S is for Swedish Death Cleaning
Bet I got your attention with that title.
It is a real thing and it caught my attention as well.
Swedish Death Cleaning for Beginners:
How to Declutter and Downsize your way to a happy home and life,
by Sara Hodges.
WOW - I thought. Death Cleaning! How is that different from any of the other declutter, downsize, minimize, frugality readings I have done? Can there possibly be anything new "under the sun" on this series to topics that I haven't seen yet.
The simple answer is yes - and I have actually seen this done but did not realize what it was!
I am a long time down-sizer, a sometimes frugality proponent, and a dabbler in the minimalist movement! I have done my fair share of reading on all those topics from The Complete Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn (from the 1990s) up to and including Marie Kondo's recent best seller The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.
Since the 1990s I have cleaned out, organized, downsized, decluttered and drove my self totally nuts - making room in a 2,200 square foot town house for returning family members to live. First it was for my mother-in-law who was in hospice for lung cancer (yes, I was her caregiver too), then for a returning son after military service, then for a daughter during a down time, then for my mom who was no longer able to live on her own, and finally for myself and my husband as we did the traditional senior citizen downsize - to move into 1375 square feet of condo space. I thought I knew a lot about this topic - 'cause I had lots of practice.
What could this little book offer me - except the answer to what was 'death cleaning.'
Grims-ville! I thought.
So, of course, I read on!!
What the heck is Death Cleaning?
The author says it best on the first page of Chapter 1 ...
"To put it simply, the art of Swedish death cleaning is about ridding your home of possessions that you don't want, need or use, so when you do happen to kick the bucket, your loved ones are not left with the grave emotional task of shifting through 80+ years of your stuff. It's a blatantly honest approach to decluttering your home and a very transparent way to look at all the things that you possess."
Light bulb time!
Ok, I get it!
Clean out your own stuff
So your relatives don't have to do it for you.
I will say that the words "art" in relation to throwing things out ... and "kick the bucket" in relation to dying - made me smile a bit.
Before you say why should I care about Death Cleaning - let me share a story about an uncle that my cousin shared with me.
My Uncle Walter died the month before my mom. His son, my cousin, called me a month later to offer his condoences. We hadn't chatted in probably 30 years. But we both lost parents within a month of each other. It was good to talk.
Uncle Walter lived in the same house he brought his bride to in the 1950s. He died in 2014 and his wife pre-deceased him by many years. You might anticipate, expect, understand ... if his house was filled to the brim with all the little items of living until 90 and on his own as a widower for many years. But you would be wrong. At his death, he left behind a totally cleaned out house - with only the items he needed to live. His closets were totally bare except for his one personal clothes closet, excess furniture was gone, surfaces were totally clear. My cousin said when they entered the house after his father's death to prepare it for sale - they discovered the wonderful gift he left behind for his children ... a house that required no cleaning, no repair and no clean out! NONE!
My Uncle did 'death cleaning' without knowing about this topic or book.
So death cleaning may not be important to you - but it is a wonderful last gift to give the ones who love you.
Yes, I have swept my life clean of things that were redundant and unnecessary in downsizing to this smaller condo. But I am not done yet. My downsize journey going forward with be for a different audience other than myself. It will be for my children - so when they are in the midst of grieving (after I kick the bucket,) they won't have to be further weighed down by the weight of all my stuff.
15 comments:
I love this idea. When my grandma died, I was one of two cousins who got there early enough to help her three kids (my mom, my cousin's dad) go through the house. She had downsized a lot, but many of the mementos remaining were already tagged with who she wanted to receive the item. Much easier than solicitors or sorting things for financial value.
Found you through AtoZ. Stop by and read a new story for each letter!
Doesn't Speak Klingon
I have never heard of anyone leaving as fine a gift as your Uncle Walter did! In order to do that myself, my husband will have to predecease me, because he thinks it's the child(red)'s JOB to do that. :-/
There is some of this going on in my family for sure! I like this idea - tis true a lovely gift to leave behind
You're A -Z is going well!
Wren x
Michelle - you could always leave your son a note attached to your will that says - pay back for your teen age years!! -:)
ugh i have done the opposite waahhh! and i dont even have kids!
I know a lot of people who would have loved that gift at the end. It's a great idea.
Ah, Elaine, he deserves so much MORE! ;-) Like TRIPLETS!!! Besides, he hoards more than Rick and I combined....
I was reminded of this by a paternal aunt. I was showing off some scrapbook pages that I was so proud of. She said, "No one will care about those pictures when you're gone." I thought she was being cantankerous but on further thought came to appreciate that statement. It's true; my son will know ~20% of the people in those pictures. I came to apply that statement of my aunt's to many things and often ask myself before a new purchase - Is this something I really need/love or is it just one more thing for my son to throw out at the time of my death? It's kept me from bringing extraneous things into my home.
Such a wonderful gift to those you love!
In the midst now. The first run, anyway :)
It just feels so good!
I'm not sure I could pare down everything to the extent your uncle did but I hope I would make it clear to my kids that they should feel no guilt about whatever they do with my stuff.
I like my things though and couldn't get rid of everything except the bare essentials. :)
I told my son to just have a auction when we die and get rid of everything. My daughter surely wouldn't want anything of ours!! :(
These words for one to think hard about them. I like the idea of cleaning the house from things one hardly uses. I have tots and more tots that belongs to our children...one lives in another country and wants to use our place as storage it seems. The other still living with us...sigh!! Thanks for sharing.
My parents were both packrats in their different ways. My brothers and I without discussion had come to the same conclusion, "I'm not going to keep all the stuff I have." I won't say I've reached your uncle's point, but for years I've tried to make it for every bag of stuff that comes in a bag has to go out. I'm a long way from finished. Thank you for a timely reminder.
I keep wondering about Swedish Death Cleaning, more because I don't have anyone to take my 'stuff'. I think it would be good if I got it to people who would enjoy it now, rather than trying to figure what the blazes to do with it when I am gone... Hmm.
Cat
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