Mark Twain

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do ...
Explore. Dream. Discover." Mark Twain

Thursday, April 2, 2020

2:00 AM Conversations

2:00 AM

BLADDER:      Yoo Hoo.  Yoo Hoo. Yoo Hoo!!

BRAIN:             Ugh!  EYES, check the clock!

EYES:                Do I have to open up to check the clock?  Its 2:00 AM.  2:00 AM!! What am I
                           doing open at 2:00 am!!??!!

BLADDER:       Well, see, I have this little problem.  I am full.

BRAIN:              Ok, ok. ok. LEGS, wake up. Get moving!

LEGS:                Ugh!  BRAIN, do you know what time it is??

BRAIN:              Yes.  In fact I do.  I gave an order and you are supposed to obey!!

LEGS:                Ok, ok, ok.  Give me a minute.

BLADDER:       Hey, like soon guys ...

LEGS:                Ok we are upright.  Hmm ... but walking .... I am not sure ...

BRAIN:              Get moving!

BLADDER:       Great - now gravity is in play.  You heard the order, LEGS, get moving!!!

LEGS:                BLADDER - Don't be so bossy!! All you have to do is "hold it."  I have to put one
                            foot in front of the other - without falling!!!

BLADDER:       Your lazy feet are going to be all wet - and not in a nice way - if you don't get
                            moving.

EYES:                 Can I close my eyes now?  Wet feet won't be a problem for me.  I really really
                             want to close my eyes now.

BRAIN:              ALL OF YOU STOP YOUR YAMMERING!  We can do two things at one time.

LEGS:                (murmuring) Says the 'mighty brain' who just has to give orders!

BLADDER:       Time is running out, folks.  Just don't say I didn't warn you.

LEGS:                Seriously, I think I need to engage ARMS with a cane!

BRAIN:              hmmm ... now where did I put that cane two years ago?

BLADDER:       NOW?  NOW you are trying to find the cane?? NOW???

LEGS:                Ok, ok.  *sigh*. You guys are such whiners.  I am moving.

BLADDER:       LEGS you are slower than dirt!!  Faster.

(a minute or two later)

BLADDER:       Finally, relief!  Thank you all for the team effort.

EYES:                Right, right.  Let's just all get back into bed so I can close.

LEGS:                On it!!

BRAIN:             I think that cane is in ...

EYES:                Later!!  For gosh sakes you can do that later, BRAIN.

LEGS:               Here we are all!  Back at the bed.  Everyone get comfy.

EYES:               Thank God! Eyes closing now.

BRAIN:             Yes, thank God!  Shutting down operations now!

BLADDER:      (no sounds - fell asleep even before leaving the bathroom)

(silence - for all of 20 seconds)

LEGS:               ZAP!!  Yikes!!  PAIN.  CRAMP!

BRAIN:            You are f*cking kidding me!

***********************

True story! 
 I blame it all on Covid-19!
  Much more sitting now and less moving around 
- so LEGS have gotten a bit unreliable.  

This morning my husband and I took a walk outside.
  We will do that every day until this virus recedes and I can return to my normally active life style.

************************  

LEGS;               Seriously??  BLADDER no longer functions normally and this is MY problem.

6 comments:

Leftycrafter said...

Oh my goodness. So funny....but true. This was me at 1AM today.

Leigh said...

Elaine, thank you! That was hilarious! We're all due for a good laugh!

Michelle said...

You're HILARIOUS!

Marie Smith said...

Staying active is important but difficult. Take care.

Wendy said...

Lol. I can relate to this apart from the cane. Fortunately I don't need one - yet!

Lynne said...

You had me giggling!
That cramp thing in the legs is the pits!
I sometimes get leg cramps doing to much leg work outside cleaning up.
Need to get my circulation in gear too!