed out of me.   Hmm ...  I guess it was more of an volcanic eruption, than the blossoming.

I finally focused my "laser-beam" around my own house and decided  -

Not . Good . Enough .

• Too much stuff.
• Too much furniture.
• Some areas not painted in over 20 years.
• Some possessions not touched about 10 years.
• Some possessions overdue a transition to the dump, or Good Will, or to another home.
• Some repairs and renovations ignored or lived around for way to long.
• Some items not even mine, for gosh sake.  
• It is stifling.
• It weighs me down.

Not . How . I . Want . To . Live!!

We did some stuff last summer - hardwood flooring and some painting ... but real issues still remained.  So I pulled up my big girl panties and put on rubber gloves - and attacked the real issues of my home head on.  

The Goal

I want to live lighter ... with less stuff ... with only the things that I love. 

I want space around me and around the things that I love.

Like a ball and chain,
I don't want to drag along possessions on the assumption that maybe, possibly,
 I might need them at some indefinable point in the future.

I want to adopt the life style attitude now of "less is more."  

When it is time to move to a smaller more senior friendly environment,
I want to be ready.

  And when my time on this earth is done, 

I don't want my kids to left with a house full of dusty junk to manage and/or discard.

Now I am on a first name basis with the dump guy, a healthy contributor to our local Good Will organization, and many worthy former belongings are now loved by others in their houses.   Summed up at least 40% of our stuff-occupants no longer reside in this house.  

We . Have . Breathing . Room!!

And the odyssey is not over yet.  In the near-future ...

• Some cocky "stuff-occupants" that made the first cut this go-round, won't be living here come the New Year.  As my husband noted just this morning ... "It is amazing but despite the mountain of stuff we have moved out of the house, we STILL have a lot of stuff."    Not for long, Kemosabe. Not for long!
• Our kitchen will get a major face lift this summer.

Oh ... and there is less dust as well.