The Struggle Is Real - Act 2

Act 1 can be found here!

Now just to review ...
I am an experienced and skilled knitter with many years under my belt.

  I like to think I am able to do absolutely anything if it involves yarn and needles!  

In case you forgot ... pride is never a good thing!

I seem to need that reminder frequently. 

My knitting can bring me down fast ...

into childish temper tantrums!

Sadly, we have not seen the last of those.

Challenge 1 - pick a pattern.  Done
Challenge 2 - pick a yarn.  Done
Challenge 3 - pick a color.  Done 

I began knitting with GUSTO!  (read: happy dance!)

I finished the boy's sweater first.  And from a distance, (say a mile away, ha!) it looks just fine.  

Up close the story is different.  I noticed as I worked a number of little icky things in the knitted fabric I was creating.  Those icky things buggered at my need for perfection.  This was not a difficult pattern, the stitches should be perfect.  All of them.

Something I did messed up these stitches.

But I plowed on.  I ignored the little voice that said "Are you going to accept that?"  My silent answer to that question was - "Oh, those little imperfections will block out."

Ditto - minor for sure but user error!
And it repeated in other places like a spreading plague!  Ugh!

Usually that is a true statement.  Blocking - even blocking acrylic - can make uneven stitches wiggle into place and look normal.  But these samples I am showing are after blocking!  After blocking twice!  As I worked, the number of little irregularities grew, and my frustration grew with it.  But I persisted, because that little voice in my mind couldn't be right!

These little tufts were put in by the manufacturer
when they knotted the yarn.  This skein had a lot of manufacturer joins.
Unfortunately this yarn was not easy to change colors or skeins smoothly
so I opted to keep the tufts rather than making a more ugly join by cutting the tufts out.

After the blocking failed to fix the problem, I actually bought fabric glue to push those little oddities to the inside of the sweater and GLUE THEM OUT OF SIGHT!!   Yes, I had sunk that low.  But as I approached the sweater with the bottle of glue in my hand - my little voice was yelling, "Are you out of your mind?  Glue? Seriously!!  Get real."

I decided to let the boys sweater 'rest' awhile.  A 'time out' seemed like the best choice for me and this sweater.

I began the girl's sweater - with a deliberate effort to make each and every stitch perfect - to avoid the inconsistencies that the boy's sweater had.  (Secretly, I had already decided to do his sweater over again.)  I was convinced that many of the problems in the boy's sweater were due to my carelessness. It had to be me because this yarn is so beautiful, and in many sections it looks just fine.  So it must be me!  That wasn't going to happen again. The girl's sweater would be perfect.  Each and every stitch perfect (damn it all!).  And, again, from a mile way, it is ok.

But close up!  Not so much.  Careful careful careful stitches and still not perfect.  I blocked the girl's sweater at mid point in the knitting just to see what would happen to the stitches.  Not good enough!

Clearly a knitter's problem - but I had been so so careful.

Suddenly in a wave of irrational thought ... I HATE THIS YARN TOO!  I could feel a temper tantrum bubbling up.  Should I just throw it all away.

(Breathe, breathe, breathe.)

This could not be me.  It had to be the yarn.  

(Breathe deeply, chug some aspirin, blink a few times to clear your sight.  Look at the girl's sweater again.  Crap!!)

One and half sweaters completed, all that work and still not acceptable.

(Walk around the condo a few times.  Put the girl's sweater in time out too.  Look at both again in the morning.  Keep breathing.)

The next morning one sane thought filtered into my brain ... I realized that I crocheted with this yarn but never knitted with it - crochet is a very forgiving craft - hides a lot of imperfections.  Knitting - doesn't hide anything.  Knitting errors or irregularities have neon lights, big flashing arrows, and mega horns announcing each and every problem.  All knitters know this.

(Crap, crap, crap.)

This yarn did not deserve to be given away to unsuspecting knitters ... it should be thrown in the trash can!!   Right this minute.  

(Temper tantrum in full display.  Trash can beckoned.  Think.  Go out for a walk until you can act rationally.  And breathe.)

One thing is for sure!  I have not completed Challenge 2 (yarn) or 3 (color.)  I just have the pattern.  It is October, but I have made no further progress since May.

(Maybe instead of breathing - I should try a shot of whiskey!)

Next time ... ACT 3!