"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do ...
Explore. Dream. Discover." Mark Twain
Saturday, August 20, 2011
The most beautiful discovery true friends make
is that they can grow separately without growing apart.
~ Elisabeth Foley
What a true statement.
I do believe that friendship is a convoluted subject, one that isn't easily discussed without using generalities or platitudes. My life has been filled with many friendships, but I wanted to give a nod to the special kind of friendship that doesn't fit the typical friendship mold.
The seldom seen or talked to friend!
The friend you are instantly at ease with
even if it has been 10 years since you last talked.
As a child or young person friends seem to be an important influence and fluid part of our lives. As a child, friends can be casually made in a moment. Ask a child who has just spent time playing in the sandbox with a new acquaintance ... who is this person they are spending time with and they usually say without hesitation "my friend". Teens place a great importance on the opinions of their "friends" - peer pressure is all about friends and what they think and how you fit in.
But as you mature you realize that not everyone who crosses your path in life is a friend. By mid life many established friendships are tested by distance, time or hardship. Sometimes those tested friendships disappear. Later in life some long term friendships can almost reach the level of family ties.
I am blessed with the ability to make friends easily. I count a diverse group of people among my friends. As the quote above reflects, friendship should be able to stand the test of individual growth and change. Friends who are cookie cutter images of me are not as satisfying as those hold a different perspective.
The most surprising friendships for me are the ones that are not nurtured. You hear all the time ... friendships, relationships, marriages ... they need caring and tending to be successful. And yet, I personally have a hand full of friends who I rarely see or communicate with, and when we get together it is like no time has passed, no changes in who we are have occurred.
Yet, change has occurred. Life changes you. But the basic underlying relationship is unchanged. The comfort in each other's company remains.
Why is that!
Can it be said that friendship is more of a chemistry thing?
You either have a good chemistry with a person or you don't.
Or is the art of building friendships more an individual thing?
Are some individuals more open to the differences of others
and that is what makes the friendship work between 2 divergent people?
I can think of at least 5 individuals who fit this category of "distant friend"