The Second Day

I knew before I hit the bed the night before, that I was going to this Oncology appointment with my husband.  Our son was already prepared to do the driving.  While I was pretty sure I could get us to the car, that I could drive and get into the Oncology practice, I had to admit there was a chance I would not be in good enough shape to get us home.  Oh, and how true that was.

I prepped for this appointment.  I borrowed a walker from a neighbor.  On the walker I was steady and in less pain.  I had been icing the knee so the swelling was reduced and I was taking the full dose of 8 hour extra strength Arthritis meds. I wrapped it in an Ace bandage.  I slathered on Voltaren Gel. Before we left I took 200mg of Advil.  All anti-inflammatories like Advil are on the “no-no list” for reduced kidney function patients like me.  But my reduced function is not disease related.  It is lower because there is only one kidney.  Still the restriction was in place and I chose to break the rules.  I needed it for this appointment. I asked my son to bring some Advil - since we didn’t have any in the house. I doubt it even occurred to him to challenge me.  He and I are “apples off the same tree.”  He bends the rules all the time.  😂

Leaving the condo I felt this was going to work.  All the meds, the pain gel, the ice, the ace bandage and the walker combined!! It still hurt but it wasn’t a “bite-a-bullet” hurt.  The thought crossed my mind - again - I feel well enough, I could probably do this without help.  (But little voice persisted: there was still that trip home to worry about.)

Once in the doctor’s parking lot our son helped us out of his car as close as he could to the front door.  My husband and I began to make our way while my son parked his car.  The distance wasn’t terribly far, but it was more than I had done previously.  By the time we got to the external doors, our son was behind us.  The Oncology Practice was near.  Once my husband was seated in the waiting room I went to sign in.  At some point I looked up and my son was standing by a group of wheel chairs, point at them with raised eye-brows indicating ...”What do you think?”  I nodded yes.

I was done.  

I really need to listen to the adult portion of my brain a bit more.  I knew an independent round trip to the doctor’s office wasn’t possible at that point.  But I kept pushing the idea that it might be doable. Thank God our son was with us.

Getting us into an exam room was a bit of a side-show event for the occupants of the waiting room.  My blind husband doesn’t walk independently outside of our condo.  He depends on someone beside him (me).  The Me - the one in a wheel chair!!  And the Me - who wasn’t particularly skilled wheeling a wheel chair.  😂.  Which became evident to the “I-can-do-anything” Me when I tried to go forward and I actually moved backward. *sigh*  So we went into the exam room in stages.  Our son said - I’ll be back for you.  (As I waited, it passed my awareness that I was so close to the exam room but NOT actually IN the room. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at that point.). He did return, however, as promised. I never doubted him really.

The visit went as expected.  We already knew the diagnosis.  The treatment plan needed to be flushed out.  My husband has opted to omit surgery and go with chemo and radiation treatments only.  The doctor agreed with his decision.  He indicated that a surgical fix in our age group has a high morbidity rate.  Once the surgery was described, I agreed.  Next step is Staging - finding out if the cancer has spread.  He is scheduled for a Pet Scan.  Chemo and radiation will follow soon after - unless it is Stage 4 - which means it has spread too far for treatment, and palliative or hospice care is the appropriate next step. Obviously we are hoping (praying) for a Stage 1.

When the visit was done, the doctor helped us by wheeling me toward the check out desk.  Our son helped his father.  It crossed my mind that not only was an independent round trip impossible, but we probably would have benefited from 2 helpers.  After check out, our son helped my husband out to the car and a staff member in the office wheeled me out.  (Yep!  2 helpers.)

The lady who wheeled me out commented that she saw us arrive and wondered just how we managed to do this (blind man on the arm of a woman struggling to walk on a walker - what a sight we must have made) - until she saw our son.  I resisted telling her the truth - that a hard-headed, stubborn, stupid witch of a woman was hell-bent on making it happen!  I just sweetly said that I probably underestimated the help we would need.  I left out the hidden truth that I thought we could do this with no help!!!  😂😂😂

I have enough medical appointments on my schedule between myself and my husband - I don’t need to add psychiatry!

Those are pretty much the external details. More on the internal details and emotions ... next time.