So far this 3rd gel shot has been a disappointment. The 1st and 2nd shots both provided some marginal and encouraging improvement. The last shot which was 6 days ago has not provided a positive bump in reducing pain. Fortunately, it hasn’t made things worse either. I know improvement can take longer with this type of treatment. Just keeping my fingers crossed that I don’t lose any progress.
I am trying, however, to be efficient and somewhat productive. While I can’t really do a lot of social activities or any major condo cleaning, I keep focused on doing whatever small things I can do in whatever location I find myself. I do my best to put things back where they belong, complete some minor surface cleaning, and keep my To Do list updated (even if I don’t get to the “doing” part) so that on good (and bad) days, I can get something done. These small actions are really “mental health” crutches for me. Right now I need order and structure in my life - since my health is not orderly.
I do sit more than I would like, but the knee can only withstand so much activity. As a result, I stream a lot of movies and TV shows while knitting or doing other sedentary household tasks like menu creation, bill paying, etc. But to stay focused on movement, I track my step counts. The “actuals” on the step counter were not a surprise. Before the knee issue, I could hit 10,000 steps a day pretty easily with 30-40 minute walks included. When focused on movement, I could reach 11,000 to 12,000 steps with little effort. On days when I didn’t take a walk, my step counts naturally fell in the 5,000-7,000 range. Now things have changed. I noticed my counts fall around 2,100. One day we went food shopping, and my count was around 4,500. While these were pretty low counts, they were higher than I expect. I really thought I wouldn’t break 1,000 steps. I suspect these counts have been typical for me for almost a year because I have been growing into this limited state since July 2024. I find myself hammering down a panic feeling of what this reduced life style is doing to my overall health. I already know it has created balance and fatigue issues (and if I am being totally honest, some depression as well.)
On the upside, my husband’s EGD is 48 hours away. That test will determine not only his future health path, but the timing of mine as well. I know now that surgery is my only next step - but it is a fix I can’t schedule until I know what the course of his treatment.
I am doing my best to not wallow in self pity - which is very very tempting at times. When I force my self to look for positives - I do find them. Because I cannot walk through most of the large grocery stores typical in my area, I have discovered the joy of shopping at a smaller grocery store called Trader Joe’s. They have almost everything I need, they also carry items you can’t find in other stores because the store is almost entirely their Trader Joe’s own brand, and their prices are actually competitive. Grocery shopping has turned interesting again.
Another thought. While I can’t keep up a social calendar - I have more time for binge watching TV shows and movies. I am knitting and reading more and I am back to blogging again.
Recently I recognized another positive (well, not really a true positive but a reflection of a personal concerns I have for myself due to family history.) I am at an age when friends and acquaintances are beginning to fail in even bigger ways than me. One friend has been moved into Assisted Living due to her declining mental state. It has been a bumpy transition for her causing much sorrow and financial difficulties for her spouse. It makes me sad to see that happening to friends - especially a friend who was so smart and well educated. While my husband and I are struggling with some serious life changing health issues, we are still independent. Our financial outlook is more stable because we downsized and sold an over-sized property 10 years ago. Those actions were taken when we were strong, younger and relatively healthy. They made our current situation manageable without extra expense or intervention by our children. But dementia can happen to anyone and it can run in families as it does in mine. No signs of it yet in me - as best as I can judge. So I guess it is a positive for me - until it isn’t. It is, however, a constant shadow that never really leaves.
I find a good reminder to reflect more on the things that are working well - and not dwell on challenges of aging. The balance of working well and not working well becomes harder to manage as time passes. I think my husband and I are still on the plus side of elder life. At least I hope we are.
... until we aren’t!
So in my next few blog posts I am going to share some pictures and non-health related updates! This introspection stuff is too much like “work.” 😆
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