Fast Approaching ...

Sorry this update is delayed in coming. The surgery is this Thursday (OMG so soon) and (unless I have beaten down my true feelings on this), I am doing fine.

Actually I feel great physically as well.  In fact, I am thinking of asking the surgeon to give me a picture of this tumor that has caused all this hub-bub because other than all the doctors' visits and testing (and the results, of course), I feel no different.  I could make a case that it is all a sham!    Well, not really. I believe everything I have been told, but a small part of me still wants a picture.  

Of course, in the result of the last test - the MRI -  there is more going on in my abdomen beyond that tumor.  

When you start poking around in the body of a 76 year old person - you are bound to turn up something. It showed 2 things:  1) small multiple cysts in my kidneys and my liver - and 2) some liver enlargement.  The enlargement was described by the radiologist as "fatty liver.”   Well, crap!  So I did my web searches on cysts and fatty liver, and it raised even more questions.  Does this ever end!!  I have so many questions about this new development (well “new to me” development as I have probably been carrying around a tumor and cystic organs for some time.)

Nothing they found, however, changes the surgery.  We are a “go” for that.  I did discover that fatty liver can be found in 30% of Americans on SAD - the Standard American Diet - and most don’t even know they have liver problems until liver damage starts to show up in blood work. Guess I am “lucky” I discovered this problem while looking at the tumor, which was discovered while looking at my GI system!!! *sigh*  Ranting over now.  I found the diet recommended for turning fatty liver around - and healing the liver.  I started that diet a week or two ago.  It is basically just a very healthy diet of veggies and fruit, limited complex carbs and no added sugar or salt, and lean proteins like fish, chicken, turkey and soy, no dairy, no red meat, and no alcohol. Boring, but fine with me if it keeps me around another 15 years.  And my internist will be very pleased if I can stick to that diet.  I found a bright spot in that diet!  Coffee is good for the liver.  I feel like I was just given a lollypop!!  (A lollypop without sugar, of course.)  But questions still remain on how I got here and if this is related in any way to my strong family history of Polycystic Kidney Disease.  I see a Nephrologist in September.  The first appointment is for an hour!  Good, because by then I will have so many questions he might not get time to answer if it is less than an hour.

That’s the story so far.  I am eager to get this tumor out and start healing.  I will admit to a bit of nerves mostly because I am the oldest I have ever been for a surgery (and I have had a few surgeries.). They were all successful with no complications so I need to focus on that.

And have I mentioned my amazing kids (who are not really kids being in their 40s.). Since I will not have my husband’s assistance at the hospital or at home due to his disability, my son is taking me to the hospital and will be the designated family member to remain until the surgery is over.  Over the weekend we discussed departure times and other details ... and he said, "Oh, and mom, the night after surgery I will be right across the street.”  Me ... looking blankly. - what??? I had an instant vision of him outside the hospital standing on the sidewalk until visiting hours opened up again. (I know, crazy mother thoughts.)  He went on.  "I have booked a room right across the street in a hotel."  Well ... I really didn’t know what to say at first.  I was so touched.  And it stunned me even more to realize I took comfort in the knowledge that he wouldn't be far.  Maybe I am more anxious than I am willing to admit.  And then there is my daughter who will come to be with her dad the night after my surgery - and who plans to stay with us both until I am able to putter around for myself.   And my sister who plans to show up with meals for us the day I get discharged.

Truly, I am bursting with pride at the adults my “kids” have become.  They are the very very best things I have done with my life. My sister, who has been through much much more than this, dealing with the polycystic kidneys she inherited from our mom, cooking for us (which my husband is secretly looking forward to because my sister is a great cook.). I really do struggle with accepting all of that help while at the same time I am so very grateful for it.

Next time I blog - I will be cancer free!  See you guys on the other side.