Frustration - Navel gazing

I really seem to make my life more difficult than it needs to be. The next 20 years shouldn't be more difficult.

When I was a working person, I always set the bar high. My employers loved me. People who set the bar high don't need much managing. Managers love employees who don't need much managing. Less work for the manager.

But I am retired! No boss. No job. No bar setting. But obviously the old bar-setting behavior is still rampant.

For example: This month has been pretty poor in getting in all my walks. My average steps per day in October are 7,699 (in September is was about 10,400 per day). To reach that 10,000 goal between now and October 31st I would need to walk over 34,400 steps per day for 3 days! And when I discovered that fact on Walker Tracker - I immediately thought - "well, that is possible. I could do that ... just for 3 days ... I might need alittle Advil, but ... "

So, let's see raised hands on just how insane I was for that 5 minutes.

Today while I was riding into Bethesda to pick up Milo (a bright spot in my life that I can't do without), while riding in the car (which means I was sitting - not walking - which means no steps *sigh*), I got to thinking. I should approach this whole process looking at what I can do, what fits into my life, ... and stop trying to apply an arbitrary structure - which ends in frustration when I miss the goal. I really do my best thinking when I am riding into Bethesda. I am by myself, no radio, no pod casts, no distractions.

Tomorrow I am going to enjoy the 2 hours of peace I have first thing in the morning when I am the only one up - instead of mentally arguing with myself about going for a walk in that time. I am not a morning person - so sitting quietly with coffee, checking my email, watching the birds, harvesting my crops on "We Rule" ... accept the quiet stuff that fills my early mornings and quiets my brain as well. The walk will come and so will the steps. But not on a schedule.

Make the end of the month a "discovery" time - rather than a charge to the finish line.

Darn uptight Type A personalities ... why couldn't I have been born a more relaxed Type B.