The last six months have been hard. Maybe I didn't blog because my focus was aimed at just putting one foot in front of the other ... day after day. Or maybe I lost my blog mojo. Just don't know.
Here is a snap shot view of how I spent my "blogging break" - similar to the school child's assignment of "What I did last summer" only less enjoyable.
- In July Meathead, my dear dear grand dog died, without warning. He was a very old bull dog and we knew his days were numbered, but it was a shock. I still feel that loss deeply.
- In August Grimace, my other dear grand dog, developed a series of seizures that took some time to get under control. Probably not epilepsy. Probably a mass or lesion. He is doing fine for now. I treasure my time with him.
- In September Milo, yet another dear grand dog, developed spinal issues causing weakness in his rear legs. Left uncorrected, he would become paralyzed. He was scheduled for two surgeries - one in November for air way obstructions, typical of pushed-in-face breeds, and one in December for his spine. He is doing well.
- And then the most intensive loss of all began to develop. In November my mother began to fail ... sleeping all the time with loss of appetite and weight loss. She died in December, just after Christmas. That loss is beyond measure.
So it goes without saying that I am pretty much physically and emotionally spent.
I will do one last Through My Caregiver Eyes post at some point later this month to honor my mother and to close out that long series of posts. Beyond that it is too soon to know if or when I will be back to blogging. I need to figure out how to live in my own life and not inside my mom's life.
If you are reading this post, I thank you for visiting.
12 comments:
You've had a rough time of it for sure. Speaking from experience it IS hard to know what to do with yourself if you've been looking after a parent. There is a huge hole in your heart and a huge gap of time you are left wondering what to do with. Eventually the time does get filled up but it takes a while. One thing I learned was that I could now slow down. Everything doesn't have to be done at warp speed anymore. Keep on communicating here.....it's good not to feel alone.
Thank you Delores. You have been a "constant" in my blogging life. I am getting back again to finally reading some of my favorites. You will see me popping back up again in your blog home.
I always read your down to earth and sensible posts. I hope you come back to blogging when you are feeling more rested.
I have also been following your posts for a long time. I'm sorry to hear about your losses and difficulties over the last several months. It's always good to hear from you, no matter how long the interval.
I would not want to lose a dog and a parent within six months. That's just too hard.... Hugs.
Hugs for you and strength to carry on despite all your great and terrible losses in the past year.
Thanks, Una.
I never think of myself as "down to earth and sensible." Glad to know I can do a good fake on occasion. :-)
Smarti, thank you for letting me know you visit. The one thing about blogging is you never know who is out there unless they comment.
Yes, I am pretty much done with 2014! Not the best of years for our family.
Sometimes loss can make you stronger. I do believe that.
No, you're not blogging to yourself, although I think we all feel like that sometimes. I'm so sorry for all your losses. Hang in there.
You have had so many losses I'm glad you decided to blog again. I hope 2015 will be a much better year for you. {{{Hugs}}}
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