Mark Twain

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do ...
Explore. Dream. Discover." Mark Twain

Monday, June 23, 2025

Test Cases


Since the beginning of May there have been 3 occasions - 3 times when I had to be in public on my own coping with this knee. Looking back, they were like “test cases."

The first test occasion was the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival at the beginning of May.  In that effort I was on a cane.  I headed home one hour after I arrived because I wasn’t confident my knee would hold up.  Soon after in the days following I was on a walker.   Small panic feelings started to build in me.  I tried to keep those emotions out of sight around others, but my pain grew and my world shrunk.

A month later the gel shots began.  Within the first week, hope was back on my radar. After the second shot, it seemed possible I could eventually move away from a cane and walker. In fact, after the second shot, I could move about the condo with no aids most of the time.  It was a stiff halting gait but it was possible.

Ok, then.  Progress.

The second test occasion was last weekend when I visited with my daughter at her house.  Without intending to "test the waters" of my minimal recovery, I decided to stop at a Trader Joes to pick up a bouquet of flowers for her birthday.  Before getting out of the car, I remember sitting for a bit trying to decide should I use the walker or only the cane.  I’d been doing well at home so I picked the cane.  By the time I crossed the parking lot and got on the side walk, I realized I had picked wrong!  The parking lot was on a slope.  The side walk was a bit uneven. There were a LOT of people moving swiftly about me with the shopping carts and kids and bags ... it seemed too much for me to get around.  My knee was not particularly painful (the good news), but my balance was clearly not up to the task of using only a cane in this busy uneven environment (the bad news).  And I was alone - no back up.   I was,`however, already committed to this choice.  Returning to the car for the walker would add many more steps, and I had already learned that “less is sometimes more” when it comes to just how many steps I could take before limiting knee pain might appear. I continued forward focusing mostly on avoiding people so I wasn’t accidentally nudged by someone causing me to fall.  Falling seems like my biggest risk now.  While I made it back to my car without incident (but with the flowers), I was shook by the 15 minute experience.   

I worried that my balance and stamina were lacking more than I was willing to admit.  I felt so uneasy. And unease replaced confidence.  I hated that feeling. 

Today was my third gel shot. It was also my third test case.

Because I was not willing to accept the first 2 tests attempts as “forever” results, I left my walker home. (A bold move, I thought, as I started up the car to leave for my appointment.)  I only brought a cane with me.  At the doctor’s parking lot and sidewalks, the surfaces were flat and even.  There were no crowds to maneuver around.  I wasn’t in anyone’s way so I could take my time.  I made it home with no crisis in confidence.  

So ... while I have to stay at rest for the next 2 days after this 3rd shot - I need to increase my general movement going forward (even if that is only walking around the condo more).  I am definitely not moving enough.  

Before I left, the ortho doc he said this last shot should reach its maximum effectiveness in about 10 days.  “If you find yourself in bad pain at that time, call the office."

In 10 days?  Bad pain?  Guess there is no real magic cure out there - even a temporary one!   

Fingers crossed that he purposely sets expectations low.



14 comments:

Terra said...

Your third test sounds like a success. I hope that third gel shot works a charm. When a knee or hip hurts it is surprising how long it takes to cross a parking lot to a store. Keep up your good work.

Michelle said...

My ortho also set expectations low. I am going to continue working hard so that when I see him at one year post-op (no appointments with him until that time!) I can prove him wrong. Off to take a walk and then do chores, even though my knees do not feel good today, probably because I helped unload hay into the barn yesterday.

Retired Knitter said...

Thanks, Terra. It actually does feel like work. All of it! It really would be nice if I could get this knee replaced in September.

Retired Knitter said...

Since you are only about 2 1/2 months from surgery, I would say you are doing great! Everything I have heard and read says to expect “normal” in knee replacement until a year. I am willing to bet at one year - based on your lifestyle - you will be very happy you did this. Oh, how I wish I could go out for a simple walk. (Well, maybe not today. It is going to be over 100 degrees today in the mid-Atlantic states.)

Marie Smith said...

I can understand the hit to your confidence. It sounds like the get injections are working for you though. I wish you the best of luck, my friend! Confidence will return.

A :-) said...

I'm finding that as I age balance becomes more and more and more important. I've got a simple balance exercise from Dr. Christiane Northrup that I use from time to time. I'll post it on my blog so you can check it out and see if you and your doc think it might be useful for you. It sounds like you are making serious progress and I'm so happy for you!!! :-)

Wendy said...

I think you're right about the need to keep moving but maybe use the walker if you're out and about so you feel more confident about not falling? It will be good if you can get the operation done, hopefully as soon as you can although I know you have your husband to consider too.

Retired Knitter said...

Yes, Marie. It was a first for me. Having a fear or uneasy feeling about being out and about from your home is not healthy. It is the lack of trust in the basic activities of living, like walking and balance, that play games with your mind. I need to get this knee fixed for sure. It is taking away from me more than just my mobility.

Retired Knitter said...

Thanks A: I have simple balance exercises as well but I will check out the ones you post. I think the problem will be the same for all balance exercises, however. It stresses my right knee to stand on one leg. I know the muscles are strong enough (muscles strength is a major contributor to balance), but the tissues in the joint are very damaged and it hurts when it is tasked with more than its 50% of support of my body.

Retired Knitter said...

Thanks, Wendy. yes, I think my lack of movement (due to pain, and then three weeks of treatment) have added to this balance problem as much as using a cane for the last year and a walker for the last 6 weeks or so. I never thought I would EVER look forward to a knee replacement, but current events have really changed my mind.

Michelle said...

Re balance. Core strength is as important as leg strength in keeping your balance, and you can do a lot of core strengthening in a sitting position. I'd focus on that for now (and probably use the walker rather than risk falling).

Retired Knitter said...

Yes, I knew that about core strength and balance. I do one floor exercise aimed at core strength as part of my regular routine. But clearly it isn’t enough. I will check out sitting options. While I resist canes and walkers in the condo, you are probably right. Outside the condo it is probably better to be safe than sorry and use a walker. At least have both with me when I go out - so if the environment isn’t right, I can use the walker.

Becki said...

I have a confidence in you, Elaine - that comes from your obvious strong constitution and even your sense of humor - that all comes through in your words here on your blog. I pray you get some pain relief, and that you'll have the stamina to get through the present situation until surgery is more optimal. Cheering you on!

Retired Knitter said...

Aww Becki, you are so nice. And I think I will bounce back from this current situation. My life long personality has been positive and grateful, as well as stubborn and persistent! (Mostly the last two LOL!). Stubborn and persistent is what gets me past the tough stuff!