So here goes the saga of the stumble.
First I had to find time to squeeze it in the hours of my life. As a retired person that should be a piece of cake. It wasn't. I persisted. And the walking sessions became more frequent.
Really. If it is something that is worthwhile doing - you find the time. That is the simple truth. And that is what I kept telling myself. So I found the time.
Then I discovered that my FitBit battery was dead - and I couldn't find the cable recharger anywhere. Yes, yes, yes, I know! The walk still counts even if I don't know how many steps I am taking. But it sure puts a crimp in my enthusiasm when I can't confirm just how active I was or wasn't at the end of the day. So I sat down and order two cables! Problem solved .... until I lose those! (Maybe I will order a few more.)
Then yesterday I visited the doctor.
You see, I have noisy knees! They click and crack and generally talk to me! I generally don't listen! They talk. I ignore. It was a "marriage" that worked for years. Then the beginning of September the noise got louder - added to the clicks and cracks was the occasional pain. One morning I couldn't walk down my stairs very well. The left knee was talking in a very loud voice. I assumed injury. No matter. Most things get better if you just give them enough time (ignore them). It did get better. Then it didn't. More time. Got better again. Then it came back. The noise level was louder and more frequent. But I had perfected ignoring to a masterful skill level.
I am the Black Belt of Ignoring. Ninja Ignoring!
And there was Advil ... my best friend ... ! It cured things some! I was happy. Until 6 hours later when I wasn't happy!
And so I made a doctor's appointment 2 weeks ago - but the knee got better before the visit - so I canceled it. Then it came back again.
So ... yesterday I visited the doctor. I actually stepped into the office ... thinking the whole time ... "You only gave this knee two months to get well. Maybe you should cancel this appointment." This is a Ninja technique.
I talked. He listened.
He looked first at my good knee - the right one. Said ... "Sounds like a little arthritis in that knee."
"Hey, doc ... it is the left knee that hurts ... leave my good right knee alone! It only 'talks' some. It is not a problem."
He looked at my left knee. "That knee is swollen."
I looked down and sure enough. My left knee was bigger than my right knee. Hmmm... Was I born that way and just never noticed? Would he believe me if I said that?
Would he commit me if I said that???
I looked again. Yup! Swollen! I never actually looked at the knee. So much for being "in tune" with my body.
He tried to bend it - it bent - mostly - just not as much as the other one! Has it always been that way?
Don't go there, I said to my mind as I searched for other lies.
And it hurt when he bent it. Well ... in truth ... it was hurting before he bent it!!
that is what is missing in my relationship with my body
"Definitely bilateral arthritis of the knees," he proclaimed.
Double Crap! I was hoping for an injury! You know, maybe take a few of those miracle pills, strap on a knee bace, heat, cold, maybe a little surgery ... whatever. Crap, crap, crap.
So ... an xray was ordered, an orthopedic surgeon appointment was recommended, start taking glucosamine chondroitin, maybe injections into the knee, physical therapy and painful conversations with my knees seem to be in my future. And he thought time spent in a gym keeping my muscles strong would be a good idea. Just Great! I really don't like gyms.
Am I surprised by any of this? Not really. I am a cookie cutter copy of my mom who has struggled with arthritis in her knees for many more years than I will struggle.
But I have hung up my Ninja Ignoring Black Belt. Can't ignore the knee any more. I will do everything they say and will remain active because that is what works with arthritis - once you stop moving you freeze up. I have seen that first hand in my mom.
Ok knees, I am listening now.
A walking obstacle?
I think not!