I guess I took an unexpected pause ...
Not the pause that was planned or refreshes ... just a pause to cope.
Last I wrote was September 21 - and I was in the middle of a "condo tour." I will get back to that with the next post. But this post is about the "pause." Hard to believe it is now November 6.
Our townhouse settlement date (or the giving away of a "child" I birthed) was scheduled for October 27. As we move closer and closer to that date my focus on anything was a failure. Of course, I had tasks to do related to the sale. I visited the townhouse off and on, meeting with contractors, sweeping and raking periodically, collecting mail, chatting with the neighbors. It kept me connected and engaged, but it also kept me emotionally tied to the property.
I didn't sleep well the night before settlement. I didn't think I would.
The day of settlement my husband and I arrived in the lobby of the settlement company. As we reached the front desk a man passed by us and approached a young couple sitting on a couch. I heard him mention something about " .... here for Setting Sun Way property." I turned and said we were also here for Setting Sun Way property. I met the lovely young couple who was going to buy my dear townhouse. And when I say "lovely" ... I totally mean it. Before the settlement began, the woman said that she "thought she knew my daughter" and that I looked just like her. Turns out she did know my daughter. They went to high school together. She and her parents had lived in this neighborhood back then and she loved the area. This couple were very very excited about moving into the townhouse. She commented several times what good care I had taken of the unit. Basically, she said all the right things.
The knot in my stomach began to unwind. Here was the perfect young family (they had a 10 month old child), who wanted to make a home in our home ... in our neighborhood ... around our neighbors ... because she loved it.
You cannot possibly imagine just how relieved I was to meet this perfect people - who I would have chosen if I could - to live in my home. When we left settlement I began to let go of the grip of steel I had on that townhouse for so long. My "child" was going to a good family.
On Halloween I was invited back to Setting Sun Way by a few of my former neighbors. Halloween is a big deal in that community. It was just one big happy mad house. The new owners of the townhouse were just returning from somewhere and we talked for a bit. My former neighbors came up and introduced themselves to the new owners. It was a warm and welcoming time. Before I moved on, the woman asked me if I would like to come in and see what they had done so far inside. I declined. As I told her, I got through settlement without tears, not sure I could go inside now without tears.
I am beginning to feel a certain level of comfort in this condo. It may never reach the level of "home," but it will become more than just "where I am living." Now I am thinking about blogging again. I am beginning to bring out some hobbies I previously abandon. I am changing out some appliances that need replacing. I am redoing some of the window treatments. I am setting down some roots.
And I am not visiting the townhouse. It is now busy with other folks. :-)
Next time I will continue with the condo tour, and we will visit the guest room.
Talk again soon.