Grand Parenting

Sometimes it is still hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that I have a grand daughter.

She is here in the world.

She is growing in size and personality.

And still ... part of my mind stutters as the idea that 

she is really is here!

So many of my peers have grand children and even great grand children, and have walked this same path before me at a much earlier age.

This is 'old hat' to them.  "Oh yes, grandchildren, part of living if you have children of your own.  

No big deal."

And yet, when you reach a certain point in your life and your children are in their 40's

you start to accept the fact (you force yourself to accept the fact)

that your life choice to be a parent

might not be their life choice.

You learn to accept ... sadly and grudgingly (maybe) that they desire

something different in life - that children are not part of your children's life plan.

You learn to accept.

I always knew I would be a parent.  

The choice to be a parent was hard wired into my very being.

And if I had to choose all over again, I would choose the same path.

Parenthood is a vocation.

It is not everyone's vocation.

Becoming a grand parent is different.  

You have no control over achieving that status.

You can't choose it for yourself.

But one glorious day, after having accepted the obvious ...

a grand daughter graces your life with light and beauty and joy.

Dear Eskarina,

 you cannot begin to understand

 what a miracle you are to your grandmother!