Have you experienced it yet?
A subtle judgement because you choose self isolating behavior in this pandemic even if you aren't sick?
I will say that the last few days have been devoted to getting informed, make decisions, changing plans and preparing! In the "changing plans" arena, I have noticed there is an unexpected sea of opinions circling around every individual "self isolation" decision acted upon.
No matter the subject, there can be a range of opinions all professing to be the "right one" - with little flexibility to admit that there may be no "right" decision for all - just a "right" decision for you.
And so it has been with this Covid-19 virus.
As the world experiences this virus intimately (at the personal social circle level) - it becomes evident very quickly that judgement plays a part. Person A decides everyone is over reacting and goes on as before ... while Person B decides that if you aren't distancing yourself from others and changing your behavior you are irresponsible. Judging, judging everywhere.
Maybe an example describes this situation best.
Suppose you have dinner plans with a large group of friends. One or two decide to drop out due to the virus - and choose to avoid restaurants for awhile. Pay attention to the comments of others who still plan to attend:
- "Well, we can't stop living our lives." Isn't that a kind of judgement upon the person who put caution (staying home) over persistence (going out)? Wouldn't it be better to say ... "Everyone must decide for themselves, of course."
- "Well I have been going out to restaurants for weeks with no problem." Isn't that a kind of judgement ... one that really says, "See, I am well and nothing has happened to me. So it must be ok." *sigh* - Oh ... if the contagion issues were just that simple.
- Or someone says absolutely nothing - offers silence as a response. After all - that doesn't seem judgmental, does it? While total silence doesn't appear to be judgmental on the surface - it can be perceived as is a negative response. Wouldn't someone normally respond "Hey, we will miss you this time around. But I understand if you need to do this."
Another example of judgment is a statement like this: "Well, you can recover. Not every Covid-19 illness ends in death." True. Actually, most recover. After seeing a comparison of flu symptoms and Covid-19 symptoms, I admit thinking, "Gosh - no sore throat - my Flu swollen throat last spring landed me in the ER. I needed steroids to get past that. No sore throat with Covid-19! Ha! I could nail this illness with no sweat!" Well - I have come to the conclusion that my narrow-minded, self-absorbed and selfish thinking self is all wrong. It is not all about ME and my throat! It is about US - and US, folks, is a whole lot of people that could get sick (hospital level sick) at the same time. The rate of serious reaction and death with Covid-19 is higher than the Flu. We could break our health system if we didn't lower the speed and spread of infection through simple self isolation. I also have re-thought that symptom list - shortness of breath? Yikes! I like breathing.
When this new virus popped its ugly head in my awareness - back in January - I was one of those who kept saying ---
"Hey everyone, the flu kills.
It kills thousands every single year.
Fear the Flu!!
This new little virus is just a blip! What is the big deal?
There must be something they aren't telling us!
Ridiculous over-response to a blip!"
Well, it is now March - and I have changed my tune. And now when authorities (and science - let's not forget science) asks me to change my way of acting, responding, preparing - my way of living ... I listen!
And here is a thought!
If we don't take all the appropriate and cautious actions recommended by authorities,
do we really want to end up like Italy?
Ok, I am off my soap box now. I am heading to the kitchen to wash my hands again! I am sanitizing surfaces because we are expecting company this afternoon and I will sanitize again after - I want to protect others as well as myself - even if they don't believe as I do.
And no judgements!
10 comments:
Judging seems to be a social habit most of the world has fallen into. Everybody has an opinion about everything and Covid-19 is just the hot topic right now. Or at least that's my opinion!
I love this post and how you changed your thinking. I agree that we need to think about other people, not just ourselves. Yes, a person could continue as before, get Coronavirus and recover BUT they might infect some one who does not recover. Thank you for pointing this out. Also the aspect of potentially overwhelming our hospitals. Be well my friend.
Thoughts, opinions, information, suggestions . . . on and on.
It gets to be too much, listening to the news.
I try to stay away and then I begin to “wonder.”
I’m taking this time to walk some trails, walk at the lake . . .
So many places to enjoy where there are not bunches of people.
Social distancing has certainly become the buzz phrase for the week!
I am washing my hands . . . lots!
When we know more we change our behaviour. Take care.
Judging is simply a way of saying/believing everyone else should have the exact same beliefs and reactions to a situation as you do. Gulp! How could we ever live like that? Can't we all just remember to be kind to one another? If another person's choices put you in an uncomfortable position and you feel you must tell them so, do it in a respectful way and then remove yourself from that situation. Even if a person's opinion or way of thinking is drastically different than yours, it's not necessary to judge or condemn them. You have a right to your opinion, and so do they. (Even if they are a total doofus!) ;o)
I've learned to just tune most people out. I am super-vigilant because, although I know I would probably get through a bout of the virus just fine, I have my 96 y/o mother, her caregiver (my sister) and my BIL who is ill to think about, too. Not to mention older neighbors, etc.
I haven't, personally, encountered any judging. But the video posted last week (of Dr. Richard Hatchett) gave me some immunity from caring about what anyone else thinks, so if I have been judged, it's possibly it's been lost on me. ;^)
Now, I have encountered some of the comments you've described and I don't think I necessarily perceived it as judging as much as I felt the people were simply ignorant of what governments are attempting to do in slowing down the virus (or why that is important). In the U.S. I believe the messaging on this was soooo bad up until mid-last week. It was so confusing I almost don't blame people for putting their heads in the sand, or rejecting that there was a problem to pay attention to. It made me a tad crazy, but I could understand it on a level.
As for those who, from this point forward, will probably talk about the government overeacting (and saying the same to others choosing to isolate) I take cheer in Dr. Anthony Fauci when he said many times in interviews last weekend that he likes it when people think [they're] over-reacting. It means they're probably doing exactly what needs to be done to attempt to stay ahead of this thing.
The Man, myself and the grandchild we're raising are all high risk so we did shelter in place earlier than most and yes, I felt the subtle judgment strongly from those who weren't taking it as seriously. I find that many still aren't and I don't know how you can be nonchalant at this stage, unless you don't own a TV or computer so are oblivious to what's really going on? I think too many believe they are invincible against a Pandemic, or perhaps don't know the definition of Pandemic and broad consequences? I hear far too many attempting to compare it to Flu or some localized previous Epidemics, as if it is no worse and the World shouldn't be alarmed and taking the precautions all Countries are! Ignorance in this case is not bliss... it's dangerous and irresponsible... there, I'm Judging, because irresponsible behaviors only increase spread and could lead to deaths that might have been otherwise avoided!
Good post. I made up my own mind and froze my gym membership while other people were still going and attending crowded spin cycling and aerobics classes.That was up to them. The only person I mentioned it to was a gym friend who has almost no immune system and is scared of germs at the best of times. I didn't tell her what she should be doing. I just said I probably wouldn't see her until all this is over. The only advice I have given my daughter is to take vitamin D. We will all miss the sun this summer.
"It would be irresponsible to turn away when we need to stay informed, but the weariness of it all" is how I feel too. My Heart particularly breaks for the Medical Professionals and First Responders who are fighting a War without adequate ammunition or weaponry being provided and it's a disgrace that the Govt. is not being more Organized and Proactive. I'm Thankful we earned Pensions, for those that still have to Work or are out of Work and cannot provide, I couldn't even imagine the layers of added stress beyond the actual Virus being terrifying!
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