Mark Twain

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do ...
Explore. Dream. Discover." Mark Twain

Thursday, April 7, 2011

F - is for Female - Growing Up Female

We don't get a choice - we are born male or female.

We all have a narrow little view of the world through our own experiences ... experiences that are very much colored by our gender. As I was considering this post, I couldn't help but wonder - if I could choose, would I choose male or female?

When I am faced with a question of "which is better" - like toaster ovens, cars, vacations, computers, etc., I like to revert back to a "Pro vs Con" list. There is nothing on earth that can't be evaluated through the Pro vs Con list.

Growing up female is no exception. So here we go ...

Disclaimer - Disclaimer - Disclaimer
The following list is personal opinion,
not meant to cause friction,
insult a specific gender,
start WW III.
These are causal, off the cuff comments that popped into my brain.
And no comments about my brain either!!

Pros of being female
  • Gives birth - to grow a human being inside of you is probably the most wonderous experience in the world. Men can't do that.
  • Close female relationships - women usually form female groups - groups that are supportive and personally satisfying. Men usually seek out women for those kinds of groups.
  • Women typically develop better coping and time management skills than men - mostly to survive so many conflicting demands of home and work. Men usually let their wives manage that!
  • Ok, this one is silly, but .... women can wear men clothes. Men can't wear women's clothes without a lot of raised eyebrows.
Cons of being female
  • Giving birth (yes, it is in this list too.) To push that watermellon out of your body hurts like hell! Men won't do that (I can't say I blame them.)
  • Women aren't physically as strong. Getting help to open that jar of pickles is more than making the man feel needed. I want the pickles!!!
  • Women usually get the lion's share of the work - family, household, professional. Yes, it makes them better time managers, but it also makes them sleep deprived and grumpy. This situation is improving as each generation raises their sons differently, but now ...
  • Women are still looking into a "glass ceiling" and experiencing lower pay for the same work as men - at least that continues until the "Great Revolt" takes place.

Seriously, all silly bullet points aside, one is not really better than the other - just different! It is our culture places labels and assigns values.

But I am also glad ... I was born female.

Your thoughts??


  1. i am glad i was born female too. as i mature, i'm understanding more and more the difference btwn us females and males. the one thing i'd trade is for a bigger bladder. ;)

  2. hahaha Very humorous!

    I am new to your blog, and I find it quite interesting. Looking forward to reading more of your posts :-)


  3. You brought up some very interesting points! Every story does have 2 sides to it and you did a great job describing them. Overall, I think our team is a win-win! Julie

  4. ...and then a male comes along. lol

    great post, Elaine!:)

    but you're wrong about one thing. males "could experience, know, and understand the pain of giving birth....if they chose to. i listened to another female comedian once and she directed this part to males.

    If you would like to know what it's like to give birth to a baby, all you do is follow these two steps.

    1. pinch your upper lip as hard as you can between your forefinger and thumb until you cry.

    2. then while pinching that lip and crying....pull it up and stretch it over your head.

    also i would add that since my wife is a working professional and i'm retired that my wife doesn't need to do very much "homework." i do a lot of it. she does the finish on the laundry because i don't fold things "properly" according to her. we share cooking 50/50.

    BUT....if/when we're out with other couples, I DO NOT INVITE MY BUDDIES TO GO TO THE BATHROOM WITH ME!

  5. Very interesting question - having never been born male (at least that I'm aware of) I can't really compare. But from my life experience, I'd rather be female than male (except for all the typical female elements like menstrual cramps, fibroid tumors, etc.).Nice to "meet" you thru the a-z hallenge.

  6. Sojourner,

    Loved your response. The male perspective represented well.

    I celebrate the differences!

    Thank you all for responding.

  7. I'm thankful that I am a man and I'm even more thankful that my wife is a woman :-)

  8. Those are some understandable reasons and your comment about the pickles is hilarious.

    Many times, I can't stand being female because we're always in competition for a man's attention and tend to be graded first on levels of attractiveness than anything that is unfair.

    I also hate PMS (hey, You brought up the subject and asked our thoughts, so here, you go, lol)....I mean, men don't have to be in constant pain for an entire week, every month for most of their lives.....again, not fair!

    So to me, men have it better BUT, like that saying goes, it's always greener on the other side so since I'm not a man, I could be totally off base and men may deal with more challenges than women.

    Sometimes, I do like being female though because we have the benefit of looking all pretty and wearing cute dresses and cute shoes and jewelry. It's just so fun, sometimes :)

    However, I wouldn't go as far to claim that women get the "lion's share" of the work because that does not always apply, especially in households where the husband has a labor intensive job.

    I think that women's role are just very difficult to balance because we are expected to be caretakers for EVERYONE in the household and it can seem like no one, including the husbands, understand that women need time for themselves as well.

    If a woman gives to her children all day, taking care of babies or homeschooling and then has to clean the house and also has to make sure food is on the table for the husband and children and then put the children to bed and then have sex with her husband at night and then get up to make breakfast and do it all over again......this is when being a female gets exhausting!....and no longer becomes very fun.

    It then becomes more like a full-time job where the woman has to find time to squeeze in a lunch break because there isn't one scheduled at noon or 1pm everyday.....oh, and speaking of a job...I forgot to mention a job...what if the woman works to on top of all of that....OMG

    That's just too much.

    I'm getting tired even thinking about it.

    The Madlab Post


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