Approaching Another Anniversary

Next month we will have lived in this condo for 2 years.  

Hard to believe that much time has passed.

As long time readers know, the transition from our townhouse of 30 years to a 55+ condominium community was very hard for me.  If my husband was not disabled, we would probably still reside in the townhouse.  It is where the most important experiences of life happened and almost half my life was spent.  We made improvements that were long overdue.  It was pretty much the way we wanted it to be - except for the steps.  We couldn't improve away the 20 steps from the parking lot to our front door ... not counting the flights of steps between floors.  I couldn't ignore the falls my visually impaired husband had on those steps.  His falls were like little warning bells in my brain - better find a safer place before something more serious occurs.  Circumstances dictated that our time there had come to an end.

The condo finally feels like it belongs to me - and not me living in someone else's space.  The pluses of this condo remain. It is safer, easier to maintain, cheaper and exactly the right amount of living space for 2 retired folks in their 70's.  When I think of what it would be like to return to our townhouse today ... I can't wrap my brain around how it would work.  We are in the right place now.

Looking back I can see that we timed our move just inside a critical window of energy and ability.  Each decade of life seems to have its own defining characteristics.  They are usually not discovered until you are living through them.  I believe my 60s could be described like the month of March except in reverse.  "In like a lion, out like a lamb."   Without detailing all the many tasks involved in buying and selling property or the scope of sorting, downsizing and moving all your worldly possessions ... simply stated, moving takes an enormous amount of energy when you are 69 facing 70.   With each passing year, that effort gets only harder.  It's like ramping up the effort of living into high gear when nature is downshifting your body so you can "go the distance."  Opposing forces for sure.

From 2 years out - I am grateful we did what we did ... when we did it!  Because I was in the driver's seat for all that move, I was drenched with uncertainty, anxiety and fatigue through all of it.   I am so thankful that I can look back at that experience and know that there are no regrets.  

Yes, 

approaching the second anniversary of our move to this condo

 is filled with peace and confirmation. 

You can't ask for more than that!

Getting there.

I guess it had to happen sometime ... I am finally settling into this condo.

After 8 months, I feel like I am now living in my own space ... not someone else's place.  Oh, we have been settled physically for several months but furniture placement and pictures on the wall do not dictate how one feels about where you live.  The condo may never achieve the level of 'home' for me, but it has gained the status of 'mine.'

We upgraded and replaced a number of items to make it more comfortable and functional.  And our life experiences are starting to imprint on the 'condo ether' in a way that makes this more than just a place to warehouse my stuff.

Over time I have met a number of wonderful neighbors.  They are all welcoming.   In fact several weeks ago one neighbor was out taking measurements of the dumpster space for an upcoming project and I was out walking my grand dog.  He asked for my assistance holding the tape measure.  I was happy to help.  We got to talking.  One thing let to another, and this month I attended my first board meeting (annual owner meeting) of the community and was voted onto the board of directors.  Yikes!

Having served in this capacity previously, I know the frustrations and satisfactions of this position.  This board is friendly, welcoming and totally engaged in making this community a good place to live.   All are original owners (12+ years), and have a wealth of knowledge regarding the community.  I am grateful I was encouraged to run for a position.  I am honored to be elected.

All and all I think my personal adjustment is progressing.  I still feel a small sadness when I think for any amount of time on my old neighborhood and townhome.  Guess that will always be so.  But I am growing in a different direction now ... and looking forward.  No more checking my rear view mirror.  That view has changed greatly and is forever just a memory.

Next post - last entry of the condo tour!

A pause in the story ...

I guess I took an unexpected pause ...

Not the pause that was planned or refreshes ... just a pause to cope.

Last I wrote was September 21 - and I was in the middle of a "condo tour."  I will get back to that with the next post.  But this post is about the "pause."  Hard to believe it is now November 6.

Our townhouse settlement date (or the giving away of a "child" I birthed) was scheduled for October 27.  As we move closer and closer to that date my focus on anything was a failure.  Of course, I had tasks to do related to the sale.   I visited the townhouse off and on, meeting with contractors, sweeping and raking periodically, collecting mail, chatting with the neighbors.  It kept me connected and engaged, but it also kept me emotionally tied to the property.

I didn't sleep well the night before settlement.  I didn't think I would.

The day of settlement my husband and I arrived in the lobby of the settlement company.  As we reached the front desk a man passed by us and approached a young couple sitting on a couch.  I heard him mention something about " .... here for Setting Sun Way property."  I turned and said we were also here for Setting Sun Way property. I met the lovely young couple who was going to buy my dear townhouse.   And when I say "lovely" ... I totally mean it.  Before the settlement began, the woman said that she "thought she knew my daughter" and that I looked just like her.  Turns out she did know my daughter.  They went to high school together. She and her parents had lived in this neighborhood back then and she loved the area. This couple were very very excited about moving into the townhouse. She commented several times what good care I had taken of the unit.  Basically, she said all the right things.

The knot in my stomach began to unwind.  Here was the perfect young family (they had a 10 month old child), who wanted to make a home in our home ... in our neighborhood ... around our neighbors ... because she loved it.

You cannot possibly imagine just how relieved I was to meet this perfect people - who I would have chosen if I could - to live in my home.  When we left settlement I began to let go of the grip of steel I had on that townhouse for so long.  My "child" was going to a good family.

On Halloween I was invited back to Setting Sun Way by a few of my former neighbors.  Halloween is a big deal in that community.  It was just one big happy mad house.  The new owners of the townhouse were just returning from somewhere and we talked for a bit.  My former neighbors came up and introduced themselves to the new owners.  It was a warm and welcoming time.  Before I moved on, the woman asked me if I would like to come in and see what they had done so far inside.  I declined.  As I told her, I got through settlement without tears, not sure I could go inside now without tears.

I am beginning to feel a certain level of comfort in this condo.  It may never reach the level of "home," but it will become more than just "where I am living."  Now I am thinking about blogging again.  I am beginning to bring out some hobbies I previously abandon.  I am changing out some appliances that need replacing.  I am redoing some of the window treatments.  I am setting down some roots.

And I am not visiting the townhouse.  It is now busy with other folks.  :-)

Next time I will continue with the condo tour, and we will visit the guest room.

Talk again soon.

Fatigue ...

The month of September is quickly speeding along.

It is hard to believe but this weekend we will have been in this condo for 4 weeks.  Some days (like when I am tired and discouraged) it seems like we are still living in someone else's house for an extended vacation.  Other days my mood is up, I am more rested, the space feels like it could be ours, and I am finally doing a few normal things again.  But mostly it still feels like someone else's condo.

I think fatigue is the culprit.

The main contributor is mental fatigue.  The moving/buy/sell process we started last year and stepped up this spring just never seems to end.  And I am so ready for it all to be over and settled.  The sale of our town home, while under contract, is not a problem free experience.  The actual 'sale' is not a done deal until settlement ... when signatures and money are exchanged ... so much can go wrong.  In fact there has been a hiccup or two with this prospective buyer already so my concern is not without merit.  Our agent is earning his fee as he maneuvers us through the mine field of selling property.

Physical fatigue and stress cannot be minimized either.  Just when I think I am catching up, there are setbacks.  We had one of those setbacks this week.  Our townhouse is protected by a monitored alarm system.  We continue to use the alarm to protect the property since it is vacant.  A few nights ago at 11:15 pm, I got a phone call from the central monitoring desk.  Our alarm was tripped ... basement glass sensor.  They called me.  I was sound asleep.  The monitoring desk asked ... Do you want the police sent? Yes, send the police.  The property is vacant!  Will you meet them at the property?  Yes, we will meet them.  We were 15-20 minutes away.  But off we went in our pajamas on a wet dark stormy night.  When we got there everything looked fine from a distance.  But we were instructed to wait in our car - to not approach the property until the police arrived.  We waited an hour - no police!  I called the alarm company and they called the police again.  Apparently the police did arrived within 5 minutes of the call, checked the property, everything looked fine, and left.  We left as well crawling back into bed at 1:30 am.  And sleep came about an hour later.  As luck would have it, a very big storm went through our old neighborhood with a massive thunder/lightening event close by - setting off the sensor in the basement.  No harm done, except to our peace of mind and rest.

So the effort of this move/buy/sell process continues - until the townhouse belongs to someone else.  Hopefully that will continue as scheduled to its logical end so that I can finally close this chapter and really move on.

I have some blog post ideas in the 'hopper' but no energy or desire to post right now.  Still just putting one foot in front of the other.  But I thought I would stop by for a short update.

Be back ... whenever!!

A forward look

After so long living in one place,
this move feels like a line in the sand of my life.

In the two weeks we have been here I have met a number of very nice neighbors.  Some are at my exact stage of life.  Some are younger and still working.  Some, of course, are struggling with the normal aging process.  But all together they are a very different mix of population than where I was.  It is to be expected in a 55+ community.

It was never our goal to be in a 55+ community, but the accommodations we needed for my husband's disability were found here.  

And, in fact, the pluses are many. 

• The math isn't complicated.  The condo costs us less to live.  We lived comfortably before, but the cost of inflation can nibble away at retirement.  We saw that disintegration with both mothers who initially retired with money to spare, but in the end struggled to keep ahead of expenses.  Hopefully with this move will have pushed that possibility further into the future for us.

• Our living space isn't complicated either.  Smaller, yes, but the use of space is so much more efficient that smaller seems just.  The benefits of living "small" are many.  Just a few examples: it takes less time to clean this place, increasing one's stuff is limited, I don't have far to walk to get what I want.  After years of bigger and more, this change now makes me very happy.  I don't regret giving up floor space or stuff.  I am witness to the fact that actually moving all your belongings from one place to another puts a different perspective on stuff ownership.  At times our stuff (including yarn) felt like a ball and chain around my neck.  We will keep shrinking but at a slower rate.  After all, someday I will probably move from here and this load will seem very heavy then too.

• Once totally settled, my focus must shift to me!  For months the focus was "us" and "husband."  The "me" focus was ignored.  No time.  Back to my knitting crafts, and exercising and maybe some volunteering 

Yes, the line in the sand ...

I guess it is never too late to build another life.

The House Gets Listed

The house was listed on Wednesday of last week.  The sign appeared on the post.  The waiting game began.

Agents have an electronic appointment system that alerts you by email when an appointment is scheduled for a property showing.  Handy.  But unexpectedly emotional (of course!)

The first email I got was exciting - gosh, someone wants to see my house - and then the reality of that sunk in - because they might want to buy it away from me.

I know, I know.  That is the whole point of this exhausting exercise.

The email announcement of the first appointment brought tears to my eyes.  I was weepy for a few hours.  I felt like I had to be somehow part of the process making sure the new prospective owners were worthy of this property - people do that right??  NOT!

By the time 9 appointments were scheduled in a 3 day period I was getting better as accepting this.

An open house was held on Sunday.  Apparently another 18 prospective buyers came through.  Two of them made appointments for this week to view the property a second time.  Nice.

Then on Monday morning an offer came to us - a third person from the open house.  The offer was over our asking price.  That news was stunning to us ... of course the townhouse has to appraise at what was offered.  But still is was very welcomed.

So now chapter two of our real-estate odyssey begins.  This chapter should not be as exhausting and in early October ... if the gods are with us ... we will be down to owning just one property.  The condo.

The Week After

The townhouse was my top priority.  We had a week to get it prepped for sale.  Much to do.

I made trips each day to collect stray items that were overlooked.  But when I arrived on Monday I was met with a sign post sticking out of my front yard ... no sign yet, but that fast the post was up.  It was a bit jarring.

Wednesday was a long day.   Replacement carpeting in 4 rooms was scheduled.  Paint touch up and an alarm repair also was on the agenda.  Another car load of "stuff" came back to the condo.  I should be good for paper towels, cleaning supplies, extension cords and flash lights for a few years.

By the end of the week a cleaning company was scheduled.  The only emotional pull was when I stopped by the townhouse to pay the cleaning crew.  I walked in and the house smelled wonderful - not like my house at all.  :-) That was good.  In talking with the crew chief she said I had a lovely townhouse.   I looked around and realized one more time just what I was leaving.  That was not good.  I made my quick good byes, and thank yous, and left money, and exited quickly.

It was a busy and tiring week, but the house was finally ready for its pictures, a movie (yes, a movie!) and brochures.

The house was ready.  I wasn't as ready.

Movers Arrive

We contracted with a moving company called Two Marines Moving Company.  This company came highly recommended.  They hire many former military and active duty police looking for additional work.  It was a very good choice.

They arrived 30 minutes early (military start early or on time).  My first thought when I saw the trucks was ... you are early.  I have 30 more minutes left on my time here.  Silly, I know but what pops into your brain is not controllable.  It is what it is.

I remember stepping outside to help direct them into the space saved for them - they were already on it.  No instructions needed.  I remember saying to my daughter ... "I will not cry," as tears filled my eyes.  So much for mind over matter!

The crew was made up of 5 guys.  They were ready to rock!  After a short walk through and some discussion they got to work.

I had already arranged for all my friends and family take the final items they were moving and to go on to the air conditioned condo at the start of the move.  I would stay while the movers worked.  I had my reasons.  This was going to be another 100 degree day.  The front door would be open.  It wouldn't take long for the heat and humidity to fill the house.  No sense in all of us standing around (and in the way) sweating.  It was a logical move.

But I had an ulterior motive besides the logical one.  I wanted this time to be mine alone.  I watched as box after box rapidly left the townhouse.  They moved all 107 boxes in about 30 minutes.





They wrapped the furniture beautifully.   The move went without a hitch.  By 12:30 the movers were on the road to the condo with all my stuff.  I hung back with the excuse of closing up and putting the air conditioning back on.  I alerted my family the movers were on the way. I would follow shortly.









It was a sad time knowing this final step had come to pass.  I would be back later that week to pick up a few final items, to arrange for cleaning, to touch up paint and to do all the little things forgotten in the busyness of the morning ... but this time was mine - a final private goodbye to a shelter I loved for almost half of my life.

As I drove away I knew the hardest part was over.  When I arrived my family and friends had set out the food, the movers were having lunch, enjoying some cool air, and taking a small break before unloading.

The rest of the day was a blur for me.  I was so tired.  But I couldn't seem to sit either.  Nervous energy I guess.  I helped direct the location of items as they came in.  My kids helped get the kitchen set up as boxes were delivered.  By the end of the day, all the furniture was set in its spots, the kitchen  could be used and the bed had sheets on it.  We could survive here while the dust settled.

I had survived moving day!

But mini-challenges were ahead ...

The Day After Settlement

We signed on the dotted line (a gazillion times!) on settlement day.  The rest of time I was bonded to my couch and blanket.  Around 6:30 pm - I went to bed.  After weeks of pushing the limits of my endurance, it felt decadent to go to bed so early.  The bed felt wonderful and sleep came rapidly.

But by 3:00 am I was up again ... this time hungry ... and ate a toasted bagel with lots of butter and salt.  It was divine!  Then back to bed again and more sleep.  I was certainly on the mend if I could eat a whole bagel.

The next day - the day after settlement - friends and family arrived to help move the mountain of stuff that was not assigned to the movers.  As each person arrived, they graciously inquired about my health, hoped I felt better, commented on my peaked appearance, etc. etc. etc.  Everyone made appropriate polite suggestions - keep drinking, eat as you can, take frequent rests, we will help.

Then my sister and her husband arrived - last - coming from the furthest away.  She walked directly into the kitchen where I sat, started out with the normal inquiry ... "how are you feeling," and then without taking another breath said ... "You look like hell!!!"  Hahaha!  It was good to laugh.  Only a sister can call it like she sees it, and get away with it!  My son quickly responded, "She looks much better. You should have seen her yesterday.  She looked like the crypt keeper's daughter!  Gray and all."  Another laugh. I was thankful I looked that good yesterday.  On settlement day I felt like the crypt keeper's grandmother!

Truly I felt better that morning.  Salted and buttered bagels are miracle carbs.  But I still needed to sit frequently.

The mountain of stuff disappeared quickly into waiting cars and trucks.  Off we went to see what all our signatures bought!  With so many hands helping the job went quickly leaving time to visit to visit at the condo.  But in the back of my mind I was really dreading the next day.  Movers would come and we would truly be moved out of our home and living in someone else's home -

Well ... technically my home but ... you know what I mean.

More later.

Settlement Day

Between visits to the bathroom and collapsing on the bed, a few decisions got made.

I knew settlement must go on.  Too many other arrangements hinged on this process.  I just wasn't sure how to make it happen.

Once again our agent showed his worth.  Since my husband really couldn't see to do the walk thru of the condo without me at 10:00 am ... and I pretty much "married" to my bathroom  ... the agent suggested doing the walk thru on his own.  He reported back that all was well.

He also arranged for the settlement to be performed in two parts.  The sellers coming from Pennsylvania completed their portion of the settlement at the original time of 11:00 am.  And our portion of the settlement was scheduled for 3:00 pm - in hopes that my symptoms would pull back a bit.  And they did.

Of course, I could not drive - but that was resolved by our son who was scheduled to attend the settlement to assist his father with signing the documents.  Who would have guessed he would be helping both of us.

By the time 3:00 arrived I had been able to keep down small sips of fluids for about 4 hours.  That was good.  It gave me the energy to walk.

The agent made sure our meeting was schedule close to a bathroom.  Early in the meeting I joked about the need for me to exit for a "smoke break."  Everyone chuckled, but if the bathroom hadn't been close, it wouldn't have been funny.  Seriously.  This "never smoked in her life" lady took advantage of several smoke breaks.

All went well for the first 20 minutes until I just ran out of energy.  I got quiet ... talking required too much effort.  I resisted the desire to just place my head on the table.  The settlement attorney stepped up the speed a bit.  All was summed up pretty quickly.  After a final smoke break we headed to my son's car.

When we stepped outside I felt a little better.  I had gotten so cold in the building.  I was grateful for the outside heat.  Of course it was 100 degrees in the shade.  Never in my life have I enjoyed 100 degrees!

Once in our parking lot I felt pretty unsteady.  Climbing twenty steps to our front door was a struggle.  At home I wrapped myself in a blanket and laid down on the couch.  I began to feel a bit better just being prone.

So ended settlement day.  Now we owned 2 residences.  But at that point, I was mostly glad we owned a couch and a blanket.

Till next time.

The Move - limping to the finish line.

The move is done.

And it was hard.  But the worst is passed and we are "rebuilding" a life now somewhere else.

If time and energy were inexhaustible I would have blogged in real time.  But staying ahead of all the demands and fatigue were my single focus.

To start at the beginning  ...

The two weeks before moving, I was extremely aware the deadline was fast approaching.  Packing seemed be an endless task.  Final settlement details were falling into place, but last minute to-dos had to be addressed promptly.  Each communication included cautions about delays and keeping on track for the settlement date.  At times I felt like - just tell me where to sign - I'll sign anything.  But, of course, we wouldn't sign anything - so we plodded on - moving forward struggling to keep focused.

The day before settlement our agent visited us.  He knew how I felt about leaving the townhouse.  He asked how I was doing.  I responded, "fine" but as I talked my eyes teared up, so that was pretty much a lie.  But who has time to address emotions when big deadlines are looming.  Not me.  Others never asked how I was doing - probably because they already knew.  I had no practice at hiding my true state.  But this guy was a true gentlemen.  He did not try to gloss over my emotions - he validated them and said this was not uncommon.

If there was one piece of good luck in this whole process it was getting this agent!!

That night, about 3:30 am, I woke up - not unusual, but this time my stomach was not right.  I headed for the bathroom.  I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "You are not going to be sick."  And I promptly was sick.  Diarrhea and vomiting!  I could not believe it.  I talked myself into ... this is nerves!  You have made yourself sick with fatigue and stress.  You will be just fine!

At 4:30 am - it was confirmed.  I had a diarrhea vomiting bug!  How lucky can one person be.

By 6:00 am I knew I could not make a 10:00 am condo walk thru - and the 11:00 am settlement.

More next time!

One more week ...

The crunch is on!

Sort update - no time for more.

We live surrounded by boxes and yet even as I open drawers and cabinets - I see things that need to go into a box.  Yikes!!

To keep my sanity and health, I decided it is ok to have some items left behind after moving day.  After all, I have to return to clean up and prepare the townhouse for sale - I can retrieve stray items during those visits.  That is a huge concession from a type-A personality like me.

My body is very very tired.  My brain is going in a million different directions.  Rest periods during the day are the only way I continue to move forward.  Last week I had a full day that ended up as the rest period.  The energy it takes to keep moving forward is owned by a far younger person than I am.

We settle this Friday morning on the condo.  Starting that afternoon family and friends will be helping me move the extraneous items (and there are a bunch), that don't fit in boxes or are best moved by loving hands.  Saturday and Sunday there will be more of that kind of moving - with the professional movers coming on Sunday morning for the furniture and the boxes - 72 boxes so far.

I keep thinking that by Monday - a week from today - we will be moved in to the condo, but reality forces me to accept that we will be moved in completely (not unpacked), by the following Monday - 2 weeks from today!!

Never again!

You've heard it here.

The next move I make will be orchestrated by my children

 into a one room Assisted Living facility!

Probably in a month or two!  Ha! 

"See" you on the other side of the move.

Less than two weeks

Here we are on August 2 and our settlement is scheduled for August 12 - 10 days from now.  The moving company arrives on August 14.  The light at the end of the tunnel can also be a brick wall.

Ready or not - here we come!!

Packing seems never ending.  Empty boxes seem to disappear to be replaced with stacks of labeled and sealed boxes, and yet unpacked items still remain.  Some things just defy boxing - so a stack of things that must be moved without boxing is starting to grow.

In my mind, I see moving day as a time when everything gets carried out - leaving the townhouse totally empty except for a few cleaning supplies.   I suspect, however, this process will spill into the following week as I clean up the townhouse one final time for sale.  I would prefer a "clean" move ... a house that is full this day, empty the next ... but I wonder if I can pull that off.

How people move from one state to another in a single action I will never know.  I am moving across town.  I will still be in the area to vacate any last items ... but what if that wasn't an option.  Yikes.

In fact, I can't imagine how people move frequently.  Military families do this all the time.  I guess the effort needed to move is a good argument for not putting down "roots" in any one place.  My roots run very deep here.

Emotionally I continue to have my sad moments as I extract my self from this home.  I don't allow myself to dwell on it long because these emotions are counter productive to reaching my goal.  I have have honored this house in my heart for the last year.  Now it is time to move on.

But still ...

I drove by the new condo yesterday while I was out on other chores.  With every visit I am reminded why we decided this place was good.  Although it is located within hearing distance of a major road, it is also across the street from a property that has horses.  It is within 1/4 mile of a shopping center with a grocery store and other retail.  Walking distance!  It is part of an established neighborhood.
Reminding myself of the "why" and the "where" seemed important ... even if it was a decision that was beyond changing - at the 10 day mark!

And would I change my mind if that was an option?  No.  I would not change my mind.  My husband needs a safer environment.  I need less house (and stuff) in my own life, and we both will benefit from no steps.

In less than two weeks our home base will change.  The time is very close now.

A Theory About Boxes

I have a theory about boxes that has begun to grow in scope as I clean out and pack up all my worldly possessions ... and it surprises me just a bit.

In the last year I have been brutal about downsizing stuff.  This house in its hayday probably held the contents of 3 families.  Over the last year I have carried out or hired someone to haul away about half of that stuff.  Yes, much was inherited, much was collected by us, and then there was the I "may need it someday" stuff.  You get the idea!  I have been relentless for about a year. 

And still ... the packing of what remained birthed the "box theory."

The box theory began as a small seed in my brain.  A move date was on calendar.  The future square footage was known.   Packing began and a stack of boxes began to grow.  Somewhere about box #10 (packing boxes gets old very fast - I can assure you!), I started to look at boxes as a gate keeper to the new condo.  

The small stack of boxes began to weigh on me.  Previously loved and valued items started to become less valued.  My brain started to prioritize what I really wanted - not just what I thought I wanted.  Things that I previously kept were not loved quite enough to make it into a box. 

And that in a nutshell is the box theory - if you have to box it up and move it - the boxes become a sort of gate keeper.

I am up to 48 boxes packed.  We are estimated by the mover to have 100 boxes!  Although I look around and see a lot of empty spaces, I still see a lot of stuff.  What I have packed and what I have left to pack continues to weigh on me - so the box theory will be the final filter of decluttering.

What continues to be remarkable - is that I don't miss anything I have gotten rid of.  Nothing.  In fact, now that a lot of our stuff is in boxes, I don't seem to miss that stuff either!  Who knows, maybe the boxes aren't the final gatekeeper.  Maybe the condo will be the last gatekeeper.  As I unpack I may decide - hey, why did I move this thing!  

We have about 3 weeks before we move.  The finish line is in sight!   

Moving ... all the time

Just a short check-in to let you know I still live!

Each day is filled from first light to dinner's end with details, on top of details, on top of yet more details.  Needless to say it is a very busy time.

The inspection of the condo turned up a totally ready property - no hidden problems. Visiting it again with the inspector confirmed how much we love the set up of this floor plan and the building generally.

The mortgage process is almost complete - with no hidden problems there either.  The only "problem" is paying a mortgage after years of no monthly payments.  But that will resolve when the townhouse sells and we can pay off the loan.

The downsizing and packing also continues.  Some furniture left our house for our son's home last weekend and a few last pieces will be donated at the end of the month.  I think I have estimated fairly well what furniture will fit in our newly reduced living space.  Only time will tell however.  The parade of objects leaving for new homes continue, but at a markedly reduced rate.  As I unpack on the condo end - it will be only loved items  - not the extras that have cluttered my life for so long.  That feels good.  The packed boxes are growing.  Empty room spaces are also growing.  Progress.

Moving weekend plans are forming.  Family and friends are holding dates.  It will be helpful to have friendly faces around me on that stress filled weekend.

Through it all there are 2 constants that are with me all the time.  I am tired and I feel a low grade anxiety.  Fatigue is normal - and will eventually resolve when everything is done.  Anxiety?  Well that is normal as well.  This townhouse holds the memories of almost half my life.  Never have I lived anywhere so long.  Something that shelters so much of your existence and holds so many memories can't help but take on an emotional attachment.

The townhouse is just a "thing," in the eyes of many ... and yet, for me ... it isn't.  It is the only loved thing left that I can't put in a box and take with me.

Don't know when I will be checking in again.  But I will be back!

My Life List - July 4, 2016

I am joining the blog Smidgens, Snippets and Bits in sharing "My Life List."

This entry will be a bit short for me (little old wordy me).  My time has suddenly gotten very very tight.

Outside my window ...
Back yard fireworks are making noise.  It is also rainy ... again.  I enjoy fireworks but if I see them ... it is usually on TV.  The crowds of people at these events are always a bit much for me.

Inside my window ...
Today we are on the crest of a busy and scary time.  We viewed a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom condo in a 55+ community, loved it, put an offer on it - and today, we got word that our offer was accepted!!  Holy Cow!  Looks like we are moving!!  More on that in future postings.

What I am reading ....
I finished the Olivia Mourning series by Yael Politis.  The third book was called Whatever Happened to Mourning?  This third book does sum up the whole story pretty nicely - almost too nicely and too neat - with most of it happening in the 1960s.  At first I didn't think I like the change of time line, but I kept with it ... and I am glad I did.  Check it out.  I think you will enjoy it.  Still working on what to read next.

What am I watching on TV ...
Still watching Nurse Jackie on Netflix and although it has lost a bit of its "fun feel," it is a compelling story.  I have no doubt that this story line is true for many people with addictions.   I did check out how this series ends in season 7 - and it ends badly.  But I will continue to watch this story to the end.  I am in season 6.

What am I creating ...
Lists, lists and more lists.  I can feel my brain exploding with everything I need to do in about 6 weeks time.  Thank God for my Bullet Journal.  It will save me!

What I am pondering ...
I can't help wondering what it will be like to live in 1360 square feet instead of 2200 square feet.  I am hoping it meets my expectations of less to maintain.  God knows we don't need or use 2200 square feet now, but just how much living space is enough?  I guess 1360 square feet will be enough because that is what the new condo will be.  And I am wondering how I tell my neighbors here that we are moving.  There are some really nice folks in my neighborhood.  I want to tell them before the sign goes up in the front yard.

A quote I quote ...
"When I was a kid my parents moved around a lot, but I always found them."  Rodney Dangerfield

My week - a Peek ...
Panic.  And more Panic.  Then list making.  Then organization.  Then calm, followed by panic.  And repeat, until November when we are settled in our condo, and this townhouse is sold.  Fingers crossed on the last point.

What keeps me awake at night ....
Two nights ago I slept very little - wondering if we should put a bid on this condo - were we ready to make this giant move, is this the right place, will I like the neighbors, will the neighbors like me, can I get this house packed up in 6 weeks ... it was a hard night.  Last night I slept well.  I was so tired from lack of sleep - NOTHING - would keep me awake.  Today when we heard our offer was accepted, it felt right.  Not big deal joyful.  Just right.  So it must be right.  Hope I sleep well tonight!

Word of the Year ... Move!
I chose this word because I wanted to keep my body moving.  Looks like it will be more representative of an actual move of residence.

Meeting With The Agent

We like our agent!  It was a good decision to change agents.  The first gentleman was nice, but I couldn't help feeling he was focused on a different element of the market than we were.

Our third meeting with the new agent went well this week.  The walk-through of our property was simplified by the fact we will not be residing in the house when it is shown.  So our "punch list" should be short.

But during our talk I was caught unexpectedly by an emotion that I have kept under control.

He said our house would show very well in the pictures and in person.  Our care and improvements will make for an easy showing.  Then he said that the brochure they would create would also look great.

Brochure!!

Something about having our house shown in a brochure made the emotion of leaving this place suddenly rise to the surface.  I responded, that I would try not to cry when he created that brochure.  He glanced at me and paused for a moment.  He then gracefully shifted his gaze and commented that a move like this after 30 years is hard - so much life has occurred here - and your obvious care of the property shows just how hard it will be.

I could feel my eyes tearing up and my throat tighten.  I couldn't speak.

He quickly went on to describe the house he and his wife had lived in and had 6 kids in - 1100 square foot rancher.  He talked about how it felt to keep that house, but rent it to strangers.  That his son still cuts the grass for that property.  That he only rented to those he trusted, but still had attachments.  And so on and so on.

While he talked I had a chance to get control of my emotions.  I was grateful.

We moved on.

Oh my God.

  This won't be easy.

  How will I ever get through the settlement process!

The Finish Line

I have finally gotten our worldly goods down to the basics for living in our townhouses.  Trips to the dump and to Good Will have slowed.  Yesterday several pieces of furniture where picked up and hauled away.  Oh, there are still some small pockets of stuff I haven't finished getting through. But we are close.  If were were to move now, of course, I am sure other things would not come with us because space in a two bedroom condo will be more limited.

But ... where to go.  That question still haunts us.

Our search continues to limit us to elevator buildings or first floor units.  We are further limited by location and condition.   Not all locations are acceptable for a variety of reasons.  But the issue of condition (how well maintained, how clean, appliance issues, etc. etc. etc.) still remains a large stumbling block for me. We are looking for a 'move-in-ready' property.  My definition of move-in-ready, means that I can move in and not be faced with major condition expenses in the first year.  Our house will be move-in-ready by my definition.  In fact, it would be several years before someone would need to take action on anything ... unless they simply want to change the paint color, upgrade my new kitchen counters or purchase other appliances in a different color.  I personally find those kinds of changes wasteful if the item functions well and is clean.  But I understand about differences in taste.  Some "move in ready" places, however,  the appliances are so old and so dirty (and some have external damage) ... they would need to be replaced before I moved in.

I don't want people to think I am a persnickety housekeeper.  My appliances are not always clean, for years I lived with clutter, some of my carpet is original, and many dust bunnys use this place as a postal address.  But if I sell this townhouse, those short comings will not be someone else's problem.  I'll take care of them before I show this house to perspective buyers.

In the two and a half months of condo searching ... and visiting a few properties that came close to what we were looking for, only two condos hit the market that were perfect and they were right in my neighborhood.  Two units out of hundreds.  They got snapped up quickly.

So my husband and I have started to qualify every moving conversation with the possibility that we will stay here.  It would mean some major expenses to retro-fit this townhouse to be user friendly for seniors.  Two stair lifts would be a very expensive addition to a house that is too big for us now.   When you live in a 3 level town house and each level has things you use in daily living - it adds up to two stair lifts.  But it is an option down the road.

Fall is the 'finish line' for us on moving.  We can continue to live with uncertainty for that long.  We can continue to expend the energy that is required on multiple levels to make a move happen until we reach the finish line.   At the finish line, we will be in another abode ... or not!  Either way, we are ok with it (cause I am not doing this again next year.)

We are lucky that either choice is a good one.

One step back ...

This week we decided to change real-estate agents!  Not that we had signed agreement yet with anyone, but we had been working off and on with one man from last fall  ...  more off than on!!

We met with another agent from a different real-estate company who was recommended by my son.  During our first meeting I felt more at ease about our decision to sell and move than I had during the last 10 months.  I can't tell you what made the actual difference between the two agents, except to say that this new agent is focused on the general real-estate market - which we are stepping into with trepidation - and the other guy was focus on the 55+ senior market which we had decided against.

Maybe all the stars just aligned in the sky at the right time. Whatever the reason, we changed agents this week.

I will tell you this ... doing this whole process without an agent would make my head explode!  I can't believe all the little twists and turns you go through to make a move like this. It is always making trade offs, deal making, massaging the numbers, exploring different options ... it is exhausting and stress filled stuff.  

Why can't selling and buying real-estate be like buy a bathing suit.  You go into the store, look at all the bathing suites on the rack, pick a size and color, try one on, you pick a bigger size (nuts), try on another one, you look for something that covers more of you, (decide you really must lose weight sometime soon - or stop using mirrors), you take it to the check out and pay for it.  Then you can walk out of the store and put it on right away (ok, you find a private place to put it on right away so you don't get arrested.)  Woo hoo!  Done!

Ok, buying a bathing suit is almost as hard as buying real-estate.

*Sigh*  This is bringing the crazy out in me!

Best to have the right agent so I won't go crazy.

Or should I say ...  go more crazy than I already am!  :-)

Progress ... to a brick wall?

The moving saga continues.  

It progresses to a point that may hit a brick wall.

The last few days I took a break from all this effort.  I was too tired to continue. I really need to pace myself now.  My energy levels are not inexhaustible.  Such a sad observation of an older body.  But it confirms the need to make some life adjustments during this year.

The real problem so far has been the lack of properties that fit our needs.  Oh yes, there are bunches out there, more and more every day.  And that is encouraging.  But I know we cannot move into a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom condo that has only 800 to 950 square feet.  I have seen a few.  We need about 1,000 square feet.  And many condos use that limited space very poorly.  They are filled with walls and hallways - instead of maximizing the limited space with an open style floor plan.  It is amazing how many advertise an "open floor" plan and when you see it, the walls seem to close you in.

Then there is the problem of condition.  Neither my husband or I are handy.  We won't move from a townhouse that really is "move in ready" and start over in a condo that was listed as "move in ready" and isn't.  One property needed all new appliances and painting throughout.  All the closet doors would need to be replaced.  And, of course, the biggest hinderance, no access by wheel chair or walker should we need it in the future.  I could not face repeating all the work we did here - to make another place right for us.  If it was a hobby or a talent of mine, maybe, but it isn't.  And that kind of updating requires money when you hire someone to do it for you.

No matter ... something may show up.  It is only April.  We have searched for only a month.  We are early in this process.  But it sure is tiring and challenging.

The downsizing and cleaning continues.  Collection of packing materials continues.  A few boxes have been packed.  The house continues to feel less and less filled - even if only to our eyes.  It has been a freeing process.  One I wish I had done earlier.

But the condo market in our area just isn't cooperating yet.

Although my husband cannot help with any of these efforts ... we have settled together on a plan of action.

Our plan looks something like this ...

• Continue the clean out and downsize efforts until we reach the point that the remaining stuff is what we use all the time and love.  
• Continue to look at condos with the eye to move in 2016.
• When we find a property we are interested in, then put our townhouse on the market to sell.  This approach is chancy because it assumes that the condo seller will wait while we sell our townhouse.  It is possible.  We both agree, however, we don't want to be pushed into buying something else quick (maybe making a bad decision) because we have a buyer for our place waiting in the wings. 
• Come October, if we have not moved, we may wind up settling in place making adjustments to this property to make it almost do-able.  Those adjustments include things like stair lifts and hiring cleaning help.  Certainly this is a fall back position - and not ideal on many levels.  But re-settling in a condo that doesn't fit our needs either is not ideal.  
• On the upside the townhouse and our contents would be in total move-ready condition should something change unexpectedly.

Right now, I think that is the best we can do.