Mark Twain

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do ...
Explore. Dream. Discover." Mark Twain

Friday, June 19, 2015

A Visit With Mom

Here I am in June approaching Father's Day, and I am writing about the month of May and what I did on Mother's Day.  Guess I wasn't ready to share that experience until now.

A red rose for my mom.  A white rose for my dad.
On Mother's Day I visited mom - or at least mom's earthly remains.  She is buried at Gate of Heaven Cemetery next to my dad.  It was my first visit back to her grave since she was buried in January.

I know that visiting the grave site after a death of a loved one is an important part of the healing for some people.  I have known friends who held full one-sided conversations with the person who died while standing at the grave. They bring flowers, they clean off the memorial, they say prayers.  It is a very personal connection they feel.

I have never felt that way about where she is laid to rest.  The essence of who she was is no longer on this earth.  Her life and my memories of her are housed inside me.  I carry her with me every day.  Sometimes I look in the mirror and marvel that I look a lot like her.  I do think of her often - usually when I am alone during quiet times.  Sometimes I am in tears as I think of what we lived through together.  Sometimes the memories cause me to smile.  But mostly I am just sad - and miss seeing her face.

Mother's Day seemed like the perfect day for this visit.  I wanted to be sure her grave marker was correct and properly mounted, and that I could remember exactly where her grave was since it is a very large cemetery.  I was distracted at the grave site service in January.

All was well.  At first I was surprised that her grave was not totally grassed over, but then I realized that they probably didn't seed it until late April.  New grass wouldn't grow in January.  Silly me.

The cemetery was busy.  I guess many people choose Mother's Day or Father's Day to visit their parents.  I know I will return next Mother's Day - but I will be back again before then.

Meanwhile ... she is remembered ... and loved ... and missed ... still.


  1. The time has to be right for that first visit to the grave site. It looks like a lovely place but you are right...she is with you always.

  2. You do look so much like your mother!

    We scattered my mother's ashes over a waterfall near her home. I talk to her quite often, sometimes to tell her how much I miss her and the regrets I have. Sometimes to tell her that it's OK that she did or didn't do this or that. I don't know if she's still around, but for a while I think she was. Anyway, l like reminiscing with her now and then.


  3. A beautiful tribute to your mom. You DO look quite a bit like her. I love her beautiful white hair. Both my mom and my step-dad were cremated so no graves to visit. I think of mom often as well. It has been almost 10 years since she died. I can't believe that much time has passed. I still have Richard's ashes in the bedroom. Not ready to part with them yet. But they will be scattered in Colorado sometime in the future.


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