New Year's Eve Reflection - 2017

I like to look back at the previous year - to check out all the shiny parts and the warts - and then file those memories away and start the next year new.

Before I began this post - I checked back on my reflection of 2016 and I summed up the year by answering 20 questions.  It was fun.  This year feels different so I am going to use a few emojis.

😱. In January we got a new President.  *sigh*  I try to avoid political topics in my blog.  But a face 'screaming in fear' seemed to be the only emoji that seemed to sum up my reaction to Trump as our President.  And as of December 31, 2017 - this man has done nothing in his first year in office to change my mind.  Screaming fear of what he will do to our country and our future haunts me.  I thank God in my prayers that our founding fathers had the good sense to create 3 branches of government - to act as checks and balances for 'mistakes' - for he truly is a mistake, one that we must survive  ... hopefully.

😌. In April I turned 70!  I thought a 'relieved' face seemed the best choice for that birthday.  Although I still have problems with the size of that number ... I am pleased to have reach it and I hope for many more years in this life.  You only get to go around once - so I am relieved to have reached 70 and I want to complete the circle and not get cut short.

😞. In May I awoke one morning to a sore swollen knee.  I had problems with this knee in 2013 - and it resolved with PT - but not this time.  Eight weeks of PT and I still walked with a cane.  I think 'sad' face fits this extended event that ate up my summer.

😿. In June our dear dear Max died.  Max was one of two cats, brothers actually.  For 9 years of his life we treated him for degenerative kidney disease with fluids to flush his kidneys.  At age 11 he lost his battle with that disease, but he was a bit of a success story - as most cats don't last that long.  It never is easy to say goodbye.  We miss him still.  However his brother, Wally, seems to have come out of his shell and is an entirely different cat ... friendly, outgoing, enjoying life completely.  Go figure.  Guess they weren't as close as we thought.

💝. In July my son and his wife announced they were expecting a child.  HOLY COW!  I am going to be a grandmother!  Me!  I had given up that hope a while back.  A heart wrapped in a bow seemed to sum up this wondrous news.  And it is still a bit unbelievable to me, despite the fact my daughter-in-law is clearly growing another person inside her body.  February can't come fast enough for us.

😡.  In September, after 8 weeks of PT - with minimal improvement - an MRI revealed that the left knee had a miniscus tear and could only be fixed with surgery.  In some ways it felt like I had wasted my summer and that was frustrating.  But now I had a real diagnosis, so taking a positive action to fix the problem - well - it changed my angry face into 😐 - neutral face!  Get the darn thing fixed!

😁. In October and November I was back in PT and improving.  But the beauty of recovery was that I now had time to knit and knit and knit - to my heart's content.  And I finished a large number of projects.  During that time I realized that despite my sampling of other related crafts (weaving and spinning) over the years, knitting continues to be my true love.  💗💖💟💖. Without knitting I would be lost.  My knee might not be fully functional, but my hands are fine - I can knit!

💪. In December I was discharged from PT.  I am better, but not perfect.  I am working towards perfect - and both the doctor and the therapist said it might take a year.  In the meantime, I am doing my exercises,  going to the gym and joining an exercise class in January.  When this knee finally starts feeling like the other knee, all the other parts of my body will be up to speed as well.

That was my 2017!  Highs and lows.  Normal really.  I will say that after this year - I understand better what physical set backs do to a senior citizen.  This knee repair was minor, but it set me back more than I care to admit, and the struggle to regain what was lost just takes more time at this age.

I have often started and stopped exercise programs over the years.  This time the seeds that I have planted in 2017 to improve my health I will continue to cultivate in 2018.  Now I don't feel I have a choice - not if I want to continue to live a normal life!

Goodbye 2017!

I learned a few lessons from you this year.

Who knows what 2018 will teach me.

💞

Made it!

Anyone who has read my blog for awhile knows that this holiday has become a hurdle I struggle to get passed.   By the time I get to the 27th or the 28th, I am thrilled to be passed another Christmas.

I love the fact we are over 360 days away from the next Christmas.  I am happy to see the holiday decor begin to disappear from the stores and homes.  The holiday music that has been playing 24/7 on my favorite radio station (since before Thanksgiving, for gosh sakes), finally will revert to normal "70,s 80's, 90's and hits of today."   I know, I know ... I hear whispers of "grinch."

Well, let me assure you.  I am not a grinch.  I value the holiday for what it should be - a celebration of the birth of Christ.  I love making someone smile with a specially chosen or hand made gift.  I find peace in an evening walk around my neighborhood to see the holiday lights.  But sadness does follow me.

It hasn't always been that way.  If life delivers enough hard hits during the holidays ... it can change how you respond to them.  My dad died 3 days before Christmas in 1970.  My mom died 3 days after Christmas in 2014.  And in the last 10 years, my mom spent many holidays stuck in Assisted Living or a nursing home - because she was too disabled to get home.  I know neither parent would want those experiences to ruin my holidays.  The holidays aren't 'ruined,' but they are changed, and maybe permanently so.

Looking up - this year's Christmas was easier than last year's Christmas  It was our second year in the condo.  I have stopped grieving the move from our townhouse of 30 years.  I still wish life hadn't made this move necessary. Stairs and a recently blind husband are just a bad combination.  So I am passed that loss and really appreciate the convenience of the condo.  I 'visit' my parents right after Christmas every year.  The trips are filled with less sorrow now and more just a flood of memories of my life with each of them.  I think it is good to allow those memories to surface (the good and the bad) - and to remember where I came from.  It gives me some comfort to know they are both beyond suffering now.  And we - as a family - are celebrating a soon to be born child.  Maybe this grand child will help heal some of those hard hits that make this season so hard for me.  Maybe life is finally giving me a mark in the positive column with a new little life to cherish.

Regardless ...  This year ... I made it!  Passed another one!

Count Down to C Day

Look at the calendar!

( ... waiting while you check.)

Notice anything?

No?

Go back and check that calendar again.

( ... waiting,  ... checking my finger nails,  ... rubbing eyes, ... picking nose ... 

well maybe not that last one.)

Yes ...  you saw it ... counting today, we are 3 days away from Christmas Day.  And for me, we actually celebrate on Christmas Eve ... so I got 2 days left in my own personal count down.

I don't know about you but I have a holiday list ... and I am checking it twice.  And that was only in the last 2 minutes.  'Cause there is this frick'en (#@**##) deadline!! I really hate deadlines.

Christmas is such a BIG deadline.  I gave up deadlines when I gave up working for a living.  Many newly retired folks give up loud alarm clocks and demanding bosses.  I gave those up too, but at the top of my give up list is deadlines.  And yet, every year ... there it is ... that C Day Deadline that just can't be wished away.

So what does my check list look like on this day - 2 days in advance of my deadline.

✔   Tree is up and decorated.
✔   Decorations are out.
✔   Gifts are wrapped - major ones, anyway.
✔   And the first batch of cookie dough is in the refrigerator.
✔   Make 3 more batches of cookie dough.
✔   Bake all those cookies.
✔   Finish gift shopping.
✔   Prepare menus.
✔   Food shop.
      Make Liver Cookies for the grand dogs
      Cook Christmas Eve family dinner.
      Share gifts on Christmas Eve.
      Cook Christmas morning breakfast.
      Visit mom at Gate of Heaven Cemetery.

I live with lists.  They can be good or bad.  This Christmas list is a good list, 'cause most of the things are checked as done.  It settles my mind to see that in black and white (Ha!  or green in this case.)

I am going to be all right.

I think.

One last to-do I just remembered!
     Wish my blog friends a peaceful and happy holiday season, no matter what you celebrate.

To my dear blog friends

Have a peaceful and happy holiday.

Be sure to carve out some time for yourself.

Ok, now I can mark that item as complete as well.  

✔    Wish my blog friends a peaceful and happy holiday season, no matter what you celebrate.

        

Oops ... another to-do!

        Carve some time out for me.  (Need to stop now ... my to-do list is growing!  

                   If I am not careful this list will become a bad list (more un-✔ed  than ✔ed

                   items) 😁

A Gift for a Grand Nephew!

So what is wrong with this picture!!

Ok, that first question isn't really fair.  So let's unwrap the package.

You see, while I was laid up with a bum knee, I did a lot of knitting!

But you already knew that.

And I promised to show you everything I knit. 

 But I failed to show you this last little project.

Since it was a Christmas gift for a special little boy, I wrapped it with all the other gifts.

And THEN, I remembered ... 'Silly person, you didn't take any pictures.'

No choice.  It needed to be unwrapped.

The sweater is for my grand nephew, a sweet little guy, named Will.

And because I couldn't just do a single sweater, I made a second sweater for a teddy bear!  

A matching sweater.

I think together they make a pretty cute Christmas gift.

I am especially fond of the buttons.  

They sort of look woven or maybe like knitted stitches.  

Both sweaters are made of the same yarn and have the same buttons.

Ok, that is it!

Now I need to rewrap this gift!

See what I do for you readers!!  

Cheers.

A Fearsome Guardian

A guardian at the door to my grand daughter's bedroom is this magnificent dragon.  He sits upon "The Luggage," another guardian! (see previous post for an explanation of The Luggage.)

The Dragon was purchased by my son at a toy store near where he works.  The store was going out of business and he got it for a reduced price, but I suspect he would have paid full price.

In person, it is a pretty amazing figure.  Magnificent in his details.

Just check out the wings - an impressive wing span I am sure.

Fearsome teeth!  

All the better to eat monsters!

Massive feet - needs a pedicure, I think.  

But those nails will rip any monster apart in a Nono-second!! 

 Scales are soft to the touch.  But don't be fooled. This guardian means business!

Some of you might wonder why would we want to give a little girl a jumbo dragon ... even if he is a fine specimen and will serve as an excellent guard.  Well, the short answer is ... dragons are for girls.  Just look at The Game of Thrones TV series (also a series of books.)  That story includes 3 very serious fire breathing dragons and they belonged to a character called The Mother of Dragons - a girl! Ha!

Truthfully, Dragons hold a rather large place of honor in my family.  My husband and a group of his friends play a monthly game similar to the original game of Dungeons and Dragons.  If you aren't familiar with that style of gaming, it is a story based game populated by imaginary characters that are created by those playing the game.  There is no board - but there are dice of various shapes and each person has a character sheet that describes his or her character's skills and attributes.  A 'dungeon master' or game leader - typically my husband - creates the fantasy world with a story line, goals and achievements.  Participants improve their characters' skills and attributes by gaining experience during the game - if they don't die, that is!   It is a game of the mind and the imagination.

The original game of Dungeons and Dragons was created back in the 70s.  Our family and friends have met to play this game or similar versions of this game for all these years.  Our son and daughter-in-law are part of this group - and my son has played with this group since he was probably 7 years old.

So a dragon is a perfectly normal thing to give to a girl whose father and grandfather have devoted so much time to.  Maybe when she is 7 years old, she may desire to pull up two chairs - one for herself and one for her dragon, and join in the game.  And if not, what better guardian could a little girl have than her own personal dragon to scare away the monsters!

And besides,  it doesn't hurt that this dragon is darn cute!

The Luggage

Turns out I am not the only one who is making things for this new baby girl to our family.

My son has an amazing creative side to his nature.  He has done wood working, leather projects, and recently he has taken up print making.  His most recent project is a chest of drawers he painted for his daughter.  The chest originally came from Ikea, and he painted to look like a fantasy character called The Luggage from Terry Pratchet's Discworld Series of books.  

The Luggage is best described as follows:

"The Luggage is a trunk with legs. It is made of sapient pearwood, and is immensely faithful. Its first owner was a tourist called Twoflower, who at the end of The Light Fantastic, gave the Luggage over to Rincewind. It appears to hold many dimensions, and has often swallowed people that have tried to hurt its owner."

He shared this creation on Facebook - and in the explanation he said The Luggage was created to "protect his baby girl from monsters."  And we all know directly from our own childhoods that monsters do hide under the beds of children if there is no one there to protect them. Looks like this bedroom will be safe from monsters!

I have included a link below that provides further explanation regarding The Luggage.  If you are not familiar with Terry Pratchet and his Disc World Series you might get a better understanding by checking out this link.  I have read a few of the books and they are great fun.

The Luggage

An Unpleasant Truth, an Update, a Rant and Lessons Learned

I knew about this unpleasant truth before my knee surgery.  I watched it play out in my mom's last years of life.

The Unpleasant Truth:

Simply stated, 

after a certain age, any major health event (like a surgery) can result in a negative impact

 on your previous function and energy levels. 

With my mom I called it ... "a new normal."  

Recovered ... but at a lower level than before.  

While I watched this gentle downward slope occur in my mom after every illness, I simply would not believe it could happen to me.  I was younger and stronger (then), and as we all know - younger folks usually have a fixed (and sometimes unrealistic) opinion about their aging years.  So it was with me.  I would not give in, not give up, not stop trying ... I would not!  And I haven't, but ... now I actually am older.  My attitude is still stubbornly the same, but my body as other ideas.

With this knee surgery, I may have experienced a little bit of that "new normal" and I am not happy about it.

The Update:

Two weeks ago I was discharged from Ortho care - I was recovered, and my flexibility and strength were "within normal range for my age."  Translation?  You aren't in your 30s anymore.  Ha! I was fine with being discharged, but I countered the 'normal for my age' comment with ... I am not normal for where I was 6 months ago.  They said complete recovery will come with time.  But, I countered, will my left knee be as flexible as my right knee 'with time?'   "Hmm," they responded, "maybe."  That was not the answer I wanted.

This week I was discharged from PT.  My progress has plateaued, I was doing well, and I will only "improve with time and regular adherence to an exercise program." Ok, I am fine with that. Will I improve enough so that both knees are the same?  "Maybe."

Professional opinion?  It may be another 5 or 6 months before the symptoms resolve.  (Do I hear a 'maybe?')

The Rant:

Crap!  'Maybe' is such a weaselly word.  Not 'yes', not 'no', just somewhere in the middle?  or maybe yes? or maybe no?  Crap, crap.  I am just not a 'maybe' person.

I want my left knee to be as good and my right knee. And I have done way more  over 6 months than just 'wish' that was so.  I was adamant from day one when I knew something wasn't right. I would get this condition fixed ... I wouldn't let it set me back.  Over 6 months I did the doctor thing ... the X-ray, meds thing ... the PT thing ... the MRI thing ... the surgery thing ... the PT thing, AGAIN.

The Orthopod said my knees "are great."  "Fix this small problem and you will be good to go."

BUT I am not 'good to go' yet!!  My knee still swells, gets stiff, hurts at times.  My left leg is not as strong as my right yet.  My general stamina is much reduced because I couldn't do aerobic exercise.   I can't sit too long, I can't stand too long, I can't walk too long!  I can't get down on the floor easily.
This better not be my "new normal."  I will know better in May - 6 months from now.

Lessons learned:

• Avoid all optional surgeries if at all possible at any age, but certainly after 70.  Sometimes the 'fix' is not a 100% fix no matter what the medical professionals say.  I still would choose this surgery because now I don't walk with a cane anymore.  (That's one in the positive column.)
• Stay active - exercise, exercise, exercise, 'cause it doesn't take that much down time to set you way way back.  Be at least strong going into any medical procedure.  It can't hurt.
• The term 'new normal' is a misnomer.  It sounds somehow like an ok status.  It isn't!  The unpleasant truth:  'new normal' is really 'a step backwards.'  

Ok, done!

Time to close up the computer! I have exercises to do!  :-)

Talk again soon!