Mark Twain

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do ...
Explore. Dream. Discover." Mark Twain

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Not an Empty Nest - the way it is supposed to be.

Sometimes I feel like I have nothing to say.

Then I read a post on another blog and I find I am commenting with more than just a few words.

That is what happened this morning.

One of the blogs I follow is called A Simple Happy Life.  She posted about being a new empty nester  and the emotions of that state in life.  It sparked a realization in me.

I was an Empty Nester a while back with all the emotions of that state.  I don't think I am now.

That was a new idea for me.

Both my kids moved home separate times after moving out the first time.  It seems to be the way of it in this economy.  But now they both have property that they live in and one is married.  I doubt either will move back home again.

I remember when they both moved back home and I was joyful.  But I also remember after a few months feeling like this was not how they should be living their lives.  And I began to want independence for them again, while still enjoying their company at home.  When they moved out I was happy for them.  The house was quiet again and I was sad, but this was how if is supposed to be I thought.

Now they are in their 30's.  Although they both have their "adult wings", they would still always be welcome if needed.  They will always have the option of a roof over their heads in my home as long as I live, but I enjoy my own separate life now, and I am slowing down so live-in family under my roof would be a stretch for me.  I know that they are supposed to be on their own, and this is the way it is supposed to be.

Now as I approach my older years I take care of myself - and must focus doing a good job of that because I don't want them to have any responsibility for me ... I have lived through that with my mom.  It is a very hard path to travel and I don't want that for them.  It is not the way it is supposed to be!!

My nest is empty only if I expect one of them to move back home.  I don't.  My nest is perfect the way it is.  So it is not empty.

Life is a cycle - so it is said.

Funny, I don't think we truly know that in our hearts until we live through it.

Guess I still have something to say.

4 comments:

  1. I've been through that in and out stage with our daughter and now I can comfortably say my nest is empty...with the hubs in the hospital it's REALLY empty.

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  2. Wow! You perfectly stated what I have been feeling!
    As we were moving her the day after I wrote that, I realized, "This is the way it is supposed to be." And I wasn't sad anymore. It was past time for this to happen. And I'm happy that both of my kids are in a place in their lives where they could both buy a house. I would welcome them back if need be (and I hope that situation never comes up), but I will enjoy this new phase in our lives. I love what you said about your nest being perfect the way it is. I will not consider my nest empty either. You never know what tomorrow brings and I am going to fully enjoy this time in my life right now. ♥

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  3. My two children (who are younger than yours)have both left the nest. I doubt that they would come back to live here, but I am very glad that I get to see them often. The thing with parenting is that the measure of a 'job well done' is that your children become independent adults. So, I would add to "this is the way it is supposed to be", "Job well done!" ☺

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  4. My nest empties and then fills again with adult kids coming and going. I love that you imply, even when the nest is cleared out, it's still OK. You have yourself and your own agenda and your own time and interests, so life is never empty, just different.

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Yes, you do want to comment! I can see it in your face:-)